His Lie in April - 四月の彼の嘘 (Shigatsu no Kare no Uso)
by jlgarfield
Summary: All of his life, Kousei Arima was a boy that was just about automatic as you could get when playing the piano. Then, one day, a free-spirited violinist comes into her life...but then, Kousei finds out his fate may be in jeopardy. As you can tell, this is an alternate retelling of Your Lie in April. But the fates have been reversed. What will happen here? Find out and read.
1. Our Story

NOTE: This fic was first published and appeared on March 11, 2019 on Wattpad, and was completed on June 2, 2019. It is now also available on this site ( ) for your reading enjoyment.

Also, some chapters may have shortened names; some of the chapter names went over the 40-character limit provided by this site.

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FIRST WRITTEN ON JANUARY 24, 2019, FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MARCH 11, 2019 (AS THREE SEPARATE CHAPTERS)

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CHAPTER 1: OUR STORY

Once upon a time, there was young, black-haired boy with thick glasses by the name of Kousei Arima. It all started when he was a little boy, when his mother, Saki's friend, Hiroko Seto found something special in the boy when he recreated a song called "Idiot Husband"/"Hubby is a Dummy" that Hiroko played, much to the frustration of his father, Takahiko.

From there, the little Kousei cultivated himself into one of the best piano players in his school. Unfortunately, one side effect of him honing his talents is that he became much more distant between his old friends Ryouta Watari and Tsubaki Sawabe, who were athletes that played soccer and softball, respectively.

While Kousei's mother, Saki was a very loving mother, she also was, at the same time, an utter perfectionist who demanded nothing better than to have his son be the best. She had trained him to become almost like a machine when he played the piano.

As a result of this, Saki and Kousei shared a rather bipolar relationship, beating him for even the most minor of mistakes. They would get along one day and be like cats and dogs viciously fighting the next. She was just cruelly abusive towards him on such days like that, and her words were as cold as ice.

Around the time Kousei was seven, Saki became terminally ill. Things reached a breaking point one day, when the seven-year old Kousei entered a competition and performed very well. Saki had come from the hospital to watch him, but she was not satisfied with his performance, because she had felt he had not played the score the way it was written.

Saki took out her anger on the little Kousei, and this led to the wheelchair-bound Saki's friend Hiroko intervening with Saki to stop.

Little Kousei was scared to death and started sobbing; he had been beaten so badly, he needed some medical attention. Hiroko was NOT having any of Saki's borderline-evil attitude. Hiroko successfully stopped Saki from beating her son further. Saki had beaten her own son pretty badly.

When it was all said and done, an angry Kousei said "I wish you'd just die, mom! I'll never play the piano again!" Of course, while Kousei would continue to play the piano, his wish of having his mother die ultimately came true, much to his surprise and shock, as she died shortly after this incident.

Saki's death deeply affected Kousei, and he regretted ever for wishing such a horrible wish on his mother, in spite of their Jekyll-and-Hyde relationship. Of course, his mother's disease was hereditary, so at this time his condition was diagnosed as anemia, when your iron levels drop and make you eventually pass out, something that Kousei himself would not know he would have for a long while. However, it would turn out to be something much worse...

Saki's death had also affected Kousei as well, as shortly after the incident and her death, he stopped playing the piano altogether for a couple years; the incident had made him tone deaf, and it really did a real number on his skills.

Also compounding his problems was that he had become very distant with his friends. But even with this, almost seven years after Saki's death, and with Kousei now being 15, music could never leave Kousei's life. He will listen to music through a music player and write musical notes on a music sheet. That's all he could do during school.

One day, however, Kousei found himself on a path that would eventually lead him towards his whole musical skills coming back to him again. Tsubaki Sawabe was now a softball player, and Ryota Watari played soccer.

Kousei was minding his own business when a softball that was hit by Tsubaki landed in the music room and knocked Kousei out cold. This led to Kousei and Tsubaki cleaning up the room, but they were reprimanded by the school's vice principal. After that was done, they stopped for some ice cream, and Watari received a text from a girl and rushed off to meet the mystery girl, leaving Kousei and Tsubaki out in the cold, figuratively speaking. Another day passed, and Kousei met up with Tsubaki and Ryouta at a park, and the two of them showed up late. While walking around a park, Kousei could hear a melodica playing "Pazu's Fanfare" from the movie _Laputa: The Castle in the Sky_. Who was playing it? Why, it was a beautiful, petite blond-haired girl, who was with three other kids cheerfully spectating and subsequently joining in her playing of the song with their own instruments.

Kousei became enchanted by this beautiful girl's music, and unbeknown to her, a gust of wind flew in their direction, and this sent the girl's skirt flying, and Kousei inadvertently took a picture of her with the skirt up.

This led to the girl becoming enraged over the photo, and she had also noticed that Kousei had her leggings in his hands, believing that he intentionally grabbed them, leading to her confusing him for a sick teenaged pervert, and comically thrashed him again over the leggings, even though what Kousei did was unintentional.

"You damn pervert, you took my leggings, and you took a picture with my skirt up pushed by the wind!" Thankfully for Kousei, Tsubaki and Watari came onto the scene just as the girl tried to strangle Kousei with her recorder. Tsubaki then introduced the mystery blond girl. Her name was Kaori Miyazono. She later apologized for Kousei for beating him up like that, because she thought that he took her compromising picture intentionally, when it wasn't.

After all that, Kaori realized she had to be over at Towa Hall to be at the violin competition going on there. It was at that point that Kaori specified to Kousei she was a violinist. Kousei turned down her invitation to be at Towa Hall, but Kaori dragged him in against his will.

As she performed at the hall for the violin competition, she, for some unearthly reason, decided to leave her accompanist behind, an action to which the judges disqualified her, because they deemed she tried to make the set piece her own.

However, this didn't stop Kaori from receiving a standing ovation for her captivating performance, and what saved Kaori was that the audience really enjoyed what she had put forth in her performance and was chosen as the audience choice to go through the next round. Kaori's face was saved... at least for now.

Now, when a free-spirited violinist meets a piano player who is just about tone-deaf and pretty much stuck in his own bubble, what do you think the results will be when that girl wants to make the boy her accompanist?

Well, you get the pianist turning down the violinist for that role at every possible turn. In the few days that had passed since Kousei Arima, our pianist, met our violinist, Kaori Miyazono, he turned down just about EVERY offer Kaori put forth.

After a while, it got the point where she taped up numerous copies of score of Saint Saëns' Rondo Capriccioso, which is what Kaori chose to have them perform at the upcoming competition. Tsubaki Sawabe even hit a softball in Kousei's direction that landed in the music room, just badgering him to play the composition.

Kousei was shocked to discover that his book had the sheet music attached to the pages. It wasn't until a few moments later that it was actually Tsubaki that changed the wallpaper to the sheet music. Kaori was clearly at her wit's end. Kousei was still stuck in his uptight ways, and he STILL wouldn't budge. When the two encountered each other on a rooftop, she explained why Kaori played the violin.

She said she wanted everyone to remember her for her music, and that she and her music would be in their hearts forever. Up to this point, Kousei had turned down just about every offer from Kaori to be her accompanist. Kaori was getting desperate.

She started crying, feeling like her heart was being torn apart. She also said that she was about to lose heart as she sobbed. That did it. For Kousei, after so much thinking and rejecting Kaori, he finally gave in and agreed to make Kaori his accompanist.

That's when she stopped crying, and all was finally right in her world. It wasn't until a little bit later that the two conspirators who wanted Kaori to be Kousei's accompanist, Watari and Tsubaki showed up, still attempting to force him to do just that, when they didn't realize Kousei had finally accepted Kaori's offer.

Kousei then started studying the sheet music for the performance. Having finally struck an alliance with the once monotone and rigid Kousei, Kaori finally became all happy again.


	2. Trouble Lies Ahead

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MARCH 11, 2019

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CHAPTER 2: TROUBLE LIES AHEAD

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Kaori's last-ditch ploy to get Kousei, who was still stuck in his ways to be her accompanist, finally worked. Both Kaori and Kousei got to work on performing their parts for the competition.

Even as all this encouragement to play again was coming back to him, Kousei had moments where he couldn't shake off flashbacks of his mother being cold-hearted towards him. But Kousei would try and press on the best he could as he arrived at Towa Hall with Kaori, with Tsubaki and Watari watching from the audience. Both Kousei and Kaori had prepared rigorously to get them ready for this day. Things were looking good. Kaori told Kousei, "Please, try and look up to me."

This was because Kousei would often look downward as he played. Kousei started off by adjusting the piano bench to his liking. The audience members remembered Kousei from all his previous competitions, but they also had some questions as to why he had an accompanist- it was the first time he had performed with one, ever.

As they had designated beforehand, Kousei and Kaori performed Camille Saint-Saëns' Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso. Things started off smoothly for the two, but those flashbacks of his deceased mother watching him from her usual spot in the audience caused him to black out briefly, pounding the keys and playing them off-key, until he just didn't want to play. His motive was that he didn't want to disturb the audience. With this, Kaori halted her playing of the violin, as well.

She took a moment to get her train of thought back on track and continued. As Kaori played solo, Kousei remembered what his mother reminded him of what he told him about the piano. "The piano is you. If you touch it gently, it will smile. If you touch it with force, it will become enraged."

Those words never left Kousei, as they stuck with him like glue every time he played. However, just as their performance reached its climax, something went horribly wrong. Kousei suddenly stopped and put his hands on his chest. Oh, god, what is going on with me? I can't play or think straight! He thought. His breathing became increasingly labored, and then Kousei's glasses collapsed, and he fell face-first into the piano; all the piano keys produced a sound that all the keys were hit out of tune.

The audience gasped lightly at first upon seeing this. Kaori, somewhat oblivious to what was going on with Kousei at first, continued without him, but as Kousei stopped and eventually collapsed, she shockingly gasped over what she saw. Oh, my god... I think Kousei is having a heart attack! She thought to herself as it happened.

The audience gasped even louder and were also left in shock as to what happened. It was as if all time had stood still. It didn't take long for someone to notice, and an ambulance arrived on the scene, and rushed the unconscious Kousei to Totsuhara General Hospital. Kaori was shell-shocked. "I don't like this... now I'm scared, and Kousei might have had a heart attack..."

The P.A. Announcer at Towa Hall came on, saying "Due to this unfortunate event, the remainder of this musical competition has been postponed to an unspecified date. We apologize to everyone in attendance and those who have participated." Watari and Tsubaki were also as shell-shocked as Kaori was.


	3. Shell-Shocked

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MARCH 28, 2019

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CHAPTER 3: SHELL-SHOCKED

_It's time for some music, and here is some Christopher Cross for you. _

(EDITOR'S NOTE: This is emanating from Kaori's clock radio. The song that plays in the background is "Sailing" by Christopher Cross.)

It had been a day since Kousei had been hospitalized for what was at first presumed to be a heart attack. Kaori was now at her place. She woke up from her slumber and turned off the clock radio that woke her up. Her hair fully messed up and clad in black biker shorts and a green Saskatchewan Roughriders T-shirt, she woke up.

She sighed and began to worry about Kousei. "It's been a day since Kousei collapsed... I'm worried..." she fretted. Even though both she and Kousei were disqualified from the competition yesterday for halting their music at one point, that was, for the time being, the least of her worries.

She then reached for a can of canned coffee that was on her desk. Kaori drank the canned coffee and smiled contently. "Aah, canned coffee. Such a convenient and savory drink to have." Kaori slowly got dressed into her uniform. It was a Friday.

A knock was heard on her door. "Tsubaki? Watari? Kaori asked, and answered the door. Sure enough, it was Tsubaki and Watari that showed up at her door. Tsubaki said, "I'm here to talk about Kousei." Kaori said, "Yeah. I was worried that he suffered a heart attack." Watari then said, "No. It wasn't a heart attack. The doctors think he just merely lost energy and collapsed. There's also been reports he may be going deaf as well, but all of this is too early to determine." Kaori was only slightly reassured. "Well, it wasn't a heart attack. But he's going deaf? That has me scared. He can't be sick, dammit!"

Kaori, before she could even think about turning catatonic, took a few deep breaths. Just she drank a cup of tea, she finished getting dressed into her school uniform. All this news of Kousei being ill scared her. Tsubaki told her, "His mother also had this same disease, and it left her in the wheelchair. It is quite possible that Kousei has inherited it, and they're looking into it today. We're not sure, but let's not be quick to jump to any conclusions."

Kaori, trying her hardest not to go into a catatonic state, again, said "I hope he'll be okay. Excuse me, you two... I just need a moment to calm down." Tsubaki and Watari nodded. "Okay." Kaori went to her room, trying her best to hold back tears. She paced back and forth in a straight line to keep herself from falling apart. It was about 10 minutes later, after quite a bit of breathing later, that she came back to the two. "Okay, I'm better now. I'm a little scared, quite frankly, you guys..." She lamented. As Kaori was a few minutes late to school, she and her two friends walked together.

Kaori was greeted in the music room by Watari and Tsubaki, who were equally worried about Kousei as Kaori was. However, they were just about left in the dark as to what happened to Kousei. Kaori, with a worried tone of voice, finally brought the two up to speed with the situation.

"Listen, Watari, Tsubaki, I really don't want to alarm you right now, but I want to start by stating I feared that Kousei had a heart attack yesterday. He didn't. However, he fainted and now they are checking to see whether he had the same disease that ultimately led to his mother being wheel-chair bound and eventually dying." The two looked at Kaori in shock. "This can't be!" Tsubaki said. "That would explain what happened when he suddenly fainted..." Watari said in an equally worried tone. "This is bad..." Tsubaki said. "I'm just as concerned as you are, Watari and Tsubaki. I'm picking up the pieces right now as to what happened... We need to go see him." The three friends trekked to Totsuhara General Hospital to check on their friend.


	4. Kousei's Pain

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MARCH 28, 2019

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CHAPTER 4: KOUSEI'S PAIN

It was approaching 4 PM. The three found Kousei. Kaori asked Tsubaki. "Yes. Hello, Tsubaki. What can you tell me?" Tsubaki sighed and began with this: "We still haven't gotten a definitive answer yet, but it is fairly likely that Kousei has some sort of unspecified disease. Now, before you start freaking, please note that there may be a chance, however small it is, that it isn't, and this is all a false alarm. Please understand, Kaori..." Kaori sighed heavily, and said "Alright. Let's all chat with him for a bit."

The three went to Kousei's room. He was bare-chested, his chest being marked with a few monitors, and his hands were on his shoulders, almost covering up his pectoral muscles. The two heard Kousei muttering various things, mostly along the lines of _I'm scared. My mother taught me well, and now I'm here in the hospital, just feeling like my heart and chest is being gripped by a vise tightly... I'm blacking out and things seem blurred to me now... What the hell happened to me?_

He was trembling a little as he muttered those words. "Kousei?" Kaori said. "We're here to see you. As are Tsubaki and Watari." Kousei finally snapped out of it, and finally spoke. "Oh, sorry. Hi, guys, how are ya?" "Worried about you." Kaori said with a little fear in her voice. "Hi, guys." Kousei also said. "Kousei... we've been worried about you. Ever since I saw you fall into that piano, Kaori here, and your other friends have been worried sick. How are you feeling now?"

Kousei sighed, and said "Oh, just a little better. For a moment, I thought I had a heart attack, but that wasn't the case. I think I fainted..." Kaori said "Yeah, that's what I was thinking at first, that you had a heart attack." "Yeah... It turns out I may have the same disease that my mother had. I'm worried... but I'm trying my best to keep myself together. It was like all time had stood still yesterday... I might be released tonight, however." "Okay."

Kaori said in a somewhat encouraging tone of voice. Kousei then asked Kaori something, as he handed her some money, 2000 yen, to be exact. "Here's 2000 yen. Can you be as kind as to bring me the following: A couple egg sandwiches, some potato chips, and maybe some canned coffee?" Kaori nodded, and affirmed him. "Okay, Kousei. Will do."

Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki convened one last time for the day outside of his room. Before they adjourned, a feeling of worry surrounded the three. "Our poor Kousei... Passed out for some reason. I hope it's nothing major..." Tsubaki nodded. "Me too. That was quite the terrifying scene yesterday...Can't believe we've known him for so long, and he just collapses under pressure! I hope it's nothing serious as well..." Watari realized he was late for another soccer practice, as was Tsubaki with her softball practice as well. "Oh, my... what time is it? I need to get to practice soon!" Tsubaki said. "Me too, Tsubaki! We gotta run, talk to you later, Kaori!" Kaori said "OK, see you guys soon!"

As the three exited the hospital, Kaori ventured into a convenience shop a few blocks away and looked at the food items he had to get for Kousei. She found two egg sandwiches. "Egg sandwiches, check..." Next came a bag of potato chips. "Potato chips, got that..." Lastly came two cans of canned coffee. "And that's it! This is what Kousei wants, and what Kousei wlll get." She paid the cashier and got about 500 yen back in change. "Thank you, come again." The clerk said. With the items in hand, Kaori went back to Totsuhara General Hospital to give the food items to Kousei.

Unfortunately, it just so happened that Kousei was having a sponge bath, and a second nurse was also shaving his face with a shaving razor; additionally, Kousei's face was covered in shaving cream. His bare chest was exposed. As Kaori saw this, she reacted as such: Her face became beet red, and she muttered "Oh, crap..." Kousei's face also turned red, his face covered in shaving cream as well.

"Kaori, dammit! This is not a way to get male fanservice! Gidouddahere!" Kaori, at a loss for words, put the bag of food and change down on the door, and made like a tree and left very quickly, saying as she left the bag down on the floor "SORRY! I SAW NOTHING! I'M OUTTA HERE!"

"Sorry about that, guys... that's some food that I asked her to get." he told them. The nurse that was shaving him said to the second attending nurse that was bathing him, "Excuse me, can you retrieve that?" The first nurse said, "Sure." She put it on one of the counters, so that Kousei would eat the food later. "I'll be sure to eat those egg sandwiches, the bag of chips and coffee later." The nurses continued on their work on cleaning Kousei like nothing happened, with one of them sponge bathing Kousei, and the other shaving his face with a razor.

As Kaori ran out, her mind was flustered over what she saw. _BRAINBLEACHBRAINBLEACHBRAINBLEACHBRAINBLEACHBRAINBLEACHBRAINBLEACH_ she muttered to herself as she ran out. She wanted to get something to get her mind off Kousei's shirtlessness. She found something a couple minutes later. It was a donut place that also sold coffee. _Maybe this will get my mind off Kousei's partial nudity..._ she thought to herself.

She then went to the donut establishment and came away with a medium sized iced coffee and two donuts. She then sat on a bench and consumed the donuts and coffee contently. _Yum... Coffee and donuts. It won't solve all your problems in life... But it can make them bearable. If only I had some coffee cake with cinnamon... but this will do._

That night as she got home, Kaori got into her Saskatchewan Roughrider T-shirt as she went to bed. Her mind couldn't get off Kousei. _Oh, Kousei... you were playing so magnificently until you passed out. I hope you are okay..._. As she went off to bed.

As Kousei slept in the hospital, he thought to himself _Am I going to survive? Am I going to be alright? Am I really connected to my mother in ways I never thought possible? The future is looking bleak for me. It's like darkness is setting... or is it?_ He then slept peacefully, with nothing bothering him... for now.


	5. Another Day, Another Chance

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MARCH 11, 2019

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CHAPTER 5: ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER CHANCE

It had been four days since Kousei was first hospitalized. He was released from the hospital on the previous day, a Saturday, April 8. Kaori woke up that morning, and the song _Shout_ by Tears for Fears played on her clock radio to wake her up.

Kaori was like, as she woke up: "Kousei... I wonder how he is today?" Kaori got dressed, and she didn't have to be in her school uniform, since it was Sunday. Tsubaki and Watari already had plans to be in a soccer and softball game, but not together, of course, so they were unavailable for the time being.

Kaori got out of her pajamas, and into a pair of jean shorts and her green Saskatchewan Roughriders team T-shirt; it had the team's modern logo with the words _SASKATCHEWAN ROUGHRIDERS_ above the logo. It was a gift from her uncle living in Canada, Seiya Miyazono, who happened to like the team. She liked the shirt as well, looked at herself in the mirror, and thought contently, "Eh, I guess this will do. Today is quite pleasant... So, why not?" Kaori started walking around, and came across Watari, in his soccer uniform.

"Hi, Watari." Kaori said with a smile on her face. "What ya doing, Kaori?" Watari asked him. "Eh... Not much. I heard that Kousei got discharged from the hospital yesterday. I'm going to look for him. Obviously, you and Tsubaki must be busy practicing for your games, so I'll let ya go."

As she said this, a couple of Watari's teammates called him to get back to practice. "Have a good game, now." Watari nodded and smiled at Kaori, as he complied with his teammates who wanted him back. "You have a good day now, Kaori." Kaori walked off. She continued on her merry way.

A few minutes had passed by, and there was Tsubaki, who was on a softball field making last minute preparations for her game with her team. "Kaori... how ya doing?" Kaori smiled at Tsubaki. "Better than I was a few days ago, that's for sure." Tsubaki noticed her shirt. "Nice shirt, where'd ya get that?" Kaori explained "My cousin in Canada got it for me." Tsubaki said, "Fantastic. Green is definitely your color, Kaori." Kaori nodded.

She also realized that she didn't have much time to talk to Tsubaki, as she caught her in the middle of preparations, and a couple of her teammates were calling for her to get back to practice. "Oh, my... you gotta be practicing. I'll see ya soon!" Tsubaki nodded. "See ya, Kaori." Kaori continued walking, as Tsubaki went back to softball practice.

Then, several minutes passed, and Kousei, wearing his _NO LIFE IS ENOUGH_ shirt and a pair of jeans on this balmy day, looking at his sheet music, listening to his music player, just minding his own business on a park bench.

It was really the natural thing for him to do, for a guy that was fixated on music. He was also drinking some canned coffee. It was like nothing had happened to him, not a sign that he had been hospitalized days earlier. He was back to his usual self, just being focused on his own world with his music player. Kaori knew it was Kousei, just merely watching life pass by, on this balmy sunny April afternoon.

"Kousei? Is that you?" Kousei then got out of his own world, and back down to Earth. "Oh, hi, Kaori. How are you doing?" Kaori smiled and said "Just fine. You were in your own world for a bit. How are you lately? What happened?"

Kousei hesitated briefly. "Oh, it's nothing. Just a brief illness. I just hope it passes by, ya know. Today's another day, and another chance for me." Kaori nodded at him, and said "Good to know, Kousei." Kousei continued with "Yeah, it's nothing, for now... I hope." Kaori continued with

"By the way, sorry I caught you at the wrong time earlier when I got you your food. I didn't quite expect that to happen to you! Seeing you shirtless had me all flustered." Kousei put on a smile and said, "It's all good, Kaori. It was an honest mistake, yannow?"

It was right then and there that Kaori's bright green-colored Saskatchewan Roughriders shirt caught Kousei's eye. "Sas... Saskatchewan Roughriders? Who are they?" Kaori smiled, closed her eyes and giggled lightly at him. "Oh, they're a team in the Canadian Football League."

Something was also on Kaori's mind. "Hey, Kousei. There's this place that serves a Canadian dish around here... Let's go and talk about things there." Kousei couldn't refuse her offer. "Alright, what are waiting for? Let's go."

The two ventured out into Tokyo, where they found a place called Murphy Fries. It was atypical casual restaurant, which as its name implied, specialized in French fries. Kousei looked in awe at the place. "So, what is this, anyway?" He asked her. "Kousei, this is a place which specialize in French fries, silly." The two sat down at a table and read the menu.


	6. Stand By Me, Kaori

As Kousei and Kaori began to eat at Murphy Fries, which was a standard roadside restaurant with a Canadian motif to it, Kaori ordered poutine, which was the Canadian dish she had mentioned. Kousei simply had a regular hot dog.

Kousei, whose mind was now back to normal after quite a few days of blacking out, started talking as the two were served their food. He then had a question for Kaori. "So, what is this Canadian dish you were telling me about?" Kaori smiled at him. "This is it. It's poutine." She told him. A bowl of poutine stood before Kaori.

Kousei looked disgusted at first, seeing that mess of food. "What is that, exactly, Kaori?" Kaori explained as such "Well, it's French fries that are covered in gravy and cheese curds. Don't let the look put you off, it's actually quite tasty." Kousei, who at first had reservations about poutine, was reassured. Kaori smiled and said, "Go ahead, have a taste." Kousei ate a few of the cheese curd and gravy covered fries and smiled. "You know... This is actually good. I never knew that fries could be this tasty."

At the same time, as he was eating his hot dog, covered in onions, mustard, ketchup and relish with some potato chips, Kousei looked bemused at Kaori's bright green Saskatchewan Roughriders T-shirt. "Kaori... Who are the Saskatchewan Roughriders again?" Kaori explained herself. "They're a team in the Canadian Football League. They're a pretty popular team in the league." Kousei then asked, "And how did you get your hands on the team's gear, when we're in Japan, and they're all the way in Canada?"

Kaori smiled at Kousei. "I'm glad you asked, Kousei. My uncle Seiya, who lives in Canada, and he just so happens to like the team, and Canadian football. So, from time to time, he likes to give me Saskatchewan Roughrider gear in the mail." Kousei let out a wry smile. "Hmm... I should find out more about Canadian football sometime." However, Kousei's mind had become more curious about things, and he wanted to know more about this unique sport immediately.

"My next question, Kaori: What the heck is Canadian football?" Kaori smiled again. "I'm glad you asked that too. It's like American football, but the rules are slightly different. For instance, the field's larger, and unlike American football, where you get four downs to get 10 yards, you only get three there. It's a pretty exciting game; my cousin's been opening up my mind about it. He watches the games, and he says he likes it. I should watch a few games online, too, someday."

Kousei let out a smile. "Wonderful, Kaori. You're really broadening my horizons here." The two contently ate their meals, with Kousei looking as happy as could be for the moment. Kaori also contently ate the poutine. There was just something about it that was so tasty... Maybe it was the way that the gravy and cheese curds meshed with the fries?

As the sun set that evening, Kousei and Kaori walked around Nerima. All of that time was spent with Kousei muttering to himself _I gotta stay focused- I can't let that episode get to me. I've got to remember my worth on this piano... This is who I am, for better or for worse. All these years of training, for me, have led up to where I am now. It's not like I'm going to die, right? I'm just 14 years old, really. I've got, like, my whole life ahead of me! I gotta focus on the future and nothing more. I can't be too worried about my health right now! _Kaori asked him, "You okay, Kousei? You look a little spaced out lately."

To Kousei, the piano and him were one and the same. Not with Kaori, whose playing style was more unfettered. But to Kousei, he was still, despite having befriended Kaori, was still sort of stuck in his ways. Kaori had a question for Kousei as they approached the Doryo Bridge.

"Kousei... what are your hopes and dreams for the future?" Kousei, with a quizzical look told her "Hmm. That is a tough question for someone like me to round out. I guess, be a famous pianist? I got nothing more. I had, like so many hopes and dreams early in my life, but..." Kaori stopped him temporarily. "But... What?" Kousei then stopped and said, "I donno. I don't want to talk about it right now."

Kaori continued with, "What's wrong? What don't you want to talk about?" Kousei finally said, "Well, all of my life, ya know, sometimes it seems like I'm nervous, maybe even blinded by performing out there in front of hundreds. What if I mess up? I'll be frank, Kaori: I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I feel like if I make one mistake, no matter how minor or major, *SNAPS FINGERS* there goes my whole life and career!"

Kaori said, "You know... Sometimes, I feel the same way." Kousei then said, "But, I will say this: Just when I think and say to myself and others 'I GIVE UP!" I just keep on going, put my feet back on the ground, and try it all over again. And that's how you tell the biggest and nicest lie of all."

Kaori then nodded and smiled at him. "You know that song, _I Made It Through the Rain_ by Barry Manilow? We dreamers have our ways/Of facing rainy days/And somehow we survive?"

Kousei was a bit unaware about the song. "Not really... But that song has a great point there. You know what? What have I got to lose at this point? I'm 14, I have my whole life ahead of me, ya know, I should be more confident! Well... Kaori, brace yourself. I'm going to jump right in the river. Here I go!" With that, Kousei, with an air of confidence that he was lacking earlier, jumped over the bridge, and landed without injuring himself. He let out a smile, and he was without with his glasses now.

Kousei said with a booming voice, "JUMP RIGHT IN!" With that, Kaori did just that, and yelled "BOMBS AWAY!" Her bright green shirt became wet, and the two gazed at each other and smiled. "You know what... Kaori? In the end, I'm going to be alright. I want to inspire people in many ways, and change the world, somehow. Please... Stand by me, why don't you, Kaori?"

Kaori nodded and gave a thumbs up to him. "You can bet the house on that, Kousei." Kousei smiled with his eyes closed, and said to her, "Thank you, Kaori... I suddenly... feel so confident about myself and my future now... it means a lot."

The two got out of the river, and eventually, both of them were near their respective homes. Kaori gave Kousei a hug. "Good night, Kousei. I'm glad you're doing better." Kousei smiled, and said, "Good night, Kaori. See ya soon."

He walked home, looking all happy again, as if his whole world was starting to brighten up again after that brief scare. Suddenly, a newfound sense of confidence and optimism began to enter his mind. "Life is looking up..." he said optimistically, as he headed to bed.

As Kaori headed to sleep, her optimism in Kousei was well-founded. _He sure has his whole life ahead of him... I have confidence in that guy. He's got a bright future._ she thought to herself, as she headed to sleep, after the end of a pretty fun day.


	7. Hopeful-A Raging River

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 17, 2019

* * *

CHAPTER 7: HOPEFUL/A RAGING RIVER

It was now Sunday. Kousei woke up in the morning, feeling happy about things, but also kind of questioning his future. "I'm feeling happy today... today is such a nice day. I'm feeling quite hopeful, as well. I wish I could go out, but I'll just stay here." He was in desperate need of a bath to clear his mind of what happened to him a few days ago.

Kousei undressed out of his black biker shorts and charcoal gray tank top, then turned on the bathtub faucets, removed his glasses from his face and put them on the counter in the bathroom. He then got in the bathtub and tried to clean himself off.

However, Kousei sank into the bathtub's water, fell asleep, and started having a bit of a nightmare.

At that point, everything around him became waterlogged. He was imagining his mother, still being there, and Kousei imagined himself being washed up by a large river, and her words resonating with him.

_Remember, Kousei... the piano is you. If you touch it gently, it will smile. If you touch it with force, it will become enraged..._

All Kousei could hear at this point was the sound of his own playing, and his mother's words to him about the piano.

_My mother's thoughts... it's like a raging river pulling me under. So much force... so overpowering... My playing... it's almost like I'm automatic. What is going on with me? My mother's words... they're drowning me! I can't hear anything anymore... it's all becoming blurred! _

As he continued becoming introspective in the bathtub, he felt a drowning sensation surround him.

Meanwhile, Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari walked around the streets of the Nerima district. Kaori, who was wearing the same Saskatchewan Roughriders shirt from the previous day (after she cleaned and dried it herself personally) and jean shorts, and with Tsubaki and Watari in their sports uniforms, the two had a question for Kaori.

Watari asked: "The Saskatchewan Roughriders... Who the heck are they, Kaori? You've been wearing that shirt quite often lately." Kaori smiled and said "You know, Kousei asked me this yesterday, and I'll tell ya both. They are a team in the Canadian Football League." Tsubaki asked her next "Canadian football? What's that? I've heard of American football, but I didn't know there was such a thing as Canadian football."

Kaori continued on. "That's because Canadian football is like American football. There are just a few differences: The field is bigger, you only get three downs and not four to get 10 yards, to name a few differences. My Canadian uncle, Seiya has given me some Saskatchewan Roughriders clothing recently, and he told me about the sport. I haven't seen a game yet, but he told me it's really exciting."

Watari smiled at Kaori. "You look great in that shirt. Green is most definitely your color." Kaori said to the two, "Thanks, Watari. He's widening my horizons. Kousei told us to see him right around this time now. It's 10 AM. He's been okay since that shock, and he's trying his best not to let it get to him." Sure enough, all three of them got to Kousei's place at that very time to talk to him. As the three came in, they found nobody there. Kaori called out Kousei. "Kousei? Kouseiiii? Ya there?" No answer.

Then they opened a door. It was the bathroom. The three could see Kousei sleeping in the bathtub. As Kousei stopped becoming introspective in the bathtub and woke up, he swam back up. He covered his mouth with his hands and tried to breathe and get some air. "Oh, crap... damn... my shoulders, my eyes... I... where... am... I?" Much to his surprise, he found his friends, Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki waiting for him as he got up.

"Kousei... We're here!" Tsubaki called enthusiastically. At this point, things became really awkward when Kousei's three friends got a glimpse of nude body, but they could only see him from the waist up. All three of them looked on in surprise at his bare chest. Kousei let out a Three Stooges-esque "Nyahh-ahhh-ahhh!" as he saw the three.

Kaori then said in a deadpan voice, "Oh, crap..." Kousei's face turned beet red and he covered up his pectoral muscles with his arms.

"AAAHHH! YOU DAMN IDIOTS! DON'T YOU KNOW THIS BATHROOM IS OCCUPIED?! GIDDOUT! ALL OF YOU!" Kousei then threw every toiletry he could get his hands on at his three friends in a fit of rage over the peep show his friends unintentionally got.

All three of them got out of his residence very quickly. Kaori could feel a slight twinge of pain on the nape of her neck. "Ow..." Kaori said. "What happened, Kaori?" Tsubaki asked. "I think Kousei hit me with a bar of soap."

Kaori had an idea. "Guys, do you know what helps me out deal with seeing Kousei all undressed like that? Coffee and donuts. Come on, let's go get some."

Tsubaki nodded. "Yeah, let's go get some coffee and donuts and get back to Kousei's."  
With that, they went over to a coffee and donut shop a few blocks away. All three of them ventured into the establishment, and each person got a large iced coffee with four donuts each.

Kaori smiled at Tsubaki. "You know... coffee and donuts may not solve all of your problems in life, but they can help out with them." Watari nodded. "Agreed... who knew donuts and coffee could be a nice little escape from your problems in life?" Tsubaki nodded at the two in agreement. "Yeah... there's nothing like coffee and donuts to get your mind off your worries."

All three came back to Kousei's residence, where he was wearing that same charcoal gray tank top and black biker shorts; his glasses were back on his face again, as he dried off his hair with a towel. He was still a little steamed over the little peep show he unintentionally gave them.

"Kaori, Watari, Tsubaki... don't you Three Stooges realize that you should have knocked before entering?!" he admonished them. Kaori said "We apologize, Kousei. You apparently fell asleep in the bathtub, and when we came in, you woke up."

Kousei said calmly, "Apology accepted, you guys. But just remember to knock next time, please. I apparently fell asleep and had a bit of a nightmare about my mother's voice coming back to haunt me." He was no longer angry at the three. But then he realized that Kaori was wearing the same green Saskatchewan Roughrider shirt from the previous day.

"Wait, Kaori... that green shirt, you were wearing that yesterday." Kaori said "Well, yes, but I had it cleaned. I like wearing it, Kousei. How are you feeling today?"

"Better... even with that nightmare I had in the bathtub just moments ago, I feel better. Hopeful, even." Kaori got out her phone. He wanted to have him listen to a composition he played recently which she recorded. It was Kousei playing Chopin's Étude Op. 25, No. 5. Everything about sounded okay, but as things progressed, he sounded somewhat out of tune.

As he heard this, Kousei ate another egg sandwich, a food item he loved so much. When he finished it, his face was almost like he had seen a ghost. He started spacing out. Kaori tried to get him to snap out of it. "Kousei... you look like you've seen a ghost... You're spacing out... Hello? Earth to Kousei..."

Kousei finally snapped out of it, but his spaced-out expression gave way to one of confusion. "What, what, what? This is how I sound like? This is not who I am, by a long shot!" Kaori then got out a blue pamphlet of paper. It was for a music competition. She had a beaming smile as she got it out. "Well, Kousei, I have got some news for you. I entered you into the Maihou Music Competition, the most prestigious music competition in Japan. If you win this contest, you will get a chance to play overseas!"

Kousei looked at the pamphlet. "Um, okay..." Kaori had another Q. "Kousei... what is your motivation to play the piano?" Kousei then answered "I dunno... maybe because my mother prodded me to? That's all I can think of..." Kaori then took charge and talked to him in a more assertive tone "Kousei... you heard yourself in that recording, right?" Kousei nodded. He had sort of spaced out again.

Kaori then said "Now you listen to me, Kousei. You have a few weeks to get your affairs in order for this contest. I believe in you... you're playing always sounds melodic, but yet you don't realize your true potential! Even if you can't hear your own playing... You have to have to put your faith in yourself as a pianist, and as a musician! You have to believe in yourself more!"

Kaori looked at her phone. It was now 11:30 AM. "Oh, my, Tsubaki, Watari, you guys have to practice at noon! We better get going!" Kaori left the blue pamphlet on Kousei's table. All three of them left Kousei's place, and Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari all headed for the door. "Kousei, I'll talk to you later. We'll see ya again... sometime." Watari nodded "Yeah, I gotta get ready for another big game coming up." Tsubaki nodded "Same here... I have a big game coming up, too."

Kousei then nodded to the three. "Okay, see you all soon." That night, Kousei, still wearing his tank top and biker shorts, gazed at the night sky on the deck of his house. "She's right... I need to put more faith in myself. But how do I do that? I'm almost like a machine. But even so... I remain hopeful about life. That's all I can think of right now, I'm still hopeful. I know that I felt like I was drowning this morning, but I know in my mind, in the end, things will be alright."

He then looked over the pamphlet Kaori handed him and thought to himself _Yes... this will be my big chance to show my potential! I want to believe... I really do. I'm suddenly feeling more hopeful about things than ever..._


	8. I Want to Believe

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 17, 2019

* * *

CHAPTER 8: I WANT TO BELIEVE

Kousei had some time to stew over his decision to compete in the Maihou Music Competition. As his friends, Ryouta Watari and Tsubaki Sawabe practiced for their big games in the coming days, Kousei was all alone Music Preparation Room, trying to get his thoughts together. At times, especially in the week that had passed, it seems like he was spaced out most of the time.

He just stood idly by his piano bench right by its piano, just merely playing the piano almost in his automatic style. But, one moment after he finished a piece, he became introspective about himself again. _So, I'm going to be competing in a big piano contest, eh? Why is it that, even though she's been gone for a while, my mother still resides within me? Every time I hear myself, I sound like I'm still fettered to her. I'm still hopeful about everything, but I want to believe... that I am no longer her puppet, no longer bound to her metaphorical shackles._

He then began playing the air piano with his fingers. Even with all this in mind, all he could think of how his musical style was. _That... That recording... I sounded that awful? What... could I be doing... wrong? Oh, good god... what is with me being on autopilot all the time when I play?_

He then got back on the piano, playing another piece and playing it wonderfully. He then got out a can of UCC Coffee and drank it. Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari seemingly left Kousei all alone on this school day, which was somewhat unusual for them. Tsubaki and Watari had to get ready for their regional matches, and thus had no time for Kousei. It was just as well, because Kousei was starting to feel at peace with himself with his life, and he needed some time to himself to get his train of thought in order.

As Tsubaki and Kaori walked home that night, Kousei's mental state was becoming somewhat of a concern for both of them. "So, ready for regionals?" Kaori asked. "Yes... I feel like I'm ready." Tsubaki smiled. "Kousei has been somewhat spaced out lately...it seems like each day since that health episode, the guy feels like he's on another planet." Kaori told her. "Still... I want to believe... that he has his whole life ahead of him. He has a bright future, and even though it seems he seems automatic, I want him to see a bright world... as much as I like to say it, I want to believe. Like Mulder's poster on _The X-Files_." The two reached Tsubaki's home. Kaori shook Tsubaki's hand, and the two parted company. "Have a good night, Tsubaki." Tsubaki smiled back at Kaori. "Good night, Kaori." And with that, Kaori went back to her home.

That night, Kousei looked at the pamphlet once more in the music preparation room. He had spent all night in that room. "Such a nice view tonight, huh, Kousei?" Kaori said. "Yeah." Kousei nodded. "How are you feeling, Kousei?" she asked him. "Better. I'm not as spaced out now." Kousei then got out another can of UCC Coffee and drank. Lately, all it seemed for Kousei was that he liked that drink. Kaori questioned him: "How many cans have you drank of that stuff today, Kousei, three?" "Four." "Well, Kousei, too much of that stuff isn't good for ya."

Kousei continued on. "For the first time ever in my life, I'm hopeful. I want to believe... that I am a wonderful pianist. But all this time... It seemed like I was running away from my destiny. For years... I wasn't able to hear anything. I only heard in monotone. Everything around me... seemed to be in black and white. But ever since that health episode, I've come to realize... I want to be more hopeful. I want to believe...that I have a future, and even though I've tried hard to run away from the past, I want to approach the future head on. But... one day a few years ago... I just couldn't handle the pressures of the piano anymore, so I walked away. It's taken me awhile... But I feel like you are finally trying to get me back on my bootstraps and get myself going again. I want to believe... that I can be a good, if not even better pianist than ever before. Even having a future free from being monotone. I heard myself on that recording you provided me... and sometimes it seems like I'm not at my best. And sometimes, I have days like that. I was such a perfectionist... that it seemed like I was beating myself up for every little mistake. Now I realize, we all make mistakes, and we have to accept those for what they are."

Kousei then stood up. "Come here." He put up his arms up, asking for a hug. Kaori accepted. "You're really something...I believe in you. You believe in me..." The two both shed some tears of joy as they embraced. For once, Kousei felt happy about things... and here Kaori was, ready to lend a helping hand in getting him back on his feet. He truly felt hopeful about his life, and for Kousei, Kaori was giving him a huge lift. Even making the hug sweeter, was that there was a full moon up. It made for a sweet scene.


	9. An Unlucky Day

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 17, 2019

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: Graphic/Gruesome/Severe Injury; this is going to be a dark chapter. Reader Discretion is Advised.

* * *

CHAPTER 9: AN UNLUCKY DAY

The next day, Ryouta Watari and Tsubaki Sawabe both spoke at a pep rally for Sumiya Junior High's soccer and softball teams (in fact, they were there to represent all the sports teams at Sumiya Junior High School).

Watari embarrassed the whole school when he boasted at himself. "Hey, I'm Ryouta Watari! You sure are lucky that you all have born in this era! Because when it's all said and done, you'll see a new star in Ryouta Watari! OOOH YEAAAH!" Having just spoken those last two words almost like the Kool-Aid Man, Kousei just rolled his eyes in embarrassment over Watari's boast.

Later, in the Music Preparation Room, Kousei went over his playing. "Lame, pathetic, not memorable..." He was beating himself up again. "Look at you, Kousei, beating yourself up again! Putting all those negative labels on you!" Kousei drank another can of UCC Coffee.

Kaori was puzzled over his recent addiction to that particular beverage. "That drink again. I've noticed you've been drinking that stuff a lot." Kousei asserted "It's what's keeping my mind at ease... And focused." Kaori just sighed and said "You drink too much too much of that stuff, and your mind will be going at a million kilometers an hour. Also, you'll be having more sleepless nights, and be more jittery. Be careful." As this was going on, Tsubaki was playing in her softball match. It was a pleasant day, but that would soon change.

Kaori asserted to Kousei "Look at you, Kousei. You were hopeful one moment, now you're beating up yourself again! What's with you?" Kousei sighed. "I went over the recording of myself. After hearing that, it made me want to punch myself in the mouth over how I missed some of the notes." Kaori tried to prod him again. "What do you want to be? Do you want to be some guy who beats himself up time and time again, continuing to see things in one way, or to be a free bird pianist who captivates people? Remember this: Music transcends words. By exchanging notes, you get to know one another, to understand one another. As if your souls were connected, and your hearts were overlapping. A miracle that creates harmony. In that moment, music transcends words."

Some time passed, and as that happened, Kousei tried to play to the best of his ability, with Kaori coaching him on. However, it seemed like that all they did during this time was bicker with each other over how Kousei's playing was, and how he still was such a perfectionist, in spite him of being hopeful. For Kousei, such was the fate of him being a perfectionist, and there was just about no escaping that.

By now, it was now 3PM, and Kaori realized she had to be home to check on her parent's business, and headed there immediately. Tsubaki's team was playing very well, and she was feeling good about herself and the team. It was tied 3-3 in the 4th inning. However, some rain began to come down. The rain started to cascade downward faster. After about half an hour of waiting for the rain to pass, the umpires decided to halt the softball game, to be restarted another, more nicer day.

Tsubaki felt bummed about the rain. "And we were doing so well... sad that a bunch of rain has to halt this game. I hope I can redeem myself when this game continues... Eh, that's how the weather can be sometimes." Tsubaki walked home in the rain, feeling disappointed over how the game was halted because of what was becoming sort of like a monsoon.

Kousei stayed in the music preparation room all by himself, oblivious to the bad weather that had just hit the area. It wasn't until about 4PM that he realized he had been in the room for quite a bit of time, and he realized he needed to get home.

Unfortunately, he hadn't anticipated the sudden rainstorm coming, and he didn't bring an umbrella as a result."Oh, my god... How long have I been in here? It's raining like a monsoon out here! I gotta get home as soon as I can! Oh, jeez, why did the weatherman miss the rainstorm we're having now?! Crap!"

Kousei then hastily packed his music player, music sheets and other things in his bag. He now had to race home as fast as he possibly could. Since he didn't have an umbrella available, he had to use his uniform coat as an impromptu shield against the heavy downpour. He was also aware that he to also pace himself in this driving rainstorm.

Kousei had made good time in his journey, when he suddenly found himself at a crosswalk. His mind being on autopilot trying to get home as fast he could, and with his clothes becoming damp in the rain, knew he had to get a move on, as he was now running at his fastest.

However, it was at that moment a passing car, going at its normal speed, drove towards Kousei as the crosswalk sign turned red for STOP. Unfortunately, for Kousei, everything became blurred from that point onward, as he was striding towards the other side of the street, he slipped on the rather slippery pavement, and everything was going in slow-motion now. As the road traffic light turned green, the oncoming car could not stop (as the traffic light had gone green concurrent with the crosswalk sign turning red).

As Kousei slipped on the wet pavement, he found himself with his left foot caught on the car's left front tire. He was powerless to stop it all; as this happened, he let out an extremely loud scream. As this happened, Kousei's left foot was crushed and mangled under the speed and weight of the car's left front tire and wheel, and he had dropped all of his stuff in his hands as he went down.

As he came down to the ground, his head, or at least the area near the middle of his head just above the forehead hit a lamppost, breaking his glasses in the process. The pavement was now covered in his blood, as was his uniform jacket, music player and sheet music; the pouring rain spread it down further.

The panicked driver got out of his car and looked in horror over this horrific event. The driver noticed the blood stained Kousei fully saturated from the rain. He knew it was Kousei Arima from his face.

"OH, MY GOD! I THINK I RAN OVER MR. KOUSEI ARIMA! SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE, QUICK! THE GUY NEEDS HELP!" The driver, needless to say, was filled with major remorse over this unfortunate accident.

Kousei would survive this ordeal, but everything would soon become a blur to him. All he knew was life for him would never be the same after this... and sure enough, an ambulance arrived on the scene to haul Kousei over to Totsuhara Hospital for immediate medical attention.


	10. Torn Up

Meanwhile, Kaori, who was now back at her residence after meeting up with her parents at their business, was out of her school uniform, and had practiced the violin on her own for some time. As she put away her violin back in its case, she smiled happily over how good she was playing. "Each day is another challenge for me... And I feel like my violin playing is making me feel free." She was out of her school uniform by now, and into another green Saskatchewan Roughriders T-shirt (with the team's retro logo) and a pair of black biker shorts.

She then looked at her closet, realizing she hadn't cleaned it in a while. She noticed a medium-sized plastic box was sitting there. She looked at the box and opened it up. _Hmm, a plastic box! What surprises await me inside it?_ she thought. What was inside? Why, there was a Nintendo AV Famicom inside, with the appropriate AV cables, two controllers, and AC adapter. Also in it were 20 games.

"A Famicom? I've heard of this gaming system. It's from long ago. It's an 8-bit video game system. Hmm... I need to focus on my violin though." She became more pensive about whether she should play the gaming system or not. A moment later, she made up her mind. "Eh, playing it for just a little bit wouldn't hurt."

She then headed for a TV in her house and hooked up the AV Famicom to the TV. She looked at each game inside the box, trying to figure what to play first, and then decided "OK, Super Mario Bros. it is." She then put the game cartridge into the Famicom and turned it on. As she played, she actually seemed to be enjoying the game. She played it for about 20 minutes before losing her last life on World 5-1.

"Hmm... That was quite fun. Who knew that this retro gaming system could provide so much fun to me?" she smiled. As she turned off the Famicom, that feeling of happiness would soon give way to great sadness.

As she turned off the Famicom, she saw a news report came on with these words: _Piano Prodigy Kousei Arima Severely Injured_. The reporter said "Young teenage piano prodigy Kousei Arima was severely injured heading back home today at about 5:05 PM today. An oncoming car reportedly crushed his left foot and his head was impacted on a lamppost nearby. He is being kept at Totsuhara Hospital where he is in critical condition at this moment..." Then came a short interview with the driver. He said in a panicked voice, "I feel bad about what happened here! Things were kind of a blur to me! The light turned green and the next thing I knew, I ran the poor guy over! He was running fast, and I didn't see him coming!"

Kaori started to cry. Tears streamed down her face. "Oh, my god... Kousei! Why? Why did this have to happen?! The poor guy! He was for once, looking up about life, and then this happens to him! Dammit, he didn't deserve this!"

As Tsubaki saw this on the TV news, her reaction was similar. "Damn... oh, dear god... Kousei... The poor guy. That is just tragic..." She shed some tears watching the whole thing.

Watari also got word when Kaori told him via his phone "Kousei... his left foot. Mangled. I'm not sure whether he'll be the same." Watari, being a bit braver, shed a few tears, but other than that, kept a largely stoic face. "Kousei... This is tragic. The poor guy... This was just not what he deserved."

That night, Kaori, still in her retro Saskatchewan Roughriders T-shirt and biker shorts, was understandably upset over this turn of events. As she sat on her bed, all she could think of was Kousei. All she could think about was what he had gone through that evening. _Please do not take away Kousei away from me..._ she thought to herself. Then she said, sobbing, "Kousei... You were looking happy, and now this happens to you... Life is unfair. I'm so torn up."

She then cried herself to sleep. As she slept, she had a very sweet dream.

~DREAM SEQUENCE~

MUSICAL NOTE: "Adieu My Love" by Chikako Ishikawa

_人を愛したら幸せになれる きっといつか_

_Hito wo aishitara shiawase ni nareru kitto itsuka_

_When I fall in love, I will be happy, the day will come someday_

In the dream, Kaori was sitting on her knees, wearing the same T-shirt and biker shorts she wore to sleep. She looked depressed, when a blue-tuxedo clad Kousei walked up to him, with a beaming smile on his face. Kaori got up and stopped being depressed. Her T-shirt and shorts became a nice, beautiful white dress.

_心のキャンバスあなたの姿 _

_映し出すその髪も 微笑みも_

_Kokoro no KYANBASU anata no sugata utsushidasu_

_Sono kami mo hohoemi mo_

_In the canvas of my heart, is your figure shining forth_

_Your hair and your smile_

As Kaori's clothes changed, the scene shifted to a ballroom. They could be seen dancing happily, like they were two star-crossed lovers. It was a lovely scene, just the two of them in a ballroom.

_都会のジャングル哀しみを抱いて夜のしじま_

_眠れない日には遠く潮騒風にのり耳もとに響く・・・・・_

_Tokai no JANGURU kanashimi wo daite yoru no shijima_

_Nemurenai hi ni wa tooku shiosai kaze ni nori mimi moto ni hibiku..._

_In this urban jungle, sadness embraces all in the silence of the night _

_On days when I cannot sleep, I send my heart far away, riding on the wind, to whisper into your ear... _

Their dancing really made them feel like they were really one. Such a sweet dream, and Kaori even knew she was feeling a bit of love about all this.

_I love you__・・・・・昔のアダムとイブが_

_I love you__・・・・・想いを伝えた言葉_

_I love you__・・・・・__mukashi no ADAMUtoIBU ga _

_I love you__・・・・・__omoi wo tsutaeta kotoba_

_I love you... Like Adam and Eve from time long ago _

_I love you... If only I can tell you how I feel _

Kousei and Kaori continued their ballroom dance. The two suddenly felt a mutual fondness for each other as they continued dancing.

_今だけは目を閉じてこの胸にそっと・・・・・_

_Imadake wa mewotojite kono mune ni sotto__・・・・・_

_Just for now, close your eyes, and lean on my chest softly _

The two stopped dancing, and then went to a courtyard nearby in this fantasy world. Kousei smiled "Aah, dancing. What a wonderful thing, huh?" Kaori smiled at him. "You are wonderful, Kousei."

_両手いっぱいの幸せを摘んで あの窓辺に_

_心を消されて再びめぐり逢えたら わかるだろう・・・・・_

_Ryoute-ippai no shiawase wo tsunde ano madobe ni _

_Kokoro wo kesa rete futatabi meguriaetara wakarudarou..._

_I want to be by your side, gathering happiness on that windowsill _

_In the café of my heart, If I see you again, we'll know it's true..._

The two then embraced each other in a nice hug. "I adore you, Kaori." Kaori said to Kousei. "I adore you too, Kousei." Just then, Kaori woke up, ending the dream.

~END DREAM SEQUENCE~

As she woke up, she realized that her shirt had been stained with her tears. It was quite damp. "My, that was a sweet dream... that felt all too real." She turned on her phone. It was Tsubaki.

She gave her an update on Kousei. "Kousei Arima, thanks to some immediate medical attention, will survive; it was determined the impact on his head was not as bad as initially feared; however, his left foot is another story." Kaori then texted her "Thank goodness he's doing okay... what about his left foot?" Tsubaki then responded with "Sadly, it was severely damaged. It was not able to be saved, and as a result, the doctors had to amputate his left foot."

Kaori then called Tsubaki. "Hi, Tsubaki." Tsubaki said "Yeah, they're reporting on the news now that Kousei is doing a bit better, if you can call having your left foot badly damaged and hitting your head on a lamppost any improvement." Kaori replied: "I see. When can we see him?" Tsubaki said "I think they said in a couple of days. They're trying to still work on him, and like I said, his left foot was unsalvageable. It was considerably damaged by the weight of the wheel of the car he got run over." "Okay."

Kaori ended the conversation. She sighed, but despite what Kousei went through, he would be okay, although his left foot would have to be amputated. She wondered to herself what would become of Kousei after this ordeal... thinking to herself _Why? Why did this have to happen to him...? I hope that he, somehow can find his way back..._

She got into her school uniform and headed to Sumiya Junior High. Kaori walked to the school, with an umbrella in hand, feeling very broken about what had happened to Kousei. The school would be awfully quiet on this rainy day...


	11. Day Sumiya Stood Still-Father's Pride

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 18, 2019

CONTENT WARNING: Gruesome Account of Kousei's Injury

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CHAPTER 11: THE DAY SUMIYA JUNIOR HIGH STOOD STILL/A FATHER'S CONCERN

_As many of you are aware, our own Mr. Kousei Arima was involved in a freak accident yesterday. He is currently at Totsuhara Hospital at this time, and he is still recovering from all this. Our hearts go out to Mr. Arima during this tough time._

Sumiya Junior High School had largely fallen silent on this rainy day, April 17. So much worry about Kousei over his accident, and the clouds were gray with rain pouring down. Watari's soccer match for the day was delayed due to the rainy, nigh unplayable field. But that was the least of his worries, as Kousei's injury had put a damper on everything. The atmosphere was very gloomy.

Kaori was all alone in the Music Preparation Room, sitting on the piano bench forlornly where Kousei normally would be. "This whole thing sucks!" Kaori said in frustration. Tsubaki and Watari soon entered, and they had a little talk about the current state of affairs.

"Hi, Tsubaki, Watari. How is Kousei doing?" Tsubaki brought her up to speed. "Okay, guys, here's what I know so far. Kousei's left foot is beyond repair. He also hit his head on a lamppost as he came down. However, they are reporting that the hit was not as bad as it seemed, but he is currently undergoing treatment in regard to that. It's just sucks that his left foot is no longer of any use to him."

Watari sighed. "Yeah, I did hear about what happened to him on the news. This is quite terrible. I feel for the guy... what would possess a guy to not bring an umbrella on a rainy day like today is?" Kaori said "Well, I guess that's what happens when you don't anticipate a rainstorm like that. The forecasters said it would be pleasant and sunny, but yet they were wrong. Won't be the last time they'll get that kind of thing wrong. In fact, when you think about, they're merely just taking a guess as to what the weather will be like on the next day. It's frustrating when they say one thing, and then another happens."

Tsubaki lamented to the two, "Yeah... sometimes you can't help but wonder whether this kind of thing could have been prevented if the weather was better."

Indeed, the whole day at the school was almost tomb-like. Someone had gotten a card to wish Kousei well. Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari all signed the card. Kaori's message was: "Hang in there, Kousei, we're pulling for you! - Kaori" Tsubaki signed it with: "Kousei... we've known each other for a while... please, stay strong!" And Watari wrote "My buddy Kousei... we're all united for you. We love you, please, hang tough!"

Meanwhile, back at Kousei's home, his father, Takahiko, who was on business trips most of the time, had come home after he had gotten wind of his son's accident, and wanted to see him out of genuine concern for his well-being.

One of the doctors phoned Takahiko. "Mr. Takahiko Arima, at 4:45 PM JST on April 16, your son, Kousei, was involved in a horrific accident that had him get run over by car. What we can tell you is that his left foot was badly damaged; the severity of had made his left foot beyond repair. We will need to amputate it."

Takahiko responded "Oh, my god... My poor son... What happened that caused all this?" The doctor continued: "Reportedly, he was trying to run home in the rain, and he slipped the pavement near the crosswalk, when a car came up an accidentally crushed his left foot. Also, he hit his head on a lamppost, but the intensity of the blow was not as bad as we feared. However, he is suffering a few migraines, and we are currently resting him so we can amputate his foot tomorrow; it is, unfortunately, beyond repair, hence our decision." "I see... okay, can I come in in see him?" "Yes, you can, but please remember that we are resting him in preparation for his amputation."

Takahiko went over to Totsuhara Hospital, where Kousei was. It was now 4:30 PM. Waiting for her in the hallway near Kousei's hospital room was Kaori Miyazono, who was out of her school uniform and into more causal clothing- she was wearing that same Roughrider T-shirt with a black hooded track jacket and jeans. She saw the man that was the very spitting image of his son, Kousei.

"Excuse me, are you Kousei? Or at least you look like him." She said to Takahiko. "No, no. My name is Takahiko Arima. I'm Kousei's father." The two shook hands. "Nice to meet you. My name is Kaori Miyazono. I'm his friend." "Pleased to meet you, Kaori."

Takahiko expressed grave concern for his son. He showed Kaori some pictures of Kousei's accident. They were quite gruesome: Namely, his left foot was shown severely mangled, he had developed a contusion where Kousei had hit his head on the lamppost, and lastly,

Takahiko showed her a picture of Kousei on the stretcher with an oxygen mask, unconscious.

Kaori teared up. "Oh, good god... This is terrible, terrible! He was trying to get home and he was unaware of the fact that it was going to rain..." Takahiko sighed.

"Yes, Kaori. That is what happened, my son slipped and fell on the pavement and then the oncoming car hit him. I'm a very sad father right now... My poor son, in such grave danger!" Kaori said, tearfully, "I hear you very well..." They just looked at Kousei, resting up, with his badly damaged left foot bandaged up, and being prepared for amputation. "I can't bear to look at him like that, Takahiko..." Takahiko sighed and nodded. "Neither can I."

One of the doctors came up to the two. "Mr. Arima, you son is doing a bit better, in regard to what happened to him. We will obviously have to amputate his left foot, and the hit to the head he sustained; he still has some contusions, but it was not as bad as we first thought. However, he will experience migraines in the days to come. Thanks to the fact an ambulance came to him immediately, and he was near the hospital, he will most definitely survive this ordeal." Takahiko sighed. "I see... well, it is sort of a relief that he will be okay... but man, that left foot... tragic." Kaori nodded. "True, true... but at least we can breathe easy about Kousei... for now."

The two later left the hospital, and both later calmed down. Takahiko asked Kaori something.

"By the way... How long have you known Kousei?" Kaori said "About a few months? Maybe a few years, I don't know. My memory's a bit hazy." "I see... you know, we share our concern with Kousei. I have to head home. It was nice talking to you. I hope we can see each other again."

The two shook hands. "Same here. Thank you for this talk, Mr. Arima." "No problem." As Takahiko went back home, Kaori went back to her home, trying to get her mind off what had happened to Kousei by playing the violin. Before she did this, she took her coat off and sat down on her bed. She got out her violin out of its case and got out its bow.

Kaori took a deep breath. "OK... I can't let Kousei get to me. All I know is that he will be alright, despite what happened to his foot. Here I go." She got out some sheet music, playing a generic violin piece.

She was playing well at first, but then her fingers fumbled on the bow, causing her to play off-key. She was alarmed by this development and stopped playing to assess her situation. "Did... did... I forget how to play the violin?" she said in a somewhat concerned tone of voice at first.

She tried to get her mind back together. "Okay, Kaori... get yourself together, try it again. try it again... it must be a phase, and nothing more..." She then shrugged it off as she said this, and then started playing more beautifully, just as she had for so long now. "Ah, there we go, I can still make the notes so well with my fingers. What a relief. False alarm..."

As she finished, she then got out her AV Famicom out of its box once more. She seemed to be enjoying the vintage video game machine. "Well, let's go play the Famicom again. What game should I play now?" She got out one game, Rockman (EDITOR'S NOTE: Known as Mega Man in North America; she's playing the first game in the series).

"Hmm... Rockman. Alright, let's give that a try." She played the game, but after 30 minutes, got a little frustrated after defeating only 3 out of the 6 robot masters in the game. "Yikes... Who knew this game could be so hard?" She wondered. She spent the remainder of the day trying to keep her mind at ease playing the Famicom. Even though she was supposed to be focused on her violin, the Famicom seemed to be doing a bit more of a better job at keeping her mind stable.


	12. Blurred-Everything's on Fire!

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 18, 2019

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CHAPTER 12: BLURRED/'EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE!"

It was April 20. By now, the rains that had poured on Tokyo had subsided. Four days had passed since Kousei's accident, and two since his left foot had been amputated. Kousei finally woke up after being sedated for a while. He couldn't quite remember the events prior to the collision; it was all vague to him. A male nurse came up to him and talked to him; Kousei was also bare-chested on the bed.

The nurse said, "Kousei? How are you doing?" Kousei said, in a somewhat pained tone of voice "What happened? All I can remember was I was walking home, it was sunny at first, then a driving rainstorm came, then a veering car ran over me, and everything went dark."

Kousei then looked at himself. He noticed the stump on his left leg, where his now-missing left foot was; it had been amputated two days earlier.

He looked in shock "What... What!? Oh, jeez! My left foot! What happened to it?!" he said in a sort of panicked voice. "Mr. Arima... your left foot was crushed by the oncoming vehicle. Tragically, due to the extreme severity of the injury, your left foot could not be saved. We had to surgically amputate it two days ago, I'm sorry to say."

Kousei said "Oh, damn... this sucks!" Kousei burst into tears after realizing his left foot was no more. He feared that he could never walk right again. "What... did I do to deserve this? I can't believe it... my left foot, gone!"

However, it was right then and there that the nurse reassured him. "Fortunately, my doctors have told me we can give you a prosthetic foot. You will need to stay with us for another day so you can get acclimated to it." Kousei then calmly, and as he immediately stopped shedding his tears, said "Oh, thank goodness... not all is lost. Just when I thought things were lost, this will help me out... my head... it still feels tender..."

Just then, the migraines, a side effect from that impact on his head, came in at full force. "Migraine... MIGRAINE... MIGRAINE!" The nurse game him a painkiller pill. "Oh, Mr. Arima, you also hit your head pretty hard on a lamppost. This is why you're having the migraines." Kousei calmed down for a bit. "I see. Everything around me... has become all blurred... I hope this will pass. By the way, what happened to my glasses?"

Kousei had broken his glasses in the impact, and his vision was blurred. Thankfully, the nurse handed him his spare pair. He put them on "Oh, this is much better... It's a good thing that I have a spare." The nurse added "Kousei, your glasses were broken on impact. However, your father was nice enough to find an extra pair, so we brought them to you."

Just then, Kousei's phone came on. It was Kaori. She asked him via text, _Kousei... You there?_ He replied _Yes, Kaori. I'm fully awake now, but yet my head is tender. I hope to see you guys again soon!_ Kaori replied to his message: _We hope to see you later today, I hope!_ Kousei let out a bit of a smile. "My friend... She's out there, looking out for me."

The nurse got out his music player, which had since been cleaned. It was still working. Kousei then decided, still feeling a bit bummed about his missing left foot, played a song that was sort of unusual to his classical musical trappings: The 1969 R&B song "Going in Circles" by the Friends of Distinction. He lip-synched along with the song as it played, as he looked out the window of the morning sky in Tokyo, somewhat wistfully.

A couple hours later, around noontime, three nurses, two male, one female, two of them giving a sponge bath (the male and female), and the third (the second male) applying some shaving cream on his face, with a shaving razor in hand, got to work on the dazed Kousei. The two attending nurses worked vigorously around Kousei, with the third one shaving his face, this so he doesn't cut his face, either accidentally or otherwise.

Just as the third attending nurse finished shaving his face and wiped off the excess shaving cream on his face, could feel a burning sensation of skin irritation radiating around his body. It was as if his whole body had become engulfed in flames, which caused him to yell loudly in pain "OH, GOD, I'M ON FIRE! EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE!"

His consistent screaming of him saying his skin was on fire startled all three of the nurses working on him. The nurse that had worked on shaving his face told him "It is alright, Kousei, we're trying to help you." Somewhat dazed, Kousei said "Sorry... Force of habit. Migraine... Migraine..."

The other people working around the hospital paid no heed to Kousei's earlier screams of pain, knowing that the building was not really on fire, and that Kousei, metaphorically speaking, felt like his whole body was on fire, and nothing more.


	13. Still Hopeful-Kousei's Feelings

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 18, 2019

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CHAPTER 13: STILL HOPEFUL/KOUSEI'S FEELINGS

The atmosphere around Sumiya Junior High improved as it would turn out, Kousei would be alright, in spite of the loss of his left foot. Kaori also knew that despite Kousei's accident, there was still time to enter the Maihou Competition, which was still two weeks away. Kaori was also feeling up about things, knowing in her mind, Kousei would be back up and running. She was feeling happy about things, as were Tsubaki and Watari, who, too, were encouraged by the good news regarding Kousei.

As school got out for the day, the three trekked to the hospital, where Kousei could, finally, have a chat with his friends. As they headed to the Kousei's hospital room, they found him awake, smiling, with his eyes closed. He was not shirtless anymore; he was in a standard gown.

Kaori walked up to Kousei and snapped her fingers at his face. "Kousei... Ya there? Hello? Anybody home?" Kousei then got out of his tranquil pose and said "Oh, hi... Glad to see you all here." Tsubaki asked "How are you feeling today, Kousei?" Kousei said "Aside from the fact that I'm now without a foot, okay. I do have migraines every now and then, but they come and go." They saw the bruise, which was roughly the size of a baseball, on Kousei's forehead. Watari looked at it and said "Wow, Kousei... You must've hit your head pretty hard." Kousei nodded. "Yeah... I must've hit my head on some sort of streetlamp, if I'm not mistaken?"

Kaori got out a few things out her bag. It was a couple egg sandwiches, a bag of potato chips, and a large can of UCC coffee, knowing that all he could drink, seemingly, was that brand of coffee. "I got you all this. You seem to like this kind of coffee drink lately, Kousei, so I got you some." Kousei then got to work on eating the stuff Kaori gave him, and he smiled. "Thank you, Kaori... This means a lot to me."

After he ate all the things that were given to him, Kousei then told the three his feelings. He was not feeling as wistful as earlier in the day. "You know... even though this freak accident happened to me... I'm still hopeful. Is a missing left foot going to get in the way of finally seeing color in my life? NO. I'm going to try my best to put on a strong face and try and face my future head on. It still remains bright for me. I know it. Yesterday is in the rear-view mirror... and I have to tell myself I am no longer the human Metronome I was in the past. Everything I do from now on... I am going to prove to myself I am a new Kousei. I'm not going to let a major speed bump like what happened to me get to me. I still want to believe." The three nodded in agreement, knowing that even though this bit of misfortune happened to him, nothing else would stand in his way of becoming a new Kousei.

Kaori reminded him, "You still have time to practice for Maihou. It's two weeks away and when you will be out?" Kousei said "Two days from now. They want me to stay and test out my new prosthetic foot. It's not going to fully replace all my mobility, but it will get me back on my feet... soon. Can I have a moment with Tsubaki, please?"

Kaori and Watari agreed. "OK, let us know when you can have us back." Once Kousei and and Tsubaki were the only ones in his room, Kousei told Tsubaki to come over to him. He whispered in her hear. "I like you... Tsubaki. I love you. But don't tell anyone, okay?" Tsubaki nodded. "Your secret is safe with me."

Kousei then ordered Watari and Kaori back in. They came in. Kaori asked "So... Uh, anything else you want to add?" Kousei said "Not much. Even though I'm still experiencing headaches from time to time, I hope all this can go away soon. Once I get back, I need to get back on the piano, and get ready for that competition Kaori told me about. Got anything else, you guys?"

Kaori said "Um... Not really. Whoa, it's getting late."

Kousei had one more thing for Tsubaki and Watari: "Say, have they rescheduled your games?" Tsubaki said "Mine will be on the 22nd now." Watari said: "Mine's on the 23rd. Thank goodness the rains have passed..." The three finally decided to leave Kousei for now. "Well, thanks for coming. I am still hopeful..." The three smiled at him. "I'm glad to hear that, Kousei. Have a good night." Later that day, Kaori, finally feeling a bit better, looked optimistically at the night sky. "Not even a missing foot is going to stop him..." she said as she went to bed.

Tsubaki smiled in her room, sharing the same optimism. "I've seen people bounce back from worse... And I've got all the faith in the world that he'll pull through. I've known him for so long... And he's been through so much. He'll pass this test with flying colors, for sure."

Watari also reciprocated the feelings shared by the two. "That guy still has his whole life ahead of him..." He said with a hint of optimism.

Kousei, for the first time in a while, rested comfortably. "Let's hope my new left foot will help me out..."


	14. Pianists Motivation-Working His Way Back

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 18, 2019

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CHAPTER 14: A PIANIST'S MOTIVATION/WORKING HIS WAY BACK

It was now a Saturday. The day had finally come where Kousei would get to try on his new, prosthetic left foot. The day began in a metal hydrotherapy whirlpool for Kousei. He started to become introspective about himself again, but his primary male nurse was there for him. Kousei wanted to share his feelings about his life... so far, and what he wanted to do in the future. By now, the after-effects of his accident had been lessened, as the migraines he had were coming in somewhat less frequently than before. However, they still came in on occasion.

"You know, ultimately... my goal in life is to become the best pianist in the world. My motivation is to try and make the best music as well and make it sound right. I don't tell many people that, really, I don't want to jinx that; I'm somewhat superstitious about things. At the same time... I'm such an utter perfectionist. My mother... She made me want to take up the piano. And when your mother just becomes all rough on you, she puts these emotional shackles on you, and your playing just becomes almost like, monotonous, mechanical, automatic, even. My mind tends to be on autopilot when I play piano... but, yet, somehow I feel even that with what I was born to do that... I can't escape my mother's influence. She made me who I am now. And then one day, this blond girl comes into my life... She's unlike me, style wise. Hers sounds like she's engaging in a free-for-all fight. It's quite captivating. But, at that... I think she may be making a difference in my life. I think I've developed a fondness for her. At the same time, though, I don't know what to say, but I have no idea how I tell how I have feelings for her. I don't want to let my other friends down... I've known them for so long now, and to let then down would also be letting _myself _down."

The male nurse asked him, "So your motivation is to be one of the best pianists, if not musicians, out there? You certainly sound like you've gone through quite a bit of hell." Kousei nodded. "Yes... but even though I lost my foot, and even though my mother's gone, it's time to free myself from my shackles. I may be a perfectionist, but I can't beat myself up for that anymore."

Just then, Kousei's phone came on. The nurse picked it up, saying "It's for you, Kousei. I think it's your friend." Sure enough, it was showing that he had a picture message from Kaori. "Hmm... Wonder what Kaori has to show me?"

To Kousei's amazement, it was Kaori, taking a picture with her phone, in a mirror, looking all happy wearing the Saskatchewan Roughrider team jersey. Also enclosed, a message saying _Hey, Kousei! Check it out! My Canadian uncle Seiya got me the Roughriders team jersey! Oh, happy day!_ Kousei cracked a smile, and replied with _You know, you look great in that jersey. Green is definitely your color!_ Kaori then replied back with _Thank you so much, Kousei. Go Riders! :)_

It was now noontime, and it was time for Kousei to try on his new, prosthetic left foot. Kousei was now wearing that charcoal gray tank top with black biker shorts. The attending rehab specialist said to Kousei "What we have here, Mr. Arima, is one of our most top-of-the-line prosthetic feet out there. It's made of a space age material and is used by many Paralympic athletes around the world. We'd like you try it out."

Kousei then said "Whoa... it's _that_ good? To be used by Paralympic athletes? I, or at least you guys, must have picked the right foot for myself here!" The specialist then attached the foot to the stump where his left foot formerly was. He got to work, walking slowly. "I think you might be slow at first, Kousei, but you'll catch on." At first, he tried to keep his balance. It seemed like with every step he took with his new prosthetic foot, he almost had no balance, and he felt like the Kousei of old.

Kousei was undeterred by all this, however. He wanted to make clear that this was not the Kousei of old that was known as the Human Metronome. He would not give up; he remained determined in his mission to change himself. _I am a new person... this accident has changed me, and I want it for to be for the better. I'm a new Kousei, and I mustn't lose sight of all this!_

But, as the minutes went by, it almost felt like he was walking like the accident had never occurred. Even though it had been almost a week since the accident, he was starting to feel confident about getting back on his feet.

Kousei couldn't have felt more better about himself, as he finally became fully acclimated with his new prosthetic foot. He smiled beamingly. "Wow... At first, I felt a bit clumsy without my left foot. But man... this new one... it's almost like I'm walking on air. I do feel great.." The specialist smiled back at him. "Good to hear, Kousei. By the way, the doctors tell you you'll be released tomorrow. How are you feeling?" "Better than I was five days ago... The migraines have become less frequent... Even though they still pop up. Everything is slowly coming back in to focus for me." He spent the rest of the training to walk again with his new prosthetic foot. For him, things went as good as they could get, even though he got off to a slow start with it.

Kousei then got back to the hospital bed, in what would be his last day in there, feeling optimistic and hopeful, once again. Indeed, his friends, especially Kaori, were making a real difference in his life... and he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.


	15. The Power of Friendship

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 25, 2019

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CHAPTER 15: THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP

April 22nd had arrived. As Kousei continued to recover, the softball match that had been delayed due to bad weather was resumed from its previous point; the weather was much clearer with almost no clouds, and the sun was shining quite nicely.

Kaori had arrived to watch the game, as Kousei was still MIA. She was feeling hopeful about Kousei on this day. The game stayed tied until the top of the 7th (NOTE: Regulation softball games are seven innings long), when one of the opposing team's players hit a home run. It was not up to the Sumiya softball team to extend the game into extra innings.

Tsubaki came up to bat, determined to continue the game and possibly win it. She then hit a fly ball into left field, which looked like it could have gone over the outfield fence, but it bounced just a few feet/meters shy of it, and Tsubaki began to head towards second. As this happened, though, her right ankle buckled, and it got sprained. The opposition left fielder threw to second base, and she was out, thus ending the game. Tsubaki couldn't believe it. Nor could Kaori. Her ankle, sprained in front of many, and this was quite the most devastating moment of her life.

One of Tsubaki's friends, Nao Kashiwagi, who was right next to Kaori, was devastated over all this. "Tragic... She busted her ankle. First Kousei's left foot gets damaged, now Tsubaki's ankle gets sprained... This has been a tragic past few days for this school..." she lamented.

Kaori, being the optimist that she is, found a positive in all that, though. "Nao, listen to me. I know this has been a rough few days, but we will endure. We'll survive all this stronger than before." The two hugged. Nao smiled and said "Thank you, Kaori. This is just what I needed."

Tsubaki just laid there on the field, until two of her friends carried her off the field. She found it rather difficult to walk around later that day. As Kaori and Tsubaki walked around, she felt sorry for Tsubaki. First Kousei, and now this with Tsubaki. It certainly had a been a cruel turn of events for Kousei and his friends this past week, and this just added to all that. Tsubaki was shedding tears over all this "You know, first Kousei, now me... Life is just unfair."

Even with all this, Kaori was resolute about not letting what happened to Kousei get to her, or even this setback Tsubaki had endured. "You know, I remember the day I first heard Kousei's music. He was a boy locked in his own prison... Almost like a machine. But even with what happened to him... I'm not going to waver in my faith in him. I don't want to lose faith in any of my friends either, especially you, Tsubaki."

Tsubaki tried to stop crying. "I've known him for so long... And I still can't get my mind off of him and his missing left foot! My ankle hurts pretty bad, too!" Kaori then reassured her. "Even though Kousei may have lost his left foot, I see a guy that wants to be freed from his metaphorical prison, a man who wants to change himself for the better! And we'll be there for him. And I'll be there for you. Come here, Tsubaki..."

Tsubaki and Kaori embraced and hugged each other. The two knew that Kousei's accident was only a mere bump in the road, in spite of its severity. "He has his whole life ahead of him, and so do we. We'll keep on keeping on, Tsubaki. That is the power of friendship. Like that Queen song goes, _Friends Will Be Friends_."

Tsubaki shed a few more tears. "Thank you... I'm glad I can have you as a friend. Even though I've known Kousei since we were children, he's going to be just fine in the end... he's a true friend to me, and to you, and to all of us."

The next day, Ryota Watari's soccer team played its match that had been postponed. However, Watari was a bit more successful, with the Sumiya soccer winning 2-0. It was a bit of good news for the school even after the painful past week it had had regarding Kousei's unfortunate turn of events.

For Watari, it was a bit bittersweet. He looked on after the game was over and thought to himself a bit wistfully _Kousei... you've been through a lot. This win's for you, buddy. I'll see you again soon... a missing foot isn't going to stop you from a bright future!_


	16. A Case of the Yips

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 21, 2019

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CHAPTER 16: A CASE OF THE YIPS

It had been a day since Kousei had been released from the hospital. It was now Saturday. As his father, Takahiko had to go back on his business trip, Kousei had his place all to himself yet again.

Granted, his mobility had somewhat lessened, despite the presence of his prosthetic foot. At times, it seemed like he needed to use a cane to get around. Still, he tried to brush this off.

"Man... who'd've guessed that not having a good left foot could be so complicated?" he said as he put on his prosthetic foot. It was something he had to do each morning, otherwise he would be moving funny with one good foot.

Kousei go on his piano bench. It certainly had been weeks since he'd touched one. He had to get back to work before the Maihou competition, which was now several days away. It was warm, and he wore his black biker shorts and charcoal gray tank top. Before he got to work, he noshed on one of his favorite foods, an egg sandwich. It was sort of his ritual, to eat one before working on the piano. He started to clear his mind and got to work.

Yes, Kousei had been rusty. The fact that this was his first time on a piano since the loss of his left foot and subsequent replacement made it even more of a challenge.

He had picked his piece: Chopin's Etude No. 5 op. 25. Initially, he played the piece well. However, the effects of the blow to the head became apparent when he played a few of the notes off key. At first, he brushed it off as a passing thing. However, as he played the wrong notes more frequently, this became a matter of concern for him. After all, he was once a boy who had played piano pieces _exactly_ as written on the sheet music. Kousei stopped and took a moment to assess things.

"What... what? Oh, dear... MIGRAINE!" Sure enough, another migraine, one of the aftereffects from the blow to the head started settling in. On top of this, at times, his vision became blurred momentarily, and his trusty glasses weren't of any help when this happened.

"Ow... oww... My goodness. What happened? I used to be so great, so focused on playing the piece right down to the button. Now I'm hitting the wrong damn notes. Is this, as they say in sports, a case of the yips for me? I hope not. I need to get back on track."

Kousei played the piece over again. This time, he was almost flawless, almost like the Kousei of old. He played it once more, just to make sure that his "yips" were only a passing thing. They were... at least for the time being. Kousei breathed a little sigh of relief over this. Despite the accident, it seemed like his old self had come back to him. He decided to take a brief walk to clear his mind about this development. He was still wearing the biker shorts and tank top, but took his cane with him, as it seemed like sometimes he'd lose his balance with his artificial foot.

Sure enough, as he walked along, he saw Kaori on a park bench, wearing her new green Saskatchewan Roughriders jersey that she had showed him. It was his first time seeing her jersey up-close.

As she noticed him in his sleeping clothes and cane, she told him "You look like you've been through a lot." Kousei cracked a smile and stopped. "Oh, Kaori... you are a sight for sore eyes. You look great in that jersey."

Kaori smiled back. "Thanks. How are ya?" Kousei said "Alright... But I'm starting to get concerned over myself. I only got back yesterday, and it was only now that I picked the piece that I will play for the competition soon. Thank goodness I still have time..." As he said this, he sat down on the bench and put his cane down temporarily.

Kaori asked him next "How's the new left foot? And what's with the cane, Kousei?" Kousei then explained "It's alright. Granted, it's not as good as having a real left foot, but I get by. I have this cane, because, well, sometimes... I tend to lose my balance." He changed gears in the conversation. "OK. I'll get down to the nitty-gritty. When I first played the piece, Chopin's Etude No. 5 op. 25, by the way, I noticed when I played for the first time, I hit the wrong notes quite frequently. I had to stop. I think this may have been because of what happened to me... these migraines, double vision..."

Kaori was concerned. "You're right... After you hit yourself on the head on the lamppost, you were out cold for a while." Kousei continued on. "Yes, and I've been experiencing migraines, double vision from time to time... Those things. But, I tried to play once more, and my mistakes were lessened. Thank goodness... Do you think this could be a case, of, in sports terms, the yips that I have?"

Kaori started to have a little pep talk with Kousei. "Maybe, maybe not. That blow to the head took a lot out of you. But knowing you, you've recently said you have felt hopeful. Is an accident like last week going to get in the way of changing yourself? NO. You say that you almost never hear your playing, you're just a man who plays everything according to the sheet music down to every last note. I know you've gone through a lot. But music, metaphorically speaking... Is the cure. You are in control of your destiny, and not even what happened to you will get in the way of changing yourself. I believe in you. Are you ready to believe in me?"

Kousei affirmed his vow. "Yes... I believe in you. I've got to know... that my mother, my old ways of just being a slave to the music... Is in the past. We control our own destinies... And maybe we might fall... but maybe we might fly. It's time to free myself from the shackles of my old ways, and into a freer me tomorrow. I know that this case of the yips... this too, shall pass."

The two put their hands on each other's hands. "You have my support, Kousei." Kaori said. "And you have mine, too, Kaori." Kousei responded in return. They knew that yesterday was now just a memory, and that tomorrow would be just beginning... And that it would be a bright one for both of them.


	17. A New Kousei-Past Shadows

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 21, 2019

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CHAPTER 17: A NEW KOUSEI/SHADOWS OF THE PAST

As the day of the Maihou Competition drew near, a feeling of anticipation went through both Kousei and Kaori.

Ever since Kaori's uncle living in Canada, Seiya, had gifted her a Saskatchewan Roughriders jersey, it seemed like all she _ever_ wore when she wasn't at school was that bright green jersey.

As Kousei, Watari, Kaori and Tsubaki gathered around one day, the dispute with Kaori and her friends over the Roughrider jersey came to a head here.

As Kaori looked at the piece she and Kousei were designated to play, Tsubaki looked at Kaori angrily over how many times she wore the green shirt. "Take that damn jersey off, Kaori! How many times have you been wearing that thing lately?" Defiantly, Kaori fired back at Tsubaki with "NUH-UH. Unless I'm at school, this jersey WILL NEVER LEAVE MY BODY!" Kaori was just too attached to that jersey, because she loved it so much.

Watari and Kousei snickered at the two girls bickering like a married couple. "I hope this ends soon, Kousei..." Watari said to him. "But it's just so funny to see those two girls arguing over that jersey." Kousei smiled at Watari. "Heh, girls..."

After Tsubaki and Kaori stopped arguing, Kousei got out the Maihou pamphlet. "Chopin's Etude No. 5 op. 25... this is it right here. That's what we are playing. And there I am, number 265. That is my entry number."

As Kousei and his friends walked around the concert hall, all Kousei could focus on was making the music piece his own and make it in his new "unfettered" style that would carry him forward in the contest. Eventually, he saw two old friends, one a girl with long black hair named Emi Igawa, and another, a guy with wild blond hair named Takeshi Aiza. In the past, whenever they saw Kousei, they would glare at him in jealousy over the fact that he _always_ bested the two at every music competition that involved Emi, Takeshi and Kousei. However, this was not the case. The two gave off sad looks, as they saw Kousei's prosthetic foot.

~FLASHBACK~

Several years earlier, the three found themselves at a "Young Musician's Competition" and were just frustrated over how Kousei's old "mechanical" style kept winning him competitions.

"That damn Kousei Arima. He bested us, and there's nothing we can do about this! He showed me up again!" cried the little Takeshi to the little Emi. "The winner: Kousei Arima!" said the host of the competition, to wild cheers. Both the little Takeshi and Emi cried and hugged each other, realizing that their hopes of winning had been dashed by the black-haired, glasses-wearing boy.

Everywhere Kousei went, he seemed to attract big crowds, even in the early rounds of each competition. His playing style captivated many. It also touched many lives around the world, as videos of his playing was shared worldwide on video streaming sites. Kousei had won the hearts of many young musicians, not just in his native Japan, but in all corners of the world.

Alas, when you become so good at what you do, you are bound to make some enemies. At another competition, Takeshi and Emi humiliated _yet_ again by Kousei. It seemed like no matter what the two did, no matter how well they fared, Kousei Arima would always be there and one-up them. It got under Takeshi and Emi's skin, and they just didn't have high regard for him. They _hated _him.

And what really infuriated them was that Kousei's mother, Saki, always had Kousei on a short leash. It was as if her mother had shackled him metaphorically. And that made Kousei win competition after competition. It also just added to the rivalry between him, Takeshi and Emi, over how _good_ he was.

~END FLASHBACK~

But, alas, given the events that had occurred recently, those feelings of hatred had given way to sympathy. Having heard of what happened to Kousei's left foot, the two looked at him and, for the first time in a long while, _actually_ had pity for him.

"The poor guy, Emi... losing his left foot, hitting his head on that lamppost... he seems to have been through a lot lately." Takeshi said. Emi nodded at Takeshi. "It's crazy what an accident can do. I can't believe I hated the guy... now I have guilt. That unfortunate accident... he truly didn't deserve that." Emi continued "I can't believe it either. He's been walking a bit slowly lately...

Kousei went outside of the hall by himself. He gazed at the daylight in Tokyo, smiled, and closed his eyes. _No matter what happens to me from here on out... Even with my accident... I haven't forgotten what I'll be from now on. I am a new Kousei, no longer my mother's puppet. I don't care what crap gets thrown my way... I'm ready for a new, brighter future. I'm ready for... this competition._

Kousei's friends came up to him. Kaori said: "You feeling ready for tomorrow?" Kousei nodded at her. "Yes. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm ready. I'm ready for tomorrow, and beyond."

As Kousei got home later that day, he looked over the pamphlet. He started playing the designated piece, and even though he worried about the yips coming back to get him, he played it again flawlessly. Kousei, indeed, had every right to feel good about himself a day before the competition. It was also surprising to him, that for the first time, he had actually been felt sympathetic by his two longtime rivals. Kousei took time before he went to bed that night to think about this _Takeshi Aiza... Emi Igawa... are sympathetic towards me? That's something I've haven't felt in so long, if not EVER. But I don't want pity. I want some respect._


	18. My Moment-Pianist's Pity

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 25, 2019

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CHAPTER 18: MY MOMENT IS HERE/A PIANIST'S PITY

Even in the few days that had passed since Kousei had been retrofitted with a prosthetic foot, he still found the going pretty tough with one good foot. At times, his walking seemed kind of stilted, slowed down, even. He didn't have much time to get himself prepped for the piano again for the Maihou competition; what time he had was spent either walking and training himself to walk properly again with the new foot and play on the piano. However, it seemed like his piano playing was inconsistent.

_Dammit! What the hell is wrong with me? I'm sound melodic one moment, then off-kilter the next!_ he thought to himself on this morning, with him being in a partial state of undress; his pants were on, but his uniform shirt was open, exposing his chest. Once again, Kousei found himself drinking two cans of UCC coffee. It was the only thing that was keeping his mind sharp, even as he felt the migraines coming in on occasion.

But try as he might, he would not give up in his quest to play perfectly, in spite of the fact that he no longer had his mother to shackle him emotionally. _I'm a pianist, dammit! I'm a musician! I've devoted my life so far to perfecting myself at this art! I can't just be inconsistent- damn this stupid head injury!_

Kaori knocked on Kousei's door. "Come in, please..." Kaori came on in, seeing the partially undressed Kousei. She was in her Saskatchewan Roughriders jersey, as the competition wouldn't be later in the day. She had her dress ready in a bag with her violin case in hand. The two would perform today, but not together.

"Uh, fancy meeting you here like this." Kaori said. Kousei said "Eh, never mind the fact that you can see my chest, and that I'm semi-undressed like this. I'm just in somewhat of a hurry to sharpen myself after what happened to me. But even though I feel hopeful, I'm still somewhat doubting myself right now... Maybe it's because of the head injury I suffered that's causing me to mess up." Kaori had a little pep talk with Kousei. "OK. Having told you about Canadian football, there's a guy I want to talk about from that sport that I've read about recently. His name is Ron Lancaster, and he played for a long time as the Saskatchewan Roughriders quarterback. People thought he was too small to play in a big man's game like Canadian football, but he played well for over 20 years! There is a saying, Kousei: It's not about the size of the person, but the size of the heart that matters! You have a big heart, Kousei... and don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. You have many friends here, and they'll be damned to see you give up and stop! You've given most of your life on the piano, and here you stand, about to make the biggest performance of our lives! You are my accompanist, remember that... But, you will be by yourself today. This is your big chance. You said you were a new Kousei, right? This is where it all begins."

Kousei was reassured. "You're right. This is who I am... and my missing foot and this blow to the head be damned... this is our time. This is our moment. And it is now."  
Kaori hugged Kousei again. "That's the spirit! Come on, let's get to the concert hall... Our big opportunity awaits us!"

As the two made their way into the concert hall, Kousei found his two rivals, Takeshi Aiza and Emi Igawa, wanting to talk to him. The two now actually felt pity towards Kousei over the accident that happened to him recently.

Takeshi got started. "Hello, Kousei... long time, no see. I can't believe I actually hated you once... Now I actually feel sadness. You poor thing... Getting run over by a car? Man, that took a lot out of you." Emi concurred. "It makes me want to hug you. You know what? Let me do that..." Emi actually hugged Kousei, to which he reciprocated warm feelings towards her. "Thank you guys... I've had moments where I freeze up, can't walk straight..." The two noticed his prosthetic foot. Emi said "So, that's what happened to you, huh? You lost your foot. That's terrible, Kousei." Kousei said "Oh, it's nothing. It's taken me a few days to get used to it... and some days I need a cane just to get around. I don't need it right now, though..."

Takeshi said, "It's hard to believe... how one accident can change the perception of someone who was once your big rival who kept on winning years ago." He then remembered something. "But, alas, it was you who inspired us to take up music in the first place... when people heard you... They had nothing but praise for you. And now people are just feeling bad for you after losing your left foot... And now I feel guilt over hating you. Emi does, too."

Emi nodded wistfully. "Yes... You poor thing. I just hope that nothing bad happens to you, EVER AGAIN." Kousei said, "Yeah. Thank you for the kind words. I've got to get ready, you guys. I'll see you later."

As the three parted company, Kousei went into a dressing room, needing some time to get introspective about himself again.

_What... is it that I can't hear? Or is my brain just messed up now? Ever since the unfortunate accident, it seems like I'm good one moment, and then off-key the next. Is my old self coming back to haunt me? This is my first performance in a long while... And now I'm messing up? Is this sea I'm crept up in getting deeper? Oh, jeez... I think I might be slowing down a little. That blow to the head, I think, has messed me up. I hope it's not permanent... Because if it is, there goes my hopes of being the best pianist out there. I am a dreamer. I am not the automatic, mechanical, robotic Kousei of the past. It's time to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and give it all that you have got. This is the chance; this is the time... To prove that you and Kaori are like Bert and Ernie, Batman and Robin... To prove you belong... To prove that you are a new Kousei! Kaori is part of your future! Make her proud! Make her believe in you, even though you're performing all by yourself today!_

Just then, Kaori came in. Kousei snapped out of it and stopped being introspective. "You've got to get ready, but first I need to see Emi and Takeshi's performances. I'll be performing separately from you today. Good luck."

Kousei then said, "Thank you." Kaori headed into the audience with Tsubaki and Watari to watch their performances.


	19. Emi's Motivation-Freezing Up

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 25, 2019

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CHAPTER 18: MY MOMENT IS HERE/A PIANIST'S PITY

Even in the few days that had passed since Kousei had been retrofitted with a prosthetic foot, he still found the going pretty tough with one good foot. At times, his walking seemed kind of stilted, slowed down, even. He didn't have much time to get himself prepped for the piano again for the Maihou competition; what time he had was spent either walking and training himself to walk properly again with the new foot and play on the piano. However, it seemed like his piano playing was inconsistent.

_Dammit! What the hell is wrong with me? I'm sound melodic one moment, then off-kilter the next!_ he thought to himself on this morning, with him being in a partial state of undress; his pants were on, but his uniform shirt was open, exposing his chest. Once again, Kousei found himself drinking two cans of UCC coffee. It was the only thing that was keeping his mind sharp, even as he felt the migraines coming in on occasion.

But try as he might, he would not give up in his quest to play perfectly, in spite of the fact that he no longer had his mother to shackle him emotionally. _I'm a pianist, dammit! I'm a musician! I've devoted my life so far to perfecting myself at this art! I can't just be inconsistent- damn this stupid head injury!_

Kaori knocked on Kousei's door. "Come in, please..." Kaori came on in, seeing the partially undressed Kousei. She was in her Saskatchewan Roughriders jersey, as the competition wouldn't be later in the day. She had her dress ready in a bag with her violin case in hand. The two would perform today, but not together.

"Uh, fancy meeting you here like this." Kaori said. Kousei said "Eh, never mind the fact that you can see my chest, and that I'm semi-undressed like this. I'm just in somewhat of a hurry to sharpen myself after what happened to me. But even though I feel hopeful, I'm still somewhat doubting myself right now... Maybe it's because of the head injury I suffered that's causing me to mess up." Kaori had a little pep talk with Kousei. "OK. Having told you about Canadian football, there's a guy I want to talk about from that sport that I've read about recently. His name is Ron Lancaster, and he played for a long time as the Saskatchewan Roughriders quarterback. People thought he was too small to play in a big man's game like Canadian football, but he played well for over 20 years! There is a saying, Kousei: It's not about the size of the person, but the size of the heart that matters! You have a big heart, Kousei... and don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. You have many friends here, and they'll be damned to see you give up and stop! You've given most of your life on the piano, and here you stand, about to make the biggest performance of our lives! You are my accompanist, remember that... But, you will be by yourself today. This is your big chance. You said you were a new Kousei, right? This is where it all begins."

Kousei was reassured. "You're right. This is who I am... and my missing foot and this blow to the head be damned... this is our time. This is our moment. And it is now."  
Kaori hugged Kousei again. "That's the spirit! Come on, let's get to the concert hall... Our big opportunity awaits us!"

As the two made their way into the concert hall, Kousei found his two rivals, Takeshi Aiza and Emi Igawa, wanting to talk to him. The two now actually felt pity towards Kousei over the accident that happened to him recently.

Takeshi got started. "Hello, Kousei... long time, no see. I can't believe I actually hated you once... Now I actually feel sadness. You poor thing... Getting run over by a car? Man, that took a lot out of you." Emi concurred. "It makes me want to hug you. You know what? Let me do that..." Emi actually hugged Kousei, to which he reciprocated warm feelings towards her. "Thank you guys... I've had moments where I freeze up, can't walk straight..." The two noticed his prosthetic foot. Emi said "So, that's what happened to you, huh? You lost your foot. That's terrible, Kousei." Kousei said "Oh, it's nothing. It's taken me a few days to get used to it... and some days I need a cane just to get around. I don't need it right now, though..."

Takeshi said, "It's hard to believe... how one accident can change the perception of someone who was once your big rival who kept on winning years ago." He then remembered something. "But, alas, it was you who inspired us to take up music in the first place... when people heard you... They had nothing but praise for you. And now people are just feeling bad for you after losing your left foot... And now I feel guilt over hating you. Emi does, too."

Emi nodded wistfully. "Yes... You poor thing. I just hope that nothing bad happens to you, EVER AGAIN." Kousei said, "Yeah. Thank you for the kind words. I've got to get ready, you guys. I'll see you later."

As the three parted company, Kousei went into a dressing room, needing some time to get introspective about himself again.

_What... is it that I can't hear? Or is my brain just messed up now? Ever since the unfortunate accident, it seems like I'm good one moment, and then off-key the next. Is my old self coming back to haunt me? This is my first performance in a long while... And now I'm messing up? Is this sea I'm crept up in getting deeper? Oh, jeez... I think I might be slowing down a little. That blow to the head, I think, has messed me up. I hope it's not permanent... Because if it is, there goes my hopes of being the best pianist out there. I am a dreamer. I am not the automatic, mechanical, robotic Kousei of the past. It's time to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and give it all that you have got. This is the chance; this is the time... To prove that you and Kaori are like Bert and Ernie, Batman and Robin... To prove you belong... To prove that you are a new Kousei! Kaori is part of your future! Make her proud! Make her believe in you, even though you're performing all by yourself today!_

Just then, Kaori came in. Kousei snapped out of it and stopped being introspective. "You've got to get ready, but first I need to see Emi and Takeshi's performances. I'll be performing separately from you today. Good luck."

Kousei then said, "Thank you." Kaori headed into the audience with Tsubaki and Watari to watch their performances.


	20. Will I Fall or Fly'

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 27, 2019

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CHAPTER 20: "WILL I FALL OR FLY?"

As Kousei got into his blue suit for his performance (even though he had some difficulty putting his trousers on as he had to detach his prosthetic foot to put them on right), some thoughts were going through his mind as he was scheduled to perform. _This is my big chance! All the weeks of preparation and practice... all come down to this! The missing left foot is in the past! I won't get my real foot back again, but this will have to do! Your mother, the way she beat you up like that and shackled you... that is in the past as well. But... will I fall or fly? You've been away for two years. You are back now. Remember, you've been telling yourself for weeks you're a new Kousei! Now, get out there, stop beating yourself up about the past AND PROVE THAT YOU'RE A NEW MAN!_

As Kousei walked up to the piano bench as he was scheduled to perform, he stretched out his hands, and unlimbered. He played Étude in E minor, Op. 25, No. 5 by Frédéric Chopin.

At first, he played well. But midway through the song, his playing faltered. Was this the old Kousei that was automatic but couldn't hear his own playing? He halted playing momentarily.

He tried to suppress his thoughts of his mother, as he firmly focused on building a bridge towards a brighter future. Words like _Your accomplishments mean nothing unless you come in first! The piano is you. If you touch it gently, it will smile. If you touch it with force, it will become enraged. You make mistakes like that because you're drowning in your own emotions!_

But Kousei pressed on. He wasn't going to let his mother's words bother him, or even the accident from a week earlier, or even any more hell that would come his way. He was determined! He kept playing and played smoothly. As he continued, he fantasized him being with Kaori on stage. _Kousei... the future belongs to you. You are the master of your own ship now! Be a good captain... the waters are no longer rough... You have my support! You can do it!_ She told him in this fantasy.

Even though it seemed like at times he couldn't hear his own playing, for the first time in a long time... He could actually hear his playing. And it was sounding quite lovely. Kousei now had a major boost of confidence, that he was no longer the mechanical, automatic Kousei of old who couldn't hear his playing. Overcoming this bout of PTSD was tough, but the loss of his left foot was NOT going to be an obstacle for him, either. He pressed on.

From the audience, Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari realized something. He was _actually_ happy for once. Kaori was amazed by this development. _He's... happy? He's feeling good for once? My goodness, just when I thought he'd lost all hope after losing his left foot, he's doing remarkably well! I knew he was going to pull through!_ Her optimism was well-placed, as were Tsubaki and Watari's. _This is a new Kousei! He's feeling optimistic... hard to believe this was a guy who, a few weeks ago, was a guy who was hopeless after getting run over by a car!_ thought Tsubaki.

Watari thought _The guy has a great future ahead! And he looks great_

A few minutes later, Kousei's performance ended. He was greeted with thunderous applause. Kousei closed his eyes, smiled, and took it all in. Now that it was all said and done, Kousei felt pretty happy. He bowed down, smiled, and left the stage, humming happily to himself _I'm a new Kousei, I'm a new Kousei_...

As Kousei left, the PA announcer said "We will now take a 20 minute intermission for judging." As Kousei changed out of his suit and into his more casual NO LIFE IS ENOUGH shirt, Emi and Takeshi looked on happily, knowing that despite what happened to him over the past month, they knew that he would have a bright future ahead, and NOTHING would stand in his way.

"Kousei is happy for once. I'm amazed by this. Just a few weeks ago, he was lost, but he seems to have found his way back." Takeshi expressed. Emi said "You know what? I no longer hate or envy the guy. I actually have a newfound fondness for him."

Just as Kousei left the dressing room and into the Towa Hall lobby, he could hear the voice of one his friends calling him. "Kousei? Is that you?" she called out. Kousei responded with "Hiroko?"


	21. Hello, Hiroko'

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 27, 2019

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CHAPTER 21: "HELLO, HIROKO"

The figure that had greeted Kousei was his guardian, Hiroko Seto, who happened to be a close friend of Saki's. With her was her young daughter, Koharu. She was a very well reputed pianist in Japan. She was looking happy at her old friend, but somewhat concerned as well over the prosthetic left foot.

"Kousei... long time, no see. You've changed quite a bit. I heard about what happened to you, getting run over by that car. I feel bad for you... But good at the same time that you were able to give a great performance like this today. Is everything alright?" Kousei nodded, "Yeah... the fact I lost my left foot in that accident has changed me. I thought I wasn't going to pull through, but I'm walking normally again... See the prosthetic foot?"

Kousei pointed to the foot. Hiroko said "I see. How are you doing, getting used to it, exactly?" Kousei said "At first, I walked kind of stilted, but over time, in the weeks that have gone by, I feel like it's the next best thing to having my left foot again. My real one sadly got severely crushed by a car..." Hiroko said "Yeah, I did hear about that on the news. That was terrible. I was genuinely worried about you, Kousei. I was just... Stunned that something like would happen to someone like you. At the same time, I'm also happy for you that you've bounced back from this setback."

As the two talked, Kaori was preparing for her performance, with her violin case and bag in hand, still wearing her Saskatchewan Roughrider jersey. She stopped for a moment to greet the two. "Hi, Kousei... Oh, hello, who are you?" she asked Hiroko. "My name's Hiroko Seto, what's your name?" "Kaori Miyazono. Pleased to meet you, Hiroko." The two shook hands and Hiroko said "Pleased to meet you, Kaori. I'm Kousei's guardian, by the way." "Likewise. Hey, I gotta get ready for my performance... I'll talk to you later, Kousei, Hiroko." Both waved goodbye to Kaori, as she got prepped and dressed.

Kousei and Hiroko picked up where they left off in their conversation. "The accident... Tell me how you feel. What happened to you? How have you been since?" Kousei sighed, and then started to talk. "Well, I had spent all day at school, and the weatherman said it was going to be sunny that day. Turns out he was wrong, and it started raining like all hell on that day.

Suddenly, I had to run back home as fast I could, and I didn't have an umbrella with me, so I just used my school uniform coat. Then, as I came to a crosswalk... I slipped on a puddle and the next thing I knew I got run over by a car. I also hit my head on a lamppost as I came down, I was told. It turned out my left foot was so severely crushed by the wheel of the car, so they had to amputate it. In the days following that, I had headaches, slight cases of memory loss, and when I first touched a piano after that, I had a case of the yips. Well... I see doctors every week to check on that, and they said that much of the, uh... damage to my brain was pretty bad, but not bad enough that it would affect my memory. They're also not sure whether I can be as sharp as I was again, but they also said it can be manageable. Which was why I quivered at times when I was on the piano today."

Although the audience couldn't see Kousei's hands quiver at times, only he knew about it.

Hiroko said "Wow... That is terrible. I'm glad that you are here right now, but I can only wish you my best going forward. Recovering from such a gruesome injury can be very tough, and I'm glad you're doing your best in that endeavor."

Kousei nodded. "Yes... also, I couldn't quite walk all that well with my prosthetic foot... Now I'm used to it and I'm managing it well. I still have to see doctors every week to check on my neurological state and how I'm doing with the foot; however, they are saying I am pretty neurologically sound by now." Hiroko smiled at him. "You know... you've been through a lot. But as of today, I'm not just your guardian now... I am your mentor." The two hugged each other. "Stay strong, Kousei... I know you so well. If you can weather this storm well, you can survive anything."

A few hours later, after Kousei and Hiroko met, the results of the competition were posted. Kousei had won again, but he was now a changed man. He felt happy about things. He sat on a bench outside the concert hall, smiling with his eyes closed. Emi and Takeshi smiled at him, noticing how good he was feeling. The two were _actually_ happy for him. They could no longer glare at him or look at him with such disdain. Emi said "He's a changed man, that Kousei." Takeshi said "I hear ya, Emi. He suddenly feels hopeful and happy for once... and that makes me, happy too."


	22. Kousei's Epiphany

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 27, 2019

* * *

CHAPTER 22: KOUSEI'S EPIPHANY

Later that night, Kousei and Kaori, who by now was back in her Rider jersey, walked around the Nerima ward. Kaori was amazed, but in a good way about how Kousei was actually happy about himself for once. "You look pretty happy today, Kousei." Kousei smiled. "Tell me about it. I feel good, exhilarated, even."

He also had something to say about the jersey she was wearing. "You know, I see you wearing that jersey a lot. But I'm not Tsubaki. Actually, I think you look good wearing it." Kaori smiled at his friend. "Thank you so much. My uncle has really enlightened me about Canadian football." Kousei then got back to the subject at hand. "So, uh, about me lately, Kaori. I have to see doctors every week to check on how I am, neurologically, and how I'm managing with this foot." "What have they said, Kousei?"

"Well, despite the fact I hit my head hard, and that I initially experienced blackouts and even memory loss, those have gone away, for now." Kaori nodded with "That's good to know. Oh, I wanted to share some good news. You and I have been invited to a Gala Concert in a month."

Kousei said "Oh, fantastic, Kaori. What is that, exactly?" Kaori explained "This will be a special performance held to commemorate something; in this case it's a recital to mark the heights achieved by the winners and other top performers at the Towa Music Competition. This will be sort of like an all-star baseball game. Oh, and I picked out the piece for the performance." Kaori handed Kousei some sheet music for Kreisler's _Love's Sorrow_. He was puzzled over the choice of such a subdued song for it. "What? _Love's Sorrow_? Why a ballad? I sort of expected you to do something, you know, high energy." Kaori said "Well... We're just in the background, for the most part. So, this is what we're doing. Can I ask you something? How did you get on the piano all these years ago?"

Kousei then said "My mother. She saw me playing it one day, and I got hooked. All this time, however, I was just her own personal puppet... then she died, and now here I am, just a few years removed, and just having met you... I've come to realize... You are my epiphany. It's this something, that I lacked for so many years, that has only come up thanks to you. And to be out there by myself today... I actually felt comfortable for the first time, in like, ever. And just seeing you play the violin... It's really freed me from my shackles. I think... You were the missing piece of my puzzle. After so many years of just being automatic, I felt free for the first time! And you saw me perform... It made me happy! And even with the accident, I'm still 14, for god's sake! I've got my whole life ahead of me, and for the first time in forever... I feel good. Confident, and assertive. And I don't give a flying fig about the fact I lost my left foot... It's only a minor speed bump! I truly am a new Kousei!"

The two then came across the Doryo Bridge. Unlike last time, they would not jump over it. Kaori smiled at him. "I feel proud for you, Kousei. I feel happy. You should be happy. You gave it your best shot today... And it showed." Kousei continued "My goal in life is to be the best musician ever... But now, I've come to realize... I shouldn't be stiff all the time. I just need a chance to be free, even though the music may or may not reach my mother. And now I feel like you're my epiphany, but on top of that my epiphany is to let me be me. I don't care about the past, that's what it is the past. Summer's coming up, but I can't take a break! I gotta keep perfecting myself... because it's what I do?"

Kaori said "We're 14, ya know. You are right. But on that note, summer is coming up, and ya know, sometimes you got to stop every now and then have fun. The CFL season is coming up in late May, BTW." Kousei said "I see. Yeah, I guess you're right, I should stop and have fun every now and then, ya know, because I'm a teen boy!" Just then, Kousei decided to hug Kaori and said, "Let's be friends forever..." Kaori smiled at him a scant amount of tears of joy,

"Let's... I'm the missing piece in your life... And I'm glad we've found each other. You may not always have me, but I'll be around for as much as I can to help you heal... I hope you will be okay." Kousei said "I was afraid at first... but I'm glad you have brought me out of my shell. Today has been a good day for me." The two continued to embrace each other, knowing their future was to be together.

As the two slept at their residences that night, Kousei was feeling quite happy. "So she's the missing like... I never knew someone like her could actually make such a difference in my life... And I feel good." Kaori, as she slept, shared the same optimism. _What a guy! He's happy, I'm happy... Life is looking up for us!_ With the gala being in late May, there was plenty of time for the two to perfect their playing.


	23. Father's Pride-Seiya's Gift

It was now a Sunday, and a fairly warm one at that. Takahiko, Kousei's father had come home temporarily, not just to check on his son, but as he had no other business trips at the moment. Yes, Takahiko was sort of a "free-range" father, but he had check on his son every now and then, because that's what a father has to do, look out for his own son.

Kousei woke up on his bed, his hair messier than usual, wearing his charcoal gray tank top and black biker shorts. His father then smiled at him as he came into his room.

"Hello, Kousei. You've been through a lot lately. How have you been?" Kousei smiled at his father and said "Well... Let's just say I've been in quite a building process since the accident. I've had to see doctors every week to check on myself, both with my nerves and my foot, but I'm managing. They say I've come quite a way in my recovery, and that my blackouts were only temporary. I'm doing okay in that department, and I'm happy to say, I like my new foot. It may not be as good has having a real one, but this will do."

Takahiko smiled at his son again and nodded. "Good to know, Kousei, my son. Need some help putting on the foot?" Kousei said "Sure, please." Takahiko then affixed his prosthetic foot on him, and Kousei was good to go. He stretched his body for a bit, and told his father "Takahiko, dad, I need some time to myself for a bit."

He went out to the deck on his house and reflected on how his life had been since the accident. _So... This is what it feels like to be happy for once. It's a good feeling. My real left foot is history, but I feel good with my new one. This blond girl... wow! She's really given me a big lift in life! She has got the purest of hearts, the happiest attitude... She is my kind of gal! Even the light of my life! My whole world... has changed for the better because of her! But, I don't want to tell Tsubaki about that, though... and I don't want to let Watari down, either. Tsubaki and Watari have been a part of my life for so long, and I don't want them to abandon me!_

Just then, his father came onto the deck, and Kousei stopped reflecting. His father had an egg sandwich and a UCC coffee can in hand. "Here, have this. This should make you happy." Kousei smiled and ate the food contently. "Thank you so much, dad." "Anytime, Kousei."

His father had very high hopes for him now. Despite the fact he'd never get his real left foot back again, given how his son was very happy, his father was happy as well. Kousei realized he had to see his friends. He didn't even bother changing into a different set of clothes; he still wore his tank top and shorts.

"Dad, I gotta head out, I gotta see my friends." Takahiko waved goodbye to his son as he headed out. "See ya soon, son." Kousei began walking around. Takahiko also smiled, knowing that things would be alright in his world. "My son... his future is a bright one. He's the pride of my life, even though Saki is gone..."

Meanwhile, over at the Miyazono residence, Kaori spent the morning playing her Famicom again happily, wearing her Saskatchewan Roughrider jersey again. She was replaying the first _Super Mario Bros._ game. This time, she had completed the game to World 8-4, the last level and defeated Bowser for the 8th and final time. Kaori was happy. "Well... I'm glad I beat that game. That took me quite a while!"

She didn't bother playing the new world, so she turned off the Famicom, and went over the plastic box, looking for another game to play. She saw one that caught her eye. "Hmmm... A Canadian Football League video game for the Famicom? I never knew there was one! I might play that one!"

Just then, Ryoko, Kaori's mother, called her from the living room. "Kaori, dearie! You have another package from uncle Seiya!" Kaori turned off the TV and put the CFL video game aside temporarily so she could come over to her mother and take a look at the newest gift his uncle had for her. Ryoko presented her with a fairly big package.

"It's a big one, dearie... your uncle Seiya really likes you. You also seem to be having a love for Canadian football lately, I've noticed... you seem to be taking after uncle Seiya." Kaori then wanted to know "I wonder what he got me this time?" She opened the package slowly, and inside all the wrapping, was a CFL ball, made by Wilson, in its cardboard packaging. She looked in awe over it.

"Whoa, mom! This is awesome... a CFL game ball! This is the ball used by the league! This is amazing! Wow!" Just then, Ryoko pointed out an envelope containing a letter from uncle Seiya. "Read that, too, Kaori, dear." Kaori then read the letter. With it, was both a letter, and a schedule of CFL games to be broadcast on a Japanese radio station.

_Hello, dearest Kaori!_

_Ryoko and Yoshiyuki _(Author's Note: Kaori's father) _have taken notice at the Saskatchewan Roughrider gifts I've given you this past year. I'm so freaking happy that you like the Rider shirts and the jersey!_

_Life has been alright in Vancouver, however hectic my work schedule has been, and the time zone differences between you and me. Ryoko and Yoshiyuki tell me you've been perfecting your art on the violin, which also makes me happy._

_The CFL season is coming up later in May, and I thought to get you started on the season, you might like this. So, here it is: It's a CFL ball! I hope you get a lot of enjoyment out of this new gift._

_By the way, I saw you ate some poutine recently. I like that stuff; it may look weird, but it's tasty, Kaori. You've got a little bit of Canada in you now. _

_Oh, and there is a radio station in Japan that will air CFL games this season; tune to the Japan World Sports Radio station on 86.7 FM in Tokyo. They will have quite a few games this season; it'll be their first year covering it. The games will air in the morning in your time, be advised, as they will start either in the afternoon or evening here in Canada. I've enclosed a schedule of those games and highlighted the ones where the Riders will be playing for you._

_Well, I gotta go. Enjoy the ball and GO RIDERS! Talk to you soon, Kaori. You are my favorite niece, always remember that!_

_With love,_

_Seiya Miyazono_

Ryoko smiled at her daughter, as she removed the football from its packaging. "I can tell you like that jersey, and now you have a ball to play with. I couldn't be happier for you, Kaori, darling." Kaori smiled at her mother. "Well, a musician like me has to have fun every now and then, right? And, wow, a radio station here in Japan is going to air CFL games this year! Wow! Oh, my, I can't wait to play with this football!"

Kaori then headed outside, elated over her new gift. Ryoko just said happily "My daughter... I know she loves the violin, but she's right. She needs to have fun every now and then." As she headed out, Kaori said is she held the football "It's 1st and 10 at the 25-yard line, and the Riders are in striking range... the quarterback throws, and it's caught by Kaori Miyazono! Touchdown, Riders!"

Kousei walked happily and came across Kaori, who, as she was wearing the green jersey again, was holding the ball, tossing it around, and even spinning it with her fingers. "Kaori? What's that?" He looked bemused over the ball that was in her hands. "Oh, this, Kousei? Why, it's a CFL ball that uncle Seiya got for me. I got in the mail yesterday, but my mom didn't tell me until just moments ago." Kousei smiled. "Wow, that's amazing. Your uncle Seiya must like you a lot." Kaori smiled, "Oh, yes. He knows about how much I like the CFL nowadays." Kousei said "That's really cool."

Tsubaki and Watari, walking around Tokyo, wore casual clothing as they talked about Kousei. Tsubaki said, "You know, a while ago, Kousei said he liked me. Kind of makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, ya know? I've noticed he's changed since the accident. I'm happy that such an incident won't stop him from fulfilling his dreams." Watari smiled "What a guy. From the depths of hell losing that foot to being happy about life today... He's come a long way. I'm proud of him. That guy is going to go places." Just then, they came across Kaori and Kousei playing with the CFL ball.

Watari looked bemused at the two. "What are you two doing?" Kousei explained "Playing Canadian football, Watari, you dummy, what does it look like to you?" Tsubaki then took notice. "Well, count us in, Kousei, Kaori, you Two Stooges! Let us play, too!"

Kaori said, "Alright! Game on, my friends." The four then played game of pickup Canadian football for the rest of the afternoon. Kousei, Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari were having fun all together for the first time in a while, which made the newly confident and happy Kousei even happier. Given that he could now move his left foot as good as his original one, he played with his three friends with such vigor.

As Ryoko and Yoshiyuki looked at the four playing mock football, Ryoko had noticed that her daughter's friends, Kousei, had come such a long way in a few weeks after his accident. "That Kousei Arima, Kaori's friend... my goodness, he's a changed man. He used to be pretty sullen, silent and monotone, but our Kaori getting to know him has made a difference. He's happy, and I'm glad that she is friends with him." Yoshiyuki nodded with a smile. "He's a pretty talented guy... so many people love him."


	24. Disagreements-A Pep Talk-More Danger

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 29, 2019

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CHAPTER 24: DISAGREEMENTS/A PEP TALK/MORE DANGER AHEAD

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: Language, and another graphic/gruesome/severe injury; this is going to be another dark chapter. Reader Discretion is Advised.

As May 31, the date of the gala, drew closer and closer with each day, Kousei still disagreed with her song selection of Love's Sorrow by Kreisler. One day, in Sumiya's Music Preparation Room, things came to a head about all this, with Kousei finally, well, at least sort of, disclosing his past to Kaori. As he played his part of the piece, he sounded rather disenchanted over her selection, and almost played it half-heartedly. "You were playing reluctantly! It sounded like your heart wasn't in it! Listen!" Kaori had recorded Kousei's piano playing of the piece. It did sound half-hearted. Kousei asked: "Do we have to play this piece for the gala concert?" Kaori said to him "What's that? Is there a problem?" To which Kousei responded, "For a gala concert, we should be playing something more glamorous."

Kaori then said to him: "Love's Sorrow, the companion piece to Love's Joy by Kreisler, was written for the violin. There's a piano version of this song arranged by Rachmaninoff, and that's what you will be doing."

Just then, Kousei froze up momentarily, and had a flashback of him with his mother.

~FLASHBACK~

"You've gotten heavy, haven't you? Kousei, this is your punishment." his mother told him as he started beating him senseless.

"The piano isn't responding to you, is it? I wish you would just die! I can't hear! Help me, Mom! STOP!" Those flashbacks of Kousei getting beat by his mother for deviating from the piece haunted him again.

~END FLASHBACK~

As Kousei came back to his senses, Kaori asked him "I wonder why you're so reluctant to play it? Why?" Kousei said and said, "Because it reminds me of my mother. I'd rather not get into any further details... it's rather personal for me." Kaori, not wanting to overstep her bounds with further personal questions, said "OK, Kousei."

The two continued to chat about their upcoming gala performance for the rest of the day. However, when Kousei was all alone in the Music Preparation Room, he _still_ couldn't get himself to play the piece assigned by Kaori. _My mother... she still lives in me! Dammit, I still can't do this! Even though she's dead, she still has me on a short leash! What happened to me, the new, bold Kousei? Snap out of it!_

He pressed on, but even with all this, he struggled to play the song right. Kousei felt discouraged.

That afternoon after school, Kousei's mentor, Hiroko Seto, had a little pep talk with him, after seeing him freeze up, seeing how this particular piece reminded him of his control-freak mother. "Why? Why can't I do this? I'm still bound to my mother. This song brings back nothing but bad memories because of her." Just then, Hiroko told Kousei "Kousei... when I saw you a few days ago, you were looking happy. Now, I know that your friend Kaori wants you to play this piece but give her a chance; she made this choice for you."

Kousei fired back with "Why? Because you think this will bring back memories of my mom? I almost blacked out in front of Kaori today! My mom... She was such a perfectionist, and I inherited that!" Hiroko continued with "Kousei... Please. Give her a chance... you've been saying to me so much that you have changed as musician and a person. I have faith in you. Having seen Kaori play, her playing style is very free-flowing... and you are now. I know your mother means a lot to you, and she always had faith in you, but that's the past. You should have more faith in yourself, as well. She has faith in you, Kousei. It will be fine. Don't give up." Kousei then conceded defeat and said "Eh, all right. I've got to grab myself up from my bootstraps and give it all I have got with Kaori."

That evening, Kousei rode his bicycle to a cake shop. It wasn't any ordinary cake shop, it was run by Kaori's parents, Ryoko and Yoshiyuki.

There was Kaori, dressed in more casual clothing, well, more specially her green Saskatchewan Roughrider retro T-shirt and a pair of jean shorts. Ryoko and Yoshiyuki smiled at Kousei when they saw him. They wanted to spoil Kaori's best friend with the best of their baked goods. Yoshiyuki told Kousei "It's a day old, pardon us, but please enjoy it."

Ryoko said "We've heard a lot about you, Kousei. We know about the accident... which was unfortunate. But we're happy, and so is my daughter that you've bounced back from all that." Kousei nodded and said "Yeah. It's amazing what it's done to me since. By the way, I've noticed when we're not at school, she seems to be wearing those green shirts of that football club in Canada." Ryoko told Kousei "Oh, those? They're of the Canadian Football League's Saskatchewan Roughriders. Kaori's uncle, Seiya, who happens to work and live over in Vancouver, Canada often gives her shirts and Canadian football stuff to her. She happens to be liking the sport lately."

Kousei smiled, "I can tell. She recently got a CFL ball, and we played together a few days ago." Ryoko told Kousei and Kaori, "We heard you are going to be at a gala concert at the end of May. We'll be there to support you; we'll be sure to cheer you on." Kaori smiled "I'm happy about that, mom. You'll be there for us."

Some time passed, and as Kousei, Kaori and her parents enjoyed his company and as it was now mid-evening, Kousei stopped and walked his bicycle and began contemplating things so far. He felt great meeting Kaori's parents, but also wanted to quell any feelings of doubt around him.

_I can't believe it... For so long, I used to play from my mind and nothing more. But Kaori... What a girl! She is here for you now, Kousei! Remember the encouragement you gave yourself after losing your left foot? I somehow forgot that I am a new Kousei, someone who can hear the notes, and it will sound amazing! I have the power... To hear the notes! Just like He-Man, I HAVE THE POWER! TO HEAR ALL THE NOTES! Everything will be alright... and Kaori is the light of your life. Don't forget that! You aren't living in darkness anymore; you're living in light! Things are looking up, not down! Night is now day, black is now white, down is now up! You're going up, Kousei! NOWHERE! BUT! UP! REMEMBER THAT!_

Just then, Kousei stopped his inner monologue and began riding his bike home. He was making good time, and he did wear a helmet. Just then, something went wrong. Midway through, his left foot, which, unbeknown to him prior, had been improperly inserted, fell loose. He looked at the left foot coming off, thinking _SHIT! MY PROSTHETIC FOOT CAME OFF! I BETTER GET IT BACK! _

In an effort to try and retrieve the foot, he tried to go back and loosened his helmet, but came across a large steel signpost, and he suddenly lost his balance with only one good foot on him.

His bike, spinning out of control and gaining speed fast, found itself away from the sidewalk, and on the road. He tried to gain back control, but with one good foot, his efforts were futile. It came towards a steel guardrail, and he went flying roughly 4 feet/1.22 meters in the air, hitting his head on the signpost as his detached helmet went flying as well.

This time, this second blow to the head he suffered was more severe than the last, and he had hit it on an important part of the brain. Moments later, his prosthetic foot, which was situated about 50 feet/15.24 meters away from Kousei would be crushed by an oncoming car, of which the driver stopped his car upon seeing the unconscious Kousei with his head impacted by the signpost. His bicycle was also damaged by the guardrail.

The driver of the car said, "What the hell was that that I just ran over exactly?" Just then he noticed it was Kousei Arima, who had went flying a few feet/meters in the air and hit his head on the signpost. The driver was panicked, noticing the bloodied signpost.

"Oh, God! Is there a doctor in the house?! I think this is Kousei Arima here!" Just then, two ambulances converged near Kousei. Kousei, being unconscious at this time, wouldn't realize that his life, or even his body would _truly_ never be the same again... or that his previous feelings of hopefulness would begin to give way to ones of hopelessness, despair, and later, being unloved.


	25. Two Sinking Hearts

That night, Kaori was back at her residence. She spent a couple of hours honing her violin skills in preparation for the gala. The fumbling of the fingers from earlier just after Kousei's first accident was a minor speed bump for her, as she played more effectively, like she always had for years. She smiled satisfactorily, over her how flawless her playing was. "Well... I'm doing great. Thank goodness that off-key playing was just one time. Kousei... I guess I was worried about him for nothing, since he turned out alright. Alright, I gotta have some fun, though! Let's go back to the ol' Famicom! I know what I'll play today, _Ice Climber_! This should be fun!"

As Kaori made her way to the TV, the AV Famicom already hooked up, she got to playing _Ice Climber_. She played for about 15 minutes, getting up to level 11, before she lost her last life on the game. "Heh... Who knew this would be a fun, charming game, to climb up mountains and beat various weird enemies while you do that? Quite a nice game. Let's pick out the next one." Just then, as she turned off the Famicom and was about to search for another game to play, there was another news story. _Teenage Piano Prodigy Kousei Arima Re-Injured in Freak Accident_ came on the TV.

The reporter said "A few weeks ago, teenage piano prodigy Kousei Arima was injured by an oncoming car and lost his left foot, from which her recovered from. Now today, he has been injured, as he reportedly lost control of his bicycle and hit his head on a nearby signpost, being tossed in the air a few feet/meters. He is being held at Totsuhara Hospital, where he is in critical condition. Doctors believe that he has suffered another blow to the head, this one more severe than the previous one... he will also be taken to the Tokyo Neurological Center for further investigation."

At that point, tears began to cascade down Kaori's eyes. She was sobbing. "Oh, my god... Kousei got severely injured again?! I can't take it like this, I have to see him! My heart... is sinking, and sinking fast! Why did this have to happen, goddamnit?! This... this...is just goddamn tragic!"

Meanwhile, as Hiroko Seto stayed at Kousei's residence, she also saw the same news report. She got choked up and all emotional. "Dear god, my dearest Kousei... first you lose your left foot, now this? My, this just adds to your misery. I hope that you will pull through again... my heart just weeps for you just thinking about this. Your friend, Kaori... I can't imagine what she is going through. I need some time to sleep it over... This is just horrible." Hiroko, who also saw her young daughter Koharu crying over the news, spent a brief tender, mother/daughter moment crying and hugging each other. "Oh, Koharu, darling... this news with Kousei... I can't believe it! I hope he will endure... Come here, Koharu... I love you. Let us cry together." Koharu wailed "NO! NOT KOUSEI, MOMMY! WHY?" Hiroko said "He got into an accident. Our hearts are just sinking for him..."

As for Tsubaki and Watari, since they didn't have any upcoming games, they just spent the day at Tsubaki's, chatting about life when they found out what had happened to Kousei on the TV news. Their hearts sank as well. Tsubaki just sobbed, and Watari hugged her. "Dammit! This sucks! Kousei got into another accident? Good god... this guy... my childhood friend... sinking into an abyss!" Watari began to cry and said "I hope he will be alright, again..."

That night, Kaori once again, like the previous accident with Kousei, cried herself to sleep, and had another sweet dream. This time, it involved not Kaori's love of music, but her new-found love of Canadian football.

~DREAM SEQUENCE~  
_MUSICAL NOTE: "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper_

_Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick  
And think of you  
Caught up in circles  
Confusion is nothing new_

Kaori, wearing her Saskatchewan Roughrider jersey and holding her CFL ball that her uncle Seiya gifted her, tossed the ball up and down in the air and spun it with her fingers. Just then, Kousei, wearing his tank top and biker shorts, walked in from out of nowhere and smiled at her. "Hi, Kaori." Kousei said happily. "Hey, Kousei, let's play some Canadian football together." Kousei smiled at her and said, "Let's." The two played some mock football together.

_Flashback, warm nights  
Almost left behind  
Suitcases of memories  
Time after..._

Firstly, Kaori played catch with Kousei with the football. Kaori was thinking as he pretended to be in the CFL's championship game, the Grey Cup with Kousei. _Here it comes! The play that will win the Roughriders the Grey Cup! _As she said this, Kaori threw the football in Kousei's direction. _Arima reaches up... TOUCHDOWN!_ Kousei caught the ball with both his hands in the air._ THE SASKATCHEWAN ROUGHRIDERS ARE GREY CUP CHAMPIONS! KAORI MIYAZONO AND KOUSEI ARIMA ARE THE HEROES! _Kaori lifted up the elated Kousei who held the ball in the air in celebration.

_Sometimes you picture me  
I'm walking too far ahead  
You're calling to me, I can't hear  
What you've said_

Next, Kaori told Kousei, "This time, you hold the football, and I'll try and kick it. Just don't pull a Lucy on me and swipe the football as I kick it though." Kousei said with a cheeky smile. "I won't, Kaori. I promise." As Kaori stood back a few feet/meters, she prepared herself in kicking the field goal. "And here's Kaori Miyazono's kick... it's up..." As promised, Kousei didn't swipe the football on her, instead letting Kaori kick it with all her power, kicking it with fairly good force. "THE KICK IS GOOD!" Kaori raised her hands in the air after she kicked the ball, and after that, Kousei and Kaori shook hands in elation, and pretended to celebrate the fact she kicked the game-winning field goal.

_Then you say, go slow  
I fall behind  
The second hand unwinds_

_If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
Time after time  
If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting  
Time after time_

Then, Kaori tried to have Kousei play a defending football player. "OK, Kousei, you pretend you're a defender, and I'll be the ball carrier. Pretend you're tackling me." Kousei smiled again. "Sure, Kaori!" As Kaori ran with the ball, she said "Here comes Miyazono on the kickoff, she's at the 10, the 15, 20, 30, 40, 50, 55, midfield! 50, 40, 30, 20... what's this? Here comes Kousei Arima out to get her!" To simulate a tackle, Kousei picked up and lifted Kaori lightly and the two laughed together.

_After my picture fades and darkness  
Has turned to gray  
Watching through windows_

_You're wondering if I'm okay  
Secrets stolen from deep inside  
The drum beats out of time..._

Kousei then asked Kaori to do the same thing to him; a role reversal. "Now you take and run with the ball, Kousei, and I'll try and catch you." As Kousei ran with the ball, Kaori said "And here comes Kousei Arima with the ball at the 20! He's at the 30, 40, 50, midfield at the 55! The 50, 40, 30, 20... what's this? Here comes Kaori Miyazono with a game saving tackle!" This time, Kaori picked up Kousei, and returned the favor from before. Again, the two laughed together at a great time they were having.

_If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
Time after time  
If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting  
Time after time..._

The two then embraced and hugged each other. "Kousei... I hope this feeling never ends." Kaori said to him. "Me neither, Kaori..." He said to her in return.

~END DREAM SEQUENCE~

Kaori woke up the next morning. Once again, her shirt had been stained with her tears. She was all cried out, but just feeling more melancholy than usual over what happened to Kousei no. "Damn... What a pleasant dream. I'm getting worried now... My heart is sinking."

Just then, her clock radio came on. _Be sure to listen to this station, the Japan World Sports Radio Network for Canadian Football League action! Our first game will be a preseason game on May 30, when the Toronto Argonauts take on the British Columbia Lions at B.C. Place in Vancouver! Kickoff time is 8:00 AM Tokyo time! Don't miss it!_

Then, a news report came on._ And now, this brief newsbreak. Yesterday, teenage piano prodigy Kousei Arima, who was severely injured in another accident after a previous one almost a few weeks earlier, has had his condition upgraded to serious. The head injury in which he suffered, was more severe than the previous one, and it is believed that while he will survive, his brain will possibly not function normally again..._

Kaori turned off the clock radio. She was just about an emotional mess at this point; however, she was trying to keep herself together as well. _Hang in there, Kousei!_

She then called Totsuhara Hospital for questioning. "Totsuhara Hospital, who is this?" Kaori said "This is Kaori Miyazono, a close friend of Mr. Kousei Arima's. How is he, and can we see him today?" The receptionist on the phone informed her "He is doing better than when he was initially checked in. However, you will have to wait until tomorrow to see him." Kaori said "Okay, thank you."

That day at Sumiya Junior High was another dark and gloomy day. _As many of you know, Mr. Kousei Arima was involved in another freak accident yesterday, and he is at Totsuhara Hospital at this time. Our thoughts are with Mr. Arima at this difficult time again._

All Kaori could do was just sit in the piano bench and cry softly. She wistfully thought about Kousei all day. _First his left foot, now this? Life is unfair. He didn't deserve this cruel fate! _

Tsubaki and Watari largely left her alone, since Kaori demanded some privacy about all this. They too, felt very badly for Kousei, and they were at a loss for words, like Kaori.

Later that day back at her home, Kaori got back on her violin. She needed to keep herself sharp for the gala, determined not to let Kousei's latest incident get the better of her.

She played _Love's Sorrow_ fairly early on, but those worries of Kousei after what happened to him was starting to get to her. She was now fumbling her fingers on the violin bow, and at times was playing off key. It was happening more frequently than usual. She stopped and assessed her situation. "What's going on? I used to be so great. Then I started to mess up once or twice. Now I'm doing it more frequently. Am I starting to lose my touch as I get more worried about Kousei? This... is so awful! I was so good at this!"

However, Kaori was resolute in continuing her playing, so that she could stay sharp in preparation for the gala that was coming up. "Come on now... let's do this again... I don't want to give up, dammit..." Again, she was playing alright early on, just like she always had, but once again, part of her notes that she played out were sounding rather off-key. This was now vexing Kaori.

"Dammit... I'm hitting the wrong notes and playing out of tune... this, and Kousei... is just making me lose sleep... This isn't looking good for me at all! And just before the gala! Oh, I've played the violin enough for today, time to hit the Famicom again."

She then went over to the Famicom again, this time, playing _Highway Star_ (Author's Note: Called _Rad Racer_ in North America). It seemed like by now, with her playing skills slowly diminishing, all Kaori could do to keep her mind at ease was play the Famicom.

However, Kaori would soon set herself on a path that would be the birth of a sister-like friendship...


	26. Drawn to Each Other in Spring

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 29, 2019

* * *

CHAPTER 26: DRAWN TO EACH OTHER IN SPRING

The following day, Kaori was told that he could see Kousei in the afternoon hours at Totsuhara Hospital. Kaori was still emotionally unsettled over what happened to him. She just kept at it with the violin when she wasn't studying, because even though it seemed like her playing was off-kilter at times now, she would just keep plugging away to see whether her old touch came back, which it did at certain moments.

After school, Kaori briefly went home and changed into something more comfortable. It seemed like when she wasn't at school, all she wore was Rider gear. This time, she wore the team jersey.

As she headed to the hospital, she got some flowers, and some sheet music to help him out when he would be released. Because it was the right thing to do.

Just then, as she got to the hospital, Kaori asked the receptionist "Where is Mr. Kousei Arima's room?" The receptionist replied with "Room 220." Kaori said, "Thank you", and headed to the second floor where Kousei would be. Just then, waiting by the door talking to a doctor, was Hiroko Seto. Kaori had heard a bit about her, being a renowned pianist in Japan, but she had no idea, at least for the moment, how Kousei was both her de facto guardian and mentor.

After Hiroko stopped talking, she turned her gaze to Kaori. Kaori asked... "Who are you? Have we met before?" Hiroko stopped. "Kaori?" Kaori's mind was refreshed.

"Oh, Hiroko Seto... I remember you. I think we ran into each other at the Maihou contest a week ago." Kaori slowly put her stuff down and began to have a conversation with Hiroko. "Yes, we did. It was brief, but it's good to see you again, Miss Miyazono. I'm Hiroko Seto, once again. You're wondering about my connection to Kousei. Before you ask, I am a close friend of his mother's, his guardian and also his mentor. You must be a friend of his, am I right?" Kaori nodded. "Yes, Hiroko." Hiroko then took notice at her bright green jersey. "Sas... Saskat-che-wan... who?"

Kaori then cleared her up. "Saskatchewan Roughriders. They're a team in the Canadian Football League. My uncle over in Canada, Seiya loves Canadian football a lot, and he gives me Saskatchewan Roughrider stuff from time to time. I really love it." Hiroko smiled at the blond-haired girl. "Quite wonderful, Kaori. We can't see Kousei at the moment, but we should take a moment, walk around and talk together."

Kaori put the flowers and sheet music temporarily right by the door Kousei's room. As the two started to walk around, Hiroko began to have a conversation with Kaori. "So, Kaori, how long have you known Kousei?" Kaori said "It has got to be eight years, or so... But it's only been in the past few months that I've got to known him more." Hiroko said, "I see. There's just something... I have to tell you a, uh, little bit more about him, and then we'll get to how he is doing."

Kaori nodded. "Okay, Hiroko, go on. What is it about him that's uh, something I need to know?" Hiroko got started. "In regards to Kousei, as I said, I am a friend of his late mother's. And, here is something that I need to get started with. I knew his mother for so well. Unfortunately, she was very manipulative, and shared a rather bipolar relationship with Kousei." Kaori said "Oh, my! That's just bad... go on... I'm listening."

Hiroko then added "I say this to you because you need to know him a bit more. Saki Arima, Kousei's mother, was such a perfectionist, that this attitude was instilled from Kousei at a young age. He just pushed him to be not just a great piano player, but the greatest out there. I also mention them having a bipolar relationship, in that they'd be loving each other one moment, and then just exchanging fighting words the next. Over the years, she trained Kousei to be almost... machine like at the piano. One day, things reached a head when Kousei found out her mother was terminally ill. He wanted to make her proud at a competition that eventually won, but for some reason, she felt that he had deviated from the score a bit, and just beat him senselessly. It took me and a few other people to intervene against Saki's just, rather cruel beating of him, and that just proved to be his breaking point with him. He said to her mother one day, 'I HOPE YOU DIE!' And just like that, she died shortly after. In the years since his death, he's just been stuck in his own bubble. Imprisoned, even. The fact that he wished that she'd die really just stuck a hole in his heart. That brings us to where we are now."

Before Hiroko could talk any further, Kaori said, adding two and two together, "Oh, dear lord! Now I can see why he was so stuck up early on... I feel sorry for the guy. It all adds up now, why he refused to talk to me or even accept my offer to be my accompanist."

Hiroko continued. "That is correct, Kaori. I've known Kousei for so long. Anyway, here's the latest. His head was rather badly impacted by the signpost, and the doctors believe that while he will survive this one, some parts of his brain have been badly impacted. Notably, I've been told his speech has slowed down, and he is eating a bit slower. In addition, his prosthetic foot was destroyed, sadly enough. He will need crutches until a replacement prosthetic can be found. Also, this is only preliminary, so I won't jump to conclusions, but it is looking likely that he may have the same disease that ended his mother's life. Remember, this is only early, so we don't know for sure..."

Kaori started to shed a few tears, realizing her worries in him were well-founded. "Oh, god... Why? What did he do to deserve this?!" Even at this, Hiroko reassured her. "Kaori... Hear me out, please. I know Kousei is struggling at the moment... But she's told me about you. How she sees you as someone who can finally see color in the world again. And how you've become good friends with each other. I know that this is a rough patch for him, but you can _still_ be the light of his life. You can still give him a major lift. I believe in you, Kaori Miyazono."

Kaori, with tears still appearing from her eyes slowly, but now about to stop shedding them, was reassured. "You are right, Miss Seto... I can still be the light in his life." The two hugged each other. "I'm glad that we were able to have a great conversation with each other... and you now have me, Hiroko Seto, as your new friend."

Kaori just closed her eyes, reassured that he would _still_ be alright, even after this harrowing experience. "I know he'll never be the same... But you can still be his reason for living."

Kaori said, "Yes... Hiroko. I do believe."

The two could not talk to Kousei, as he would have to undergo further care on his somewhat damaged head over the next two days.

As the two left the hospital for the night, Hiroko said to Kaori "We can talk to Kousei in two days. Remember, Kaori Miyazono: Consider me your new friend. We can help Kousei heal together." The two shook hands and Kaori said, "Yes... we can. We'll be there for him every step of the way from here on out." Hiroko smiled at her and said "That's the spirit. It's getting late, so I'll talk to you in a couple of days to check on him." Kaori said "Thank you, Miss Seto. It's been a pleasure meeting you here."

Kaori then got back to sleep at her residence, knowing that somehow, Kousei would pull through. She also expressed a slight concern over how her worries were also slowly eroding her violin skills, but she tried to tell herself not to dwell on it. She was also feeling good about the fact she had also made a new friend in Hiroko Seto, who was sisterly towards Kaori; it would be the beginning of a warm relationship between the two.


	27. What's Missing-Speech Therapy

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 30, 2019

* * *

CHAPTER 27: WHAT'S MISSING/SPEECH THERAPY

Three days later, Kousei Arima woke up once again. However, since this blow to the head was more severe than the previous one, and in what would be an early indication of his possible illness and demise, Kousei found that his speech had slowed down. He also noticed his hearing was only at 75%, and that his sight had deteriorated a little, and was at about 80%, although his glasses, which were, surprisingly, not broken in the accident, were still of somewhat of a help to him. Additionally, his fingers and knuckles were slightly chapped, as were his lips, he had a lost a fairly good amount of weight and was skinnier than before as a result; he had become slightly paler as well. "What... is going... on?"

This wasn't the only thing that had changed about him since this accident. The male doctor told him "Mr. Kousei Arima, your head was impacted on a metal signpost... while you are doing okay at this moment, you are conscious and all, I must regretfully inform you that parts of your brain will not function the same way again, given how they were fairly badly impacted. Try moving your left arm." Kousei lifted up his left arm. He moved it fairly slow. "What... What's... missing about... me... doctor?"

The doctor told him "Your prosthetic foot. It was badly destroyed by a car." Kousei was shocked. "Oh... dear god! NO! What... why?!" The doctor informed him, "Fortunately, however, we will have a new one ready for you within a few days. However, you will have to stay for at least two more days, so we can operate on you. It's nothing major, but it's to help you fix what happened to your brain." Kousei nodded and said softly "Oh... okay."

Meanwhile, Takahiko Arima and Hiroko Seto convened together at Hiroko's residence, and talked over the phone with the medical staff tending to Kousei. Takahiko said "OK, what's going on with my son?"

The doctor replied with "Mr. Arima and Ms. Seto, a few weeks ago, as you know, Mr. Kousei Arima was involved in a freak accident where his left foot was severely damaged, and before that, he was hospitalized with shortness of breath and passed out in front of quite a few people. When we first admitted him almost a month ago, we did some tests on him both times to see what kind of disease he had. You did mention that his mother, Saki, was hospitalized by this disease and eventually died from it. Well, I have some tragic news. Your son has tested positive for what appears to be Friedreich's Ataxia. At first, we thought he had ALS, but even with the positive test for the Ataxia, we're not ruling out that possibility yet. Both of the diseases we just went mentioned are currently incurable, so we can only do so much to try and prolong his life. It is in the early stages but given how he's suffered two blows to the head already, another one will probably accelerate those symptoms, and possibly his death, and at some point, he will lose his ability to walk, eat, and his speech, hearing and even sight could be further affected more severely with time, I am afraid. This, on top of the PTSD he also has. What happened to him a few days ago was bad enough; as parts of his head and brain were impacted quite badly, and it's already started to affect his speech and his reflexes a quite a bit. We will have him undergo a minor surgery in his head to fix him up, at least try and improve his mental faculties, but as we said, we can only do so much at this time."

Both of them looked on in shock over this development. Tears flowed from Takahiko's eyes over this news. "Oh, my god... First Saki, now Kousei? Damn it, this is terrible! I want my son to be with me as long as goddamn possible!" Hiroko, while trying to keep a brave face on things, was equally devastated. "It will be alright, Takahiko..."

She said as he hugged Takahiko. She then had a word with the doctors over the phone. "So, you will operate on his brain tomorrow to correct some of the problems he's had?" The doctor said "Yes. He will survive this operation, most likely, but other than that, we're not sure what the long-term outlook will be for him after this." Hiroko nodded. "Okay... we'll be sure to tell him about all this at the appropriate time. Thank you for keeping us up to date."

Later that day, before the operation, Kousei, dazed as he was being bathed again and shaven, broke down into tears. "I... can't believe it... my life... may... never... be the... Same. Will... I ever... be... okay... again?" One of the male nurses wiped away his tears forming and stopped shaving his face momentarily. Again, this was done, as Kousei's reflexes were slowing down now, to make sure he didn't cut his face shaving, either accidentally or otherwise.

"It will be okay, Mr. Arima. I know how you feel... What you went through was just terrible. We're here to help you, remember that." Kousei stopped shedding his tears momentarily and said "Thank... you." The male nurse that wiped away his tears continued to shave his face.

Even later, the still-dazed Kousei had a speech therapist come in to help him get his speech back to full power. The speech therapist, a male, had an electronic tablet in hand for him containing speech therapy software. "Say this word- baseball." Said the speech therapist. "Base...ball." Kousei said. The tablet then said, "Today is Friday." "Say that now, Kousei." "Too.. daay... is... Friiday." The two worked together for the next hour and a half that evening, trying to get Kousei to speak at normal speed again. It was an uphill battle for him; he _still_ spoke noticeably slower than before the second accident.

While Kousei's operation on May 6, would be a minor one, little did he know, once he found out about his condition, his life would be irreversibly going in a downward direction, and his feelings of hopefulness would give way to that of hopelessness, despite and being unloved. He would try and do his best to hide his true motives from his friends in this limited time he had left existing, so as to not let them down. Kousei was starting to feel like he was on an unstable fishing boat, and that he had this sinking feeling that sharks would come up and eat him underwater. It was an overwhelming feeling... a feeling he could not escape.


	28. Mixed Emotions

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD APRIL 30, 2019

* * *

CHAPTER 29: AN UPHILL BATTLE/KAORI'S SIDE OF THINGS

For the remainder of mid-May and as the Gala drew near, all these thoughts collectively for Kousei, of being tied to his mother (by having her same illness), his slightly slowed speech, slight loss of coordination from that episode of head trauma, were all starting to make a perfect storm for him; while it wasn't entirely clear yet, he knew this was an early indication that he would be slowly perishing.

On most days by now, he seemed somewhat dazed and confused, sometimes blacking out and not being able to say his own name, or more rarely, being even aware of his own existence. However, even with all this, Kousei, knowing the gala was near, wanted at least ONE more chance to prove himself.

Again, his speech therapist would be there to help him. Sometimes, his therapist would play games involving "Find This Letter", "Name This Thing" (in which a picture would be shown to him, and he would type in what it is), and "Read This Sentence."

"Kousei, read this sentence."  
"The... sun rises... in the... east... and sets... in... the... west."  
"What is your name?"  
"K-k-oou...seiii... Arriii... ma."

Needless to say, this was quite an uphill battle for Kousei. The doctors determined he had suffered a light case of aphasia in the second accident, which is a loss of ability to understand or express speech, caused by brain damage. While it was mild, Kousei's medical staff expressed fear that it could progress further if his head were to be impacted again.

Also, on some days, Kousei would try and get his touch back on the piano in the hospital's lounge, which had a spinet piano inside. However, he would be in for a major shock once he touched his hands on the keys.

As was expected of someone who had gone through an episode of head trauma, his playing sounded slow and sloppy. It sounded like someone who had very little experience at the piano. Kousei took a moment to examine this, as he had also noticed his hearing and sight had also partially diminished; the migraines he was experiencing earlier, which had slowly gone away, were coming in more frequently.

_What... what is this? What is going on? Is my world turning back into monochrome? Oh, my god... It sounds like I'm back at square one with my piano playing! It sounds like someone who has little experience... good god, my brain is messed up! Years of experience, training... gone in an instant! Am I really on borrowed time? Oh, my god... my mother... I can't even escape her damn shadows, especially since I have her goddamn illness!_

Still, even though he was coming to this slow, stark realization, he wanted to prove that, even though it could be his last time, he could escape the shadows of his mother. He wouldn't give up on playing the piano. It was his livelihood, his lifeblood. He would press on. He could still see marginally good with his trusty glasses, but he was finding himself squinting more often now. Kousei kept at it. At first, he sounded rusty, but after an hour, he, with all his might, started to play like the Kousei of the past; melodic, lovely, and beautiful.

Kousei drank a cup of water that was right by the piano. He actually felt good and cracked a little smile. _What? I can still do this?! This has got to be some sort of miracle! I guess it still takes me time to get good, despite what happened to my head, I can't hear or see as well before... but I think I can make it to the gala with Kaori and make her proud! She needs me! I don't want to let her down... that's the last thing I want to do with her! I'm going to make the most of this opportunity!_

Just then, Kousei, who needed crutches until his new prosthetic foot was available to him, tried to get back up when his male caretaker propped him up. He was impressed by Kousei's piano playing.

"You've been at that for how long, Mr. Arima? I never knew you'd get your magic touch back after what happened to you." Kousei said "Aaa...bout, oh... 15... years? Nearly all... my life." The caretaker also had a box of donuts right by him and gave Kousei one.  
"Thank... you..." said Kousei contently as he ate the donut. He was eating more slower than usual, and even though it wasn't his favorite egg sandwich he wasn't eating, he liked donuts just as equally.

The caretaker assured Kousei, "You will be in good hands with us." to which he replied with "Thank... you... again." Kousei was also walking noticeably slower than before, as well, as he tried to get back up to his room to get bathed and his face shaven. Much of his time would be spent in the lounge playing the piano, undergoing a battery of tests to make sure he would be alright, and of course, working with his speech pathologist to try and restore his speech fully.

Over at Kaori's residence, all those worries about Kousei were slowly piling up in her mind. As her clock radio played Whitesnake's "Is This Love" one morning in her room, Kaori, who had gotten little sleep on this day, tossed her CFL ball up in the air and also spun it with her fingers just wondering about how Kousei was. She thought to herself as she held the football _Sometimes, I wish the I could forget about the violin and pick up a helmet and shoulder pads... and maybe become the first female player in Canadian football. Oh, how I wish it could come true... imagine that, Kaori Miyazono, star player for the Saskatchewan Roughriders? _Indeed, when the violin wasn't on her mind, she had been also thinking about Canadian football.

Just then, Hiroko called Kaori. "Yes... Hiroko?" Hiroko brought Kaori up to date on Kousei. "OK, Kaori. I'll bring you up to date. Sadly, Kousei seems to be having problems lately with his speech. He's undergoing speech therapy, but unfortunately, given how bad he hit his head, I think it's starting to affect his speech and other essential things within his brain." "Oh... god..."

"However, there is some good news. It seems like at times, he can play the piano effectively as he did in the past. Granted, he says that he feels rusty at first, since he says his eyesight and hearing have both diminished a little, but if he's given enough time, he can play the piano excellently. Also, at times, he blacks out and has migraines, and says he has flashbacks about his mother. I presume this must be because of the PTSD he's had."

"Okay... glad to know he is coming along well despite this challenge he faces." "Yeah. He says he might be up for performing at the gala in two weeks. Of course, he will have to check in with the hospital every week or so, to check on himself, and for speech therapy." "Alright, Hiroko, thanks for checking in on Kousei for me." "You're welcome, Kaori, have a good day."

Just then, Kaori decided to get out her violin once again. The Gala was now closer and closer with each passing day, and even though she seemed to be playing off key, now was not the time to worry about that.

She got it out of her case, and she was determined not to let those worries about Kousei get to her. She started playing, but even though she was somewhat reassured by Hiroko, she started playing some of her notes off-key. "Again?! I'm playing the wrong notes? I know that Kousei will be alright, but why am I doubting myself? Am I getting the yips over Kousei? Get that out of your head, Kaori, everything WILL be fine. I'm sure that whatever it is he has, he'll overcome it."

She picked herself back up again and played once more. She tried to play for an hour, to try and make sure that the yips would not come in preparation for her biggest performance with Kousei. And, in the space of that hour, Kaori slipped up fewer and fewer times, she felt that she was at her most prepared. "Well... after messing up less and less... I feel like I am ready for the gala. Or at least close to it."

She then finished her playing for the day and spent some time with Watari and Tsubaki in a park, playing with the CFL ball again. She brought them up to speed about Kousei, and even though all three knew that Kousei would never be the same, he would try his best at the gala and not let ANY of what happened get to him... even though his fate was now uncertain. The three friends just had a fun time at the park pretending to play CFL football... summer was coming, and they all needed at least some time to unwind.


	29. Uphill Battle-Kaori's Side of Things

For the remainder of mid-May and as the Gala drew near, all these thoughts collectively for Kousei, of being tied to his mother (by having her same illness), his slightly slowed speech, slight loss of coordination from that episode of head trauma, were all starting to make a perfect storm for him; while it wasn't entirely clear yet, he knew this was an early indication that he would be slowly perishing.

On most days by now, he seemed somewhat dazed and confused, sometimes blacking out and not being able to say his own name, or more rarely, being even aware of his own existence. However, even with all this, Kousei, knowing the gala was near, wanted at least ONE more chance to prove himself.

Again, his speech therapist would be there to help him. Sometimes, his therapist would play games involving "Find This Letter", "Name This Thing" (in which a picture would be shown to him, and he would type in what it is), and "Read This Sentence."

"Kousei, read this sentence."  
"The... sun rises... in the... east... and sets... in... the... west."  
"What is your name?"  
"K-k-oou...seiii... Arriii... ma."

Needless to say, this was quite an uphill battle for Kousei. The doctors determined he had suffered a light case of aphasia in the second accident, which is a loss of ability to understand or express speech, caused by brain damage. While it was mild, Kousei's medical staff expressed fear that it could progress further if his head were to be impacted again.

Also, on some days, Kousei would try and get his touch back on the piano in the hospital's lounge, which had a spinet piano inside. However, he would be in for a major shock once he touched his hands on the keys.

As was expected of someone who had gone through an episode of head trauma, his playing sounded slow and sloppy. It sounded like someone who had very little experience at the piano. Kousei took a moment to examine this, as he had also noticed his hearing and sight had also partially diminished; the migraines he was experiencing earlier, which had slowly gone away, were coming in more frequently.

_What... what is this? What is going on? Is my world turning back into monochrome? Oh, my god... It sounds like I'm back at square one with my piano playing! It sounds like someone who has little experience... good god, my brain is messed up! Years of experience, training... gone in an instant! Am I really on borrowed time? Oh, my god... my mother... I can't even escape her damn shadows, especially since I have her goddamn illness!_

Still, even though he was coming to this slow, stark realization, he wanted to prove that, even though it could be his last time, he could escape the shadows of his mother. He wouldn't give up on playing the piano. It was his livelihood, his lifeblood. He would press on. He could still see marginally good with his trusty glasses, but he was finding himself squinting more often now. Kousei kept at it. At first, he sounded rusty, but after an hour, he, with all his might, started to play like the Kousei of the past; melodic, lovely, and beautiful.

Kousei drank a cup of water that was right by the piano. He actually felt good and cracked a little smile. _What? I can still do this?! This has got to be some sort of miracle! I guess it still takes me time to get good, despite what happened to my head, I can't hear or see as well before... but I think I can make it to the gala with Kaori and make her proud! She needs me! I don't want to let her down... that's the last thing I want to do with her! I'm going to make the most of this opportunity!_

Just then, Kousei, who needed crutches until his new prosthetic foot was available to him, tried to get back up when his male caretaker propped him up. He was impressed by Kousei's piano playing.

"You've been at that for how long, Mr. Arima? I never knew you'd get your magic touch back after what happened to you." Kousei said "Aaa...bout, oh... 15... years? Nearly all... my life." The caretaker also had a box of donuts right by him and gave Kousei one.  
"Thank... you..." said Kousei contently as he ate the donut. He was eating more slower than usual, and even though it wasn't his favorite egg sandwich he wasn't eating, he liked donuts just as equally.

The caretaker assured Kousei, "You will be in good hands with us." to which he replied with "Thank... you... again." Kousei was also walking noticeably slower than before, as well, as he tried to get back up to his room to get bathed and his face shaven. Much of his time would be spent in the lounge playing the piano, undergoing a battery of tests to make sure he would be alright, and of course, working with his speech pathologist to try and restore his speech fully.

Over at Kaori's residence, all those worries about Kousei were slowly piling up in her mind. As her clock radio played Whitesnake's "Is This Love" one morning in her room, Kaori, who had gotten little sleep on this day, tossed her CFL ball up in the air and also spun it with her fingers just wondering about how Kousei was. She thought to herself as she held the football _Sometimes, I wish the I could forget about the violin and pick up a helmet and shoulder pads... and maybe become the first female player in Canadian football. Oh, how I wish it could come true... imagine that, Kaori Miyazono, star player for the Saskatchewan Roughriders? _Indeed, when the violin wasn't on her mind, she had been also thinking about Canadian football.

Just then, Hiroko called Kaori. "Yes... Hiroko?" Hiroko brought Kaori up to date on Kousei. "OK, Kaori. I'll bring you up to date. Sadly, Kousei seems to be having problems lately with his speech. He's undergoing speech therapy, but unfortunately, given how bad he hit his head, I think it's starting to affect his speech and other essential things within his brain." "Oh... god..."

"However, there is some good news. It seems like at times, he can play the piano effectively as he did in the past. Granted, he says that he feels rusty at first, since he says his eyesight and hearing have both diminished a little, but if he's given enough time, he can play the piano excellently. Also, at times, he blacks out and has migraines, and says he has flashbacks about his mother. I presume this must be because of the PTSD he's had."

"Okay... glad to know he is coming along well despite this challenge he faces." "Yeah. He says he might be up for performing at the gala in two weeks. Of course, he will have to check in with the hospital every week or so, to check on himself, and for speech therapy." "Alright, Hiroko, thanks for checking in on Kousei for me." "You're welcome, Kaori, have a good day."

Just then, Kaori decided to get out her violin once again. The Gala was now closer and closer with each passing day, and even though she seemed to be playing off key, now was not the time to worry about that.

She got it out of her case, and she was determined not to let those worries about Kousei get to her. She started playing, but even though she was somewhat reassured by Hiroko, she started playing some of her notes off-key. "Again?! I'm playing the wrong notes? I know that Kousei will be alright, but why am I doubting myself? Am I getting the yips over Kousei? Get that out of your head, Kaori, everything WILL be fine. I'm sure that whatever it is he has, he'll overcome it."

She picked herself back up again and played once more. She tried to play for an hour, to try and make sure that the yips would not come in preparation for her biggest performance with Kousei. And, in the space of that hour, Kaori slipped up fewer and fewer times, she felt that she was at her most prepared. "Well... after messing up less and less... I feel like I am ready for the gala. Or at least close to it."

She then finished her playing for the day and spent some time with Watari and Tsubaki in a park, playing with the CFL ball again. She brought them up to speed about Kousei, and even though all three knew that Kousei would never be the same, he would try his best at the gala and not let ANY of what happened get to him... even though his fate was now uncertain. The three friends just had a fun time at the park pretending to play CFL football... summer was coming, and they all needed at least some time to unwind.


	30. Nightmares of Yesterday

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 5, 2019

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CHAPTER 30: NIGHTMARES OF YESTERDAY

CONTENT WARNING: Some strong language is in this chapter.

By now, on days when Kousei wasn't at the hospital for his battery of tests, getting his brain checked, taking his medications, or even having speech therapy, it seemed like he was facing a borderline-impossible situation in trying to get back his piano-playing skills fully on a consistent basis. He was having a Jekyll-and-Hyde like effect on him: Masterful one moment, then sounding like someone inexperienced the next.

Not helping his problems was the fact that in addition to having his speech slowed down, he also was moving the piano a bit slower; which was a far cry from the "Human Metronome" style he had become. He was starting to realize his brain may have been permanently damaged by the two episodes of head trauma he had endured so far.

With just a week and two days until the gala, on this day, at Sumiya's Music Preparation Room, Kousei was all by himself. He was just feeling rather listless. He was eating some donuts (and not his usual egg sandwiches) but had them with milk, which was a beverage he liked. He had the usual battery of medications with his condition as well.

As he swallowed two of the donuts, he realized that his sense of taste had diminished a little. "Oh... damn it! My taste... has gone away... a little. Am I missing... something I used to like? I like donuts... but they'll never... be able to replace... what I love... egg sandwiches."

Kousei then picked himself back up after finishing the donuts and milk, and started playing the piano piece that he had randomly assigned to practice. He started playing. On this particular occasion, he sounded inconsistent. Kousei was bothered by this; with his diminishing mind, he took a moment to assess his situation.

"What the... hell? This is what... these damn... accidents... have done to... me? Damn... here comes... another... migraine!" Kousei then tried to wait to see if it would subside, which it did after 10 minutes; the migraines were also coming in more frequently now.

Tsubaki came in. She couldn't believe the horrible shape Kousei was in; although he had his new prosthetic left foot, there were bandages covering quite a bit of his head from the head injury (one could see some scarring from these impacts), and on top of this, Kousei had become noticeably thinner and fairly frail, although you couldn't tell from his school uniform covering much of his body. She, alongside much of Sumiya Junior High were just heartbroken to see him in this state. Even at this, they still wished him well.

"Kousei... a lot of people... they're just heartbroken for ya. I can't believe you're _even_ in this state! You look like someone that is at least six or seven times your age!"

Kousei looked at Tsubaki as if she were from another planet. "I have had... a bit too... many head injuries..." Tsubaki said "You're damn right you've had too many head injuries! You just looked at me as if you didn't know me at all!" Kousei continued. "What... what?" Tsubaki said "There you go! You just said 'What?' to me! See what this has done to you?!" Kousei then said "Oh, sorry, Tsubaka... er, Tsubaki..."

Tsubaki sighed. "Shit..." she said under her breath. "I need to have a frank talk to you, Kousei Arima. This past month, you lost your foot, have taken two blows to the head... and given the course you're going on; you're probably going to have your life shortened considerably! I'm feeling torn apart! It's tearing Kaori apart! It's tearing Watari apart! It's tearing _everybody_ here apart! What happened to the Kousei I used to know that could talk and think well?! Will that part of you _ever_ return again?! I've had days where I can't bear to look at you! Kaori has, too! Same with Watari! They just can't look at you withering away like this! You act like you have been in like, hundreds of car crashes!"

Kousei's withering mind then had a moment of clarity. "What... why? Oh, good lord... this is really... not good. I feel... like... a ghost... at times. In a way, you could... say that I've... been in a... few... car cra...shes. Please, don't tell... anybody about... any of this... I have my... mother's... disease. They told... me... it is... incurable. And what I've... gone through... will likely... accelerate... my death. Is this... what I've... come to? I was... once the... most talented... young... pianists in Japan... and... now I have... my mother's... goddamn... disease? My fate... is now... in jeopardy. I don't... want to... hurt my... head again. Twice is two... times too... many."

Tsubaki began to feel heartbroken. "Oh, my god... it all makes sense now. You poor thing..." Kousei then began to break down and cry. "God... freaking... dammit. Just when... I thought... I was free... from my... mother... I'm bound... to her... forever. Please... Do me a favor... don't tell anybody... about my disease, please. Keep this between... you and... I."

Tsubaki then embraced the crying Kousei and hugged him. "All we can hope is... let's hope you can make it another year... your secret is safe with me, Kousei." Kousei said "Thanks... All I can... hope for now... is to keep... playing... like I have... always done... before." Since it was late in the day, nobody else heard Kousei's secret.

That night, Kousei just sat on his piano bench in his house, wearing nothing but blouse of his school uniform open (with his chest exposed; one could see how he had lost quite a bit of weight from this accident) and his biker shorts, since it was fairly warm that night.

He first looked down at his prosthetic left foot, as a reminder of all that he had gone through the past month. Then, he looked forlornly and wistfully at the picture of his little self with his mother that was on his piano, showing off an award he had won at a piano competition.

He wondered to himself as he gazed at the picture _Mom... even though we had a love/hate relationship with each other... I can't believe I'll likely be going the way you went. How can I make you proud when I have your disease? I don't think I can make you proud at all... I'm fettered to you, forever! And now you're starting to drag me down with you!_

Kousei looked at his frail and fragile frame, then broke down and cried again. "I'm... not loved! I'm... unloved! My brain... is altered! I'm slowly... finding... no reason... to live! I'm slowly... losing the will... to live! All of this... my mom... she's come... back to... haunt me!" The tears in his eyes were now cascading down his face freely, and he covered his face in grief. He cried himself to sleep over how he was coming to his rather stark realization about his future.

All of this was just now just closer to the gala. Deep inside, Kousei was feeling unloved, and was finally feeling, and falling into, a deep depression; this was now one of the earliest signs that the brain trauma was now finally coming home to roost for him.

Hiroko looked with Koharu at the night sky, wondering about Kousei. _I hope he will make a full recovery soon... _Little did she know, however, that when she would next meet Kousei, she would find him a forever-altered man, with his body looking drastically different than before.


	31. Is This What I've Come To'

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 6, 2019

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CHAPTER 31: "IS THIS WHAT I'VE COME TO?"

CONTENT WARNING: Some strong language is in this chapter.

By now, on days when Kousei wasn't at the hospital for his battery of tests, getting his brain checked, taking his medications, or even having speech therapy, it seemed like he was facing a borderline-impossible situation in trying to get back his piano-playing skills fully on a consistent basis. He was having a Jekyll-and-Hyde like effect on him: Masterful one moment, then sounding like someone inexperienced the next.

Not helping his problems was the fact that in addition to having his speech slowed down, he also was moving the piano a bit slower; which was a far cry from the "Human Metronome" style he had become. He was starting to realize his brain may have been permanently damaged by the two episodes of head trauma he had endured so far.

With just a week and two days until the gala, on this day, at Sumiya's Music Preparation Room, Kousei was all by himself. He was just feeling rather listless. He was eating some donuts (and not his usual egg sandwiches) but had them with milk, which was a beverage he liked. He had the usual battery of medications with his condition as well.

As he swallowed two of the donuts, he realized that his sense of taste had diminished a little. "Oh... damn it! My taste... has gone away... a little. Am I missing... something I used to like? I like donuts... but they'll never... be able to replace... what I love... egg sandwiches."

Kousei then picked himself back up after finishing the donuts and milk, and started playing the piano piece that he had randomly assigned to practice. He started playing. On this particular occasion, he sounded inconsistent. Kousei was bothered by this; with his diminishing mind, he took a moment to assess his situation.

"What the... hell? This is what... these damn... accidents... have done to... me? Damn... here comes... another... migraine!" Kousei then tried to wait to see if it would subside, which it did after 10 minutes; the migraines were also coming in more frequently now.

Tsubaki came in. She couldn't believe the horrible shape Kousei was in; although he had his new prosthetic left foot, there were bandages covering quite a bit of his head from the head injury (one could see some scarring from these impacts), and on top of this, Kousei had become noticeably thinner and fairly frail, although you couldn't tell from his school uniform covering much of his body. She, alongside much of Sumiya Junior High were just heartbroken to see him in this state. Even at this, they still wished him well.

"Kousei... a lot of people... they're just heartbroken for ya. I can't believe you're _even_ in this state! You look like someone that is at least six or seven times your age!"

Kousei looked at Tsubaki as if she were from another planet. "I have had... a bit too... many head injuries..." Tsubaki said "You're damn right you've had too many head injuries! You just looked at me as if you didn't know me at all!" Kousei continued. "What... what?" Tsubaki said "There you go! You just said 'What?' to me! See what this has done to you?!" Kousei then said "Oh, sorry, Tsubaka... er, Tsubaki..."

Tsubaki sighed. "Shit..." she said under her breath. "I need to have a frank talk to you, Kousei Arima. This past month, you lost your foot, have taken two blows to the head... and given the course you're going on; you're probably going to have your life shortened considerably! I'm feeling torn apart! It's tearing Kaori apart! It's tearing Watari apart! It's tearing _everybody_ here apart! What happened to the Kousei I used to know that could talk and think well?! Will that part of you _ever_ return again?! I've had days where I can't bear to look at you! Kaori has, too! Same with Watari! They just can't look at you withering away like this! You act like you have been in like, hundreds of car crashes!"

Kousei's withering mind then had a moment of clarity. "What... why? Oh, good lord... this is really... not good. I feel... like... a ghost... at times. In a way, you could... say that I've... been in a... few... car cra...shes. Please, don't tell... anybody about... any of this... I have my... mother's... disease. They told... me... it is... incurable. And what I've... gone through... will likely... accelerate... my death. Is this... what I've... come to? I was... once the... most talented... young... pianists in Japan... and... now I have... my mother's... goddamn... disease? My fate... is now... in jeopardy. I don't... want to... hurt my... head again. Twice is two... times too... many."

Tsubaki began to feel heartbroken. "Oh, my god... it all makes sense now. You poor thing..." Kousei then began to break down and cry. "God... freaking... dammit. Just when... I thought... I was free... from my... mother... I'm bound... to her... forever. Please... Do me a favor... don't tell anybody... about my disease, please. Keep this between... you and... I."

Tsubaki then embraced the crying Kousei and hugged him. "All we can hope is... let's hope you can make it another year... your secret is safe with me, Kousei." Kousei said "Thanks... All I can... hope for now... is to keep... playing... like I have... always done... before." Since it was late in the day, nobody else heard Kousei's secret.

That night, Kousei just sat on his piano bench in his house, wearing nothing but blouse of his school uniform open (with his chest exposed; one could see how he had lost quite a bit of weight from this accident) and his biker shorts, since it was fairly warm that night.

He first looked down at his prosthetic left foot, as a reminder of all that he had gone through the past month. Then, he looked forlornly and wistfully at the picture of his little self with his mother that was on his piano, showing off an award he had won at a piano competition.

He wondered to himself as he gazed at the picture _Mom... even though we had a love/hate relationship with each other... I can't believe I'll likely be going the way you went. How can I make you proud when I have your disease? I don't think I can make you proud at all... I'm fettered to you, forever! And now you're starting to drag me down with you!_

Kousei looked at his frail and fragile frame, then broke down and cried again. "I'm... not loved! I'm... unloved! My brain... is altered! I'm slowly... finding... no reason... to live! I'm slowly... losing the will... to live! All of this... my mom... she's come... back to... haunt me!" The tears in his eyes were now cascading down his face freely, and he covered his face in grief. He cried himself to sleep over how he was coming to his rather stark realization about his future.

All of this was just now just closer to the gala. Deep inside, Kousei was feeling unloved, and was finally feeling, and falling into, a deep depression; this was now one of the earliest signs that the brain trauma was now finally coming home to roost for him.

Hiroko looked with Koharu at the night sky, wondering about Kousei. _I hope he will make a full recovery soon... _Little did she know, however, that when she would next meet Kousei, she would find him a forever-altered man, with his body looking drastically different than before.


	32. A Talk-The Best of Friends

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 7, 2019

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CHAPTER 32: A HEART-TO-HEART TALK/THE BEST OF FRIENDS

_We're getting closer to another Canadian Football League season, and the Japan World Sports Radio is your exclusive place to hear CFL action in Japan! Our coverage starts on May 30 with our first preseason game, the Toronto Argonauts vs British Columbia Lions in Vancouver! We'll air up to 55 regular season games, both rounds of the CFL playoffs, and the Grey Cup game! We hope you'll join us for CFL coverage on the Japan World Sports Radio!_

7AM. Kaori woke up as her clock radio came on. She was feeling somewhat listless. "Dammit, another day. What do I care, the violin is just not working out for me right now." With the gala now less than a week away, Kaori had spent the rest of her time mostly forgetting about the violin, only practicing sporadically.

Even though Kousei had slowly begun to sink into a deep depression and his body had now looked altered, she tried not let this get to her, but this also was becoming a bit of a struggle for her, as she was now hitting the wrong notes more often, and even fumbling her fingers on the violin bow.

She was, emotionally speaking, starting to be on raw naked emotion, running on fumes. She hadn't seen Kousei in days. All she had heard from him was largely information relayed to her from either Tsubaki, Watari or Hiroko. Indeed, since she had first met and befriended Hiroko, they had become fast friends, almost sisterly in their friendship.

Kaori, having worn a tank top and biker shorts to bed, changed out of that and got into her green Rider jersey and jeans. There was no school today, so she was pretty much free. She took a swig of two cans of UCC coffee, and ate an egg sandwich, as a nod to Kousei. This was quick to get her back into a satisfactorily emotional state. Just then, Hiroko called Kaori. "Hi, Hiroko." Kaori said.

"Kaori... how are you today?" Kaori let out a sigh. "Fine, and I'm not just saying that, I guess..." Hiroko said "Good to know. You know, we should spend some time together today, between us females. Would you be up for that?" "Sure..." "OK, Kaori, I'll see you 10 AM today. I'll be right by your home." Kaori agreed. "You got it, Hiroko."

In between that time, Kaori decided to practice on her violin once more. As usual, she got it out of her violin case, and began playing. Indeed, while she had times when she played poorly and sounded almost cacophonous, there were times when the usual Kaori came through. However, on this particular time, her off-key self was showing. Kaori just quit after 30 minutes.

"Dammit, what's the use? I haven't seen Kousei in _days_, and now this guy's creeping up in my thoughts. What do I care? I'll just play the Famicom again." This time, she played three games: _Rockman 2_ (she got up to six of the nine robot masters before quitting), _Metroid_ (she didn't really get that far), and _Super Mario Bros. 3_ (she was got up to World 4 before she decided to go back into her room and retreat for a bit).

Just a half hour before Hiroko showed up, Kaori split her time between walking the _WALK THIS WAY_ line she set up, and sitting on her bed, tossing her CFL ball up and down with her hands.

For her, with her violin skills becoming inconsistent now, playing the Famicom and walking in her room on that taped line were the only things keeping her mind at ease.

Before today, she hadn't practiced all that much in a good long while ever since what kept happening to Kousei. It was, for her, almost like a recurring nightmare; much like the movie _Groundhog Day_, she found herself reliving the same day over and over again. Just then, Hiroko showed up as Kaori finished playing with her CFL ball.

A knock was heard on the door. Kaori knew it was Hiroko. And sure enough, as Kaori went to the door of her home, it was her. "Hello, Kaori. It's such a nice day outside, huh?" Kaori nodded. "Yeah..." She then took notice of her Saskatchewan Roughrider jersey again. "Look at that. Every time we've met so far, you've been wearing that green jersey of that football team in Canada... Sas... Saskatchewan Roughriders."

Kaori cracked a smile as Hiroko actually pronounced the Canadian province's name right. "Like I said, my uncle Seiya, who's in Canada, gives me this stuff from time to time. We have a close relationship, despite the distance. He's almost like a big brother to me." Hiroko said, "You just like wearing that shirt, huh?" Kaori said "Yeah..." Hiroko then asked Kaori something. "Kaori... let's walk together. Let's have some fun, but we also need to talk about Kousei."

The two came across Tokyo's Sunshine Aquarium and had a talk there, about the various aquatic life in the aquarium. Hiroko also wanted to talk about Kousei to Kaori. "Kaori... as I said, we have to have a heart-to-heart talk between us females. Kousei... I've known him for so long. Right from the day he was born, that's how long I've known him." Kaori said, "There's no doubt there that you have known him for such a long time."

Hiroko continued "The first time he started playing the piano, was very early in his life. I played this song called _Idiot Husband_, and from there... the piano became his life. However, over the years... his mother, Saki, whom I knew so well, too, was just very strict on him. As a result, this really scarred him for the rest of his life; in other words, he has PTSD."

Kaori said "Damn... I never knew that he was going through so much." Hiroko then said "Indeed. One day, however, things reached a head when his mother beat him senseless, when just wanted to make her happy. She was just hard to satisfy; their relationship is, what is best described as a Jekyll-and-Hyde one."

Kaori was becoming more understanding of Kousei's situation now; the pieces were coming together as to why he had refused his offers to become her accompanist earlier. "My goodness, Hiroko... that is so terrible." she responded sympathetically. "It was at that moment, that he cowered into a corner for a bit, and when Kousei met her mother's eyes, he yelled at the top of his lungs that he wished she would die. Well, sure enough, that wish ultimately came true. And ever since then, he's been living with these scars of regret; he became walled off between him and his friends. That is, until you met him. He was feeling quite hopeful and happy about things, for the first time in a long time when you laid eyes on him."

Kaori then said "Of course! Now I know why he turned down my offers earlier to become my accompanist... he was looking so hopeful after he finally accepted, though, and even after that first accident where his foot got amputated... But what's happened to him lately?"

Hiroko then told him "He's been coming along okay, but he states that his brain is just not functioning as well before the second accident; his speech has slowed down, his mobility is also slower, he says he can't see or hear as well as he did before, and he has lost a little weight... which is what has gone on so far with him; his cerebral lobes have been damaged quite a bit due to the head impact, which is the root of his problems. As of right now, we shouldn't push Kousei too hard or trigger his bad memories. He says even with all his problems, he still wants to believe, although he has days where he feels emotionally overwhelmed; and that is as far as I will go with that. One thing is certain, though, Kaori: People actually love him."

"I see... the poor guy... I actually feel sorry for him... Having gone through so much damn hell like that." Hiroko then said "There is more. He's tested positive for what possibly is the same disease that wound up killing his mother... but _DON'T_ tell that to him, whatever you do. He's pretty hush-hush about all this and telling him that will break his psyche." Kaori was now emotionally overwhelmed.

She found herself holding back tears over the overwhelming gravity of Kousei's situation. "Oh, okay... such a sad fate to go through... I hope he will be okay." Hiroko and Kaori hugged each other. "Everything is going to be alright, Kaori. What's important is that we will be there for him." The two shared a tender moment of female friendship. It truly felt sisterly, and the feeling was reciprocated between the two.

Once Kaori got her composure back, the two females ventured over to Murphy Fries, where Kaori had poutine with Kousei weeks earlier. Hiroko was intrigued by the dish. As the two sat down on a table at the restaurant, Hiroko wanted to know more. "Pou... poutine? What's that? What is that stuff?" Kaori said, "It's a Canadian dish, and it is French fries that are covered in gravy and cheese curds. But hey, don't knock until you've tried it. It may look weird, but you'll actually find it tasty." Hiroko then said "Heh, sounds delicious, but at the same time, disgusting."

Just then, one of the waiters, a male, took notice at her Saskatchewan Roughrider jersey. "Hey, nice jersey there. Saskatchewan Roughriders! I know that team, and it's amazing that there's someone in Japan that knows about them. You rock!" Kaori smiled at him. "Thank you so much, my uncle in Canada got this for me." The waiter said "Nice. There's a radio station in Japan, by the way, where you can listen to the Canadian Football League in Japan this season. You can also watch games online, as well, but they start early in the morning here." Kaori said "I knew about that. Thanks for the tip."

The waiter took their menus, and Hiroko smiled at Kaori. "You really like Canadian football a lot lately, I've noticed, Kaori." Kaori said "Yeah, my uncle introduced me to the sport. When I'm not practicing the violin, or even playing video games, I read up articles about the sport; it's a little like American football, by the way. He's really widened my horizons."

Just then, the two were served identical plates of poutine. Hiroko looked quite surprised, but in a good way. "Hey, this actually looks good." Despite the weird look of the dish, she was now won over, and began to eat her dish of poutine with Kaori, who had her own dish as well. Hiroko smiled. "Whoa... who knew that something, that I thought was weird looking could be so good?" "It's pretty darn good, Hiroko..." The two contently at their poutine, and just had a wonderful time together.

That night, Hiroko drove Kaori home. The two had a great time together, despite the brief emotional moment. "Kaori... I'm glad we had this fun time together. I think you and I have become the best of friends, in the time that we've met. Have a good night and remember... Keep your head up. We'll be there for Kousei." Kaori nodded. "Thank you so much, Hiroko... I think I feel the same way about you, we are becoming the best of friends." The two shook hands once again, and parted company for the night.

For Kaori, Hiroko was something she desperately needed as Kousei was starting to fall apart: Someone who would be there for her, like a big sister.


	33. Kousei's Fragile Head

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 11, 2019

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CHAPTER 33: KOUSEI'S FRAGILE HEAD

Kousei had a hard time reacclimating back to his normal life, considering how his brain had been damaged a good deal with those blows to the head. With two days now left until the Gala, Kousei had been feeling tense, nervous and even erratic. On this evening, Kousei was trying his hardest to try and get back his old touch. Yes, he was acutely aware about his head problems. His short-term memory was now being affected by it, in that he was now having trouble memorizing the notes of the sheet music, even if it was right by him, as his hearing and sight had slightly been impaired as well.

But he would pick himself back up again and keep going if he made a mistake, even if it seemed like an uphill struggle for him now. He also found out that his head was dented a little from those impacts, and touching those contusions were pretty painful. He played for about two hours, then, not knowing it was still light outside, got out of his school uniform partially and began brushing his teeth. Kousei then examined the multitude of medications that were for him because of his condition.

He was only wearing the uniform shirt, and it was unbuttoned, which exposed his bare chest. Hiroko Seto came in and wanted to have a talk with him at his residence to check on him (Takahiko was away again) but was surprised to see Kousei brushing his teeth in broad daylight in the evening, thinking he was going to sleep rather early.

"What... what... Kousei, it's still 5 in the evening! Are you turning in early?!" Kousei said "Uh... no?" he said sheepishly. He spit his brushings in the bathroom sink but forgot to fully button his shirt. Hiroko was now realizing the extent of Kousei's injuries over the past month: Fairly extensive, first with this mobility limited by the loss of his left foot, and now he was experiencing short-term memory loss, his speech had slowed down a little, he was experiencing more frequent migraines and he had also lost a bit of weight, and while not emaciated yet, was headed in that direction. His face was also somewhat gaunt looking, on top of all this.

"Oh, my god, Kousei, you realize that this second accident has affected you considerably! You're slower now, you don't speak as well as you used to, and you also tried to go to sleep this early! You poor thing... you've become Humpty Dumpty!" Kousei sighed and got on his piano bench. "Ookaay... Hiroko. Yes, I realize... my speech... is slowing down." Just then, Kousei looked at Hiroko as she was a complete stranger to him.

"Kousei... are you okay? You suddenly look like you're an alien now." Kousei came to his senses quickly. "Dear god... my head... it's not... screwed on... straight! Can you... fix it... Hiroko... re-align... my head?" Hiroko then touched Kousei's head lightly and pretended to adjust it. He felt some slight twinges of pain when she touched him on the dented contusions of where his head had been impacted, and when she touched them, Kousei let out an "OW!" as she did that.

She felt very sorry for Kousei after all this. "Yes, it is back in alignment, Kousei. Look at you... you're blacking out every now and then, and sometimes it can be hard to understand what you are saying. Yes, your head is screwed on. But... you do know that you tested positive for your mother's disease, right?" Kousei nodded. "Yes... and now... that I realize... all that... I'm not sure... what I'm going... to do... with my... self. The piano... is... my life. It's... all I... have."

Hiroko then briefed Kousei on his state. "I know the piano is your life. But what the doctors have found, in regard to your condition, is that the nerve damage to your brain, sadly, is irreversible. You have hit your head pretty badly, twice at that. And given all that, they also say that all that is only accelerating the disease you have. You get hit again on the head once more, and they say you will most likely become a vegetable. You've been in, in their words, the equivalent of at least 10 car crashes. And it's breaking my heart. Please... If you can... sit this one out, the Gala. For your sake."

Tears started to form in Kousei's eyes, as he started to quiver. "My... mother... she still... lives within me. And now... that I'm... probably going to... be going... her way... I want... just... one more... chance. I may not... be able... to make her... proud... I want to... do this... for Kaori... to prove... I belong... with her. Don't... say anything... to her... about my... sentiments towards her... okay? I'm...struggling to... read the... music... now. My eyesight... and hearing... are also... fading. I just... want... one more... chance. I may... not... make it... past a... year."

Heartbroken as well, Hiroko hugged the sobbing Kousei. "Kousei... I hear you. I know you want to make Kaori proud... I know you want one more chance... I'll let you perform in two days. Please, hang in there, Kousei. All I can hope from you is that you make it another year. And I promise you I won't tell Kaori. Your secret's safe with me, Kousei."

Kousei started crying his eyes out, over the fact that his mother, even from the grave, was still fettering him, and now his disease meant that the final curtain in his life would come sooner than he expected, and another blow to the head would speed that up further. He was in a state of severe emotional shambles over all this. "I don't... know... what I'll... do... now! I'm just... submerged... in my... own... hell!"

But, even with all this grim news, he saw a very small ray of hope in that he and Kaori would meld well together, despite his own rapidly declining health. The gala was now fast approaching, and Kousei had to be at his readiest for it.


	34. All For One, and One For All

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 13, 2019

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CHAPTER 34: ALL FOR ONE, AND ONE FOR ALL

The day of the gala had arrived. Kaori was fully ready, her mind prepared and focused on the concert at hand. On the other hand, for Kousei, all those things that he was used to as a musician, were now becoming chores for him. Kaori was in her white dress, waiting for Kousei to arrive. She checked her clock on her phone. 11AM. "Damn it! Where is that damn Kousei? I get it that he's been having problems, but to be a bit late like this? That's unlike him!"

_Has my head fallen off? Is it time for me to reunite with my mother?_

Indeed, the short-term memory loss was getting to Kousei. It was the day of the gala. He needed his phone to find his way to Towa Hall, but even at that, Kousei would unintentionally veer off course. The past two months have been a blur to him. His mobility now being limited, it seemed like walking a mile/kilometer was a chore in and of itself. Kaori checked her clock again. 11:05 AM. "Damn!" She called Kousei. No response. Hiroko happened to be with her, as were Tsubaki and Watari. Hiroko checked her phone clock as well. 11:10 AM. "Damn! damn!" It was unlike Kousei Arima to show up _anywhere_ late.

He was usually at least a half-hour early, and he was a very punctual person. But since the short-term memory loss had set in, it was now becoming common for him to be late for things. Sure enough, however, Kousei, dressed in his blue suit, showed up at 11:15 AM, and showed up just walking very funny. Kaori was rather furious. Kousei said, upon arriving, in an absent-minded tone "Where... where am... I?" He also turned his head left and right, confused as to where he was momentarily.

Kaori barked at Kousei "Dammit, Humpty Dumpty! Do you have no concept of time?!" Hiroko glared at Kaori. "Kaori, dammit, be nice to Kousei! Do you realize the extent of his injuries? He's been through so much, and yet you are being insensitive towards him!" Kaori came to her senses, noticing the contusions on Kousei's head.

"Dear god... I'm sorry, Kousei. You've been through so much... you look like a mess right now! Are you sure you can still perform looking like this?" Kousei also came to his senses momentarily. "Yes... I can. Sorry, my mind... must've shorted out... temporarily. Where am... I? What am... I doing?"

"There ya go again! You spaced out!" Kousei then said "It's... nothing. I had... a nightmare... about my mother... last night. I'd... rather not... talk about... it... please." Kousei then looked to Hiroko. "Hiroko... has my... head... fallen off... yet?"

Another sign of his increasingly apparent nerve damage in his brain was him asking questions repetitively, such as this one regarding whether his head had fallen off yet; this was his most common question. "No, Kousei. It's still there. Your head hasn't fallen off yet. Come on, get in the concert hall, you're a bit late as it is." Kousei hesitated but agreed. "O... kay." He said.

Many of the young musicians of Japan inside the auditorium, as were many of the spectators for the gala, became fixated on the somewhat emaciated and haggard-looking Kousei. Emi Igawa and Takeshi AIza were there, and those feelings of pity they had harbored for him in their last encounter together, had now increased tenfold.

The other musicians also murmured over Kousei's condition, as well.

_Keiko, can you believe this? Kousei looks like almost a shell of his former self._

_No, I don't believe it either..._

_That Kousei... good god... will bad luck strike him again? It's almost like as he drove off a cliff!_

_Will Kousei ever be the same again? It's been a while since we've seen him play the piano. We hope that hitting his head twice won't affect his skills..._

For Kousei, his diminishing brain had no idea how to process all this pity people were feeling for him. Just then, Hiroko spotted Kousei and Kaori. The two women needed to have a talk with him. Hiroko said, "Go in the dressing room, Kousei. We need to have a talk with you." Just then, the two led Kousei into the dressing room. They had a pep talk with him.

Hiroko started. "Kousei... this past month, you've hit your head quite a few times, you're your mobility has been limited! I know that it's been tough, but please, for your sake, for my sake, and for Kaori's sake... Please endure. Please, do not push yourself so far, where you crash and burn. You've had days where you look exhausted and unenthusiastic!"

Kousei turned his gaze at Kaori. "Yes... guys. I'm sorry... my brain... has... gone haywire... malfunctioned... even. I had... a nightmare... about... me... and my... mother... last night. It's... still... personal to... me." Kaori sighed as Kousei gave her a strange look, almost like if she were an alien to him. "Jeez, Kousei, you become clear one moment and think I'm from another planet the next... cut the melodrama already." Hiroko told Kaori, again, "Again, please be nice to him. Don't push him."

Kousei had another moment of clarity. "You... were right... all along. My mother... she may be... gone... but I will... put my... best foot... forward. I need... to try... and move... along... without her." Hiroko reassured Kousei. "I know your head is quite fragile... but hang in there. There are people who support you all the way, and they want to see you succeed with Kaori! You have my support, and Kaori has your support."

Kaori then put her hand on Kousei's forehead. Part of it had one of the contusions from one of the blows to the head. "OW!" Kousei said as he felt a slight twinge of pain. "Sorry, sorry... I didn't realize I touched one of your impacted areas." Kousei said "It's all... right." Kaori continued "But the point is, you've come this far. Even though you have been through so much, this is your time to shine. It may or may not be the last time... but make this the best damn performance of your life!" Kousei nodded, and his long face became a happy one. "You... got it."

Kaori then put her fist out. Kousei did likewise, then Hiroko put forward her fists. The three fists joined together, and Kaori let out this battle cry "All for one... and one for all! On three, Kousei, Kaori, and myself..." "ALL FOR ONE, AND ONE FOR ALL!" they all said, but Kousei came out saying it as "ALL FOR... ONE... AND ONE... FOR ALL!". Just as that was done, the three split temporarily.


	35. Crystal-Clear Destiny-His Mother's Ghost

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 21, 2019

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CHAPTER 35: A CRYSTAL-CLEAR DESTINY/THE GHOST OF HIS MOTHER

Kousei was now in the main lobby of Towa Hall, looking quite placid.

Meanwhile, Emi and Takeshi spotted Kousei all by himself sitting on a chair to catch his breath. They had also found a third person, who was somewhat of an unknown to Kousei. "Kousei!" Emi beamed with a smile on her face. Kousei smiled right back. "Hey, you... guys." The new girl whispered to Emi and Takeshi "Please be kind to him, he's been through a lot, and it's now starting to show." Kousei then asked "Who's... this... new girl?"

The girl, who had a short-like hairstyle akin to Ami Mizuno/Sailor Mercury from Sailor Moon and was a teenage girl of both average height and build wearing glasses, formally introduced herself to Kousei. "My name is Keiko Tamura. You may not have known me, but I was inspired by you many years ago to take up the piano. It's taken me on quite a journey in my life since. But, ever since what has happened to you... I can't help but feel heartbroken for you, Mr. Arima. You've made my dreams come true, you know."

Just then, Keiko hugged Kousei, and Kousei shed a few tears, being overwhelmed by this outpouring of love. "I can only wish the very best out of you... I don't want you getting hurt, ever again!" Kousei then said "I... hope... I can be... better again. Thank... you... Keiko." Keiko then said, as the two ended the hug, "I'm impressed you are here today. There are people out there that want to hear you again. I have faith in you. I got to perform soon, Kousei. It's been nice meeting you."

Kousei said "Thank you... Keiko." Emi said "Every time I see you now, it's like a part of me is heartbroken. It seemed like Keiko genuinely felt for you." "It's... all good."

Takeshi said "You certainly have inspired a lot of people. I also feel the same way seeing you like this as Emi, it's tearing me apart." "Yeah... but it's not... like this... will be... permanent. I'm... playing a song... that is dedicated... to my mother. Love's... Sorrow."

Emi then asked "Jeez, Kousei. You're speaking slower than usual. Is your head screwed on straight?" Kousei said "Uh, yeah... it is. I've... never played... it before... but this... will be the first... time... ever. I gotta... run. I need... some time... to myself, guys..." Kousei then went off and headed outside to catch his breath. "Nice talking to you, Kousei. Take it easy out there, just don't push yourself too hard."

Kousei then limped off. Emi and Takeshi had some questions about him. "This guy... getting into two accidents, and now it's becoming apparent that he isn't the same Kousei we knew before. Will he _ever_ be okay again?" Emi wanted to know. "Beats me... but that guy still has plenty of fight in him. When you get into two accidents like that, it tends to mess you up, sadly. But he'll come through."

Just as Kousei found himself outside the hall to catch his breath, a ghost came to see him. It was that of his mother, Saki. "So, you've seen your old friends, huh? It's nice of you to catch up with them. Never thought I'd see you again... and especially like this."

"Is this... a dream? Where... am I? Am I really... seeing you... mom?"

"Yes, you are, Kousei. But, again, I'm not really here, I'm just existing in your imagination. Your head... is it screwed on straight?" "Yes... mom... although I... feel like... It's missing... or even fallen... off."

"Good to know. Like I said, I'm not really here... don't go insane because you're imagining me right now. Now, get your butt into the lobby of the hall... People are waiting for you. Yesterday's gone, and tomorrow is waiting, as well. It's your time to shine... Kousei."

Indeed, he went backstage and into a small room, where it was just him... and the ghost his mother showed up once more.

"So, how have you been, Kousei, in the two years that have gone by?" Kousei said "My head... is going... haywire. I've hit it... twice... And sometimes... I can't... remember... some things... like my... own name... where I'm... going... and what... time it is."

"Aah. So, you've basically been into a couple of accidents, and now you are speaking slower as a result... what's happening to you?" the ghost of Saki replied.

"I don't... know. This month... has been... like... a blur... to me. I stopped... playing... when you... died. You may... have been... a bit... cruel to... me... but in... the end... You made... me into... who I am... now." Kousei stopped for a moment to collect his thoughts. Then he said "But what... made you... want to... come to... me... after two... years?"

The ghost of Saki lit up with a smirk. "Well, you certainly are getting somewhere with this conversation. What killed me two years ago is, unfortunately, hereditary, and you have also been saddled with this disease. Sad, but true. But, getting that out of the way, I'm still by your side, no matter what. This is what I told you from the very beginning, and even now. I'm always going to be by your side, no matter what."

"But... this disease... is dragging... me down. Part of... me... is now... missing. I have... A prosthetic... foot... and life... is becoming... more blurred."

Saki's ghost then started to realize the gravity of his situation. She then let out a "Hmm." and said "But that shouldn't stop you from playing the piano, you know. You are what you are... and did you ever think about all the people you've inspired? Look at it this way... People love you. Sometimes, you may not think like that, but you are loved."

Kousei said "Well... I guess... I am... loved." Saki continued "But at the same time, there are people that are jealous of you. They don't know success if it hit them upside the head. They also don't possess the level of talent _you_ have. Every pianist I know, well, they wish they _were_ you. Quick question, what sets you apart from other pianists?"

Kousei stopped for a moment. "Uh... what?" Saki's ghost refreshed him. "Looking at the music according to the sheet and following it accordingly. Here's another question: Why do you think you like performing in front of hundreds of people?" Kousei had an answer this time out. "Uh... I want... to prove... that I am... an excellent musician... If not... The best ever. I get... a natural... high... out of... it."

"Good thinking, Kousei, my dear. Think about yourself. I don't know how much time you have, but I want you to realize your potential to your fullest. There's two ways of doing things: The right, not-so-fast way, and the wrong, hurried way. You always followed the first way, so keep at that. Secondly, the music, and the piano live within you. You have to harness your abilities to keep it up. Now, let's take a look at Emi's performance."

The two looked at the TV at Emi's performance on the piano. Just then, Saki's ghost disappeared as she said "Remember... Kousei. I still love you... no matter what I did to you in the past." Kousei said wistfully "Yes... mom..." As the room came back to normal, Kousei said "Did... I just... encounter my mom?" as if an anvil had been dropped on him, like in those old Warner Brothers cartoons. He knew that this was possibly going to be his last chance to prove he was no longer bound to his mother, but if ONE thing went wrong, just ONE thing, his whole life and career would be demolished to rubble in an instant. Even so, Kousei's destiny was now crystal clear.


	36. The Edge of a Dream

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 22, 2019

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CHAPTER 36: THE EDGE OF A DREAM

As some time passed, and Kousei and Emi and later, Keiko and Takeshi's performances on the TV, Kousei became introspective about himself again. _My mother... she came back for me! She has set the bar so high for me. My voice... it's slowly disappearing. My brain... diminishing. How can I make her proud when I have her same disease...? Is my time soon going to be up? How will people remember me when I go? I'm known so well, but yet... I'm feeling unloved. Will I make it past this year? Will there EVER be a miracle cure for what my brain is going through? Just focus and live in the now, Kousei. Live in the NOW. Worry about this Gala, and then take care of other things later... you are what you are. Remember what Kaori said: ALL FOR ONE, AND ONE FOR ALL. You are on the edge of a dream. Maybe you might fall, but maybe you will fly!_

Hiroko came up to the nearly expressionless, almost statue-like Kousei. "Kousei... are you sure you'll be okay?" Kousei nodded. "Yes... yes..." Hiroko informed him "You're almost up." Sometimes, it seemed like Kousei was on pins and needles. He was sweating a little, but he tried to reassure himself that he would be alright. Kaori came up to the spaced-out Kousei. "Dear lord, Kousei... you've look liked been through a lot of car crashes. We're almost up. One more time, Kousei... all for one... and one for all!" Hiroko went back into to the audience to watch the performances, with Tsubaki and Watari watching with her.

Kousei, for once, actually said the phrase at a normal speed, prior to his second accident. Kousei was ready, and he had to be with Kaori. This was going to be his moment.

He was now on the edge of a dream. Even for someone who was about to be 15 soon, he knew that even with his diminishing brain power and mobility, this was to be the biggest stage for him to shine. Keiko, who was backstage wished Kousei well. "Go get 'em, Kousei. You can do this." Kousei signaled a thumbs up to Keiko.

But even with this, if he made _one_ single mistake, everyone would be laughing at him, just like in the horror movie and novel Carrie, only without the fake blood falling on him. As Kousei and Kaori were called to the stage, Kousei, with his slow mobility and his prosthetic left foot exposed, assumed the position on his piano bench. He winked at Kaori and Kaori winked back and pointed to him and gave him the thumbs up.

She said to him, "Let's do this!". As Kousei made his way to the stage, some gasped at his appearance, the fact the head scars on his head from the impacts, and the fact he was starting to look a bit malnourished because of the head injuries aggravating his condition. But now was NOT the time to think about that for Kousei, and he had to focus on Kaori, who was seemingly his destiny.

and started playing Love's Sorrow, or at least his part with the piano. Even with the fact that his whole world was seemingly collapsing, for these few minutes, his mind was finally firmly focused on the piano. For years, his mother, in spite of the abuse the she had inflicted on her due to her 'tough love' parenting style, had also instilled a bit of confidence whenever he played. Nonetheless, even though for the most part, his head was seemingly short circuiting at times, everything around the two looked very lovely.

He imagined himself somewhere in Europe, on a concert stage, playing the piano with Kaori on her violin, and Kousei was _actually_ playing everything according to the score. For this moment, Kousei was back to his old self. Only time would tell if it would be the _last_ time this would be true. Kaori looked at Kousei and thought to herself _Wow! This guy... he's looking like nothing ever happened to him! Can this be a miracle I'm seeing from him?_

Kaori's violin playing was melding well with Kousei, and he NEVER lost a beat. Even with his hearing and sight diminishing somewhat, it hadn't yet reached a point where both were fully gone. It seemed like he could perform this piece in his sleep, and make it beautiful, like a professional that was at least 20 or 30 years older than he was. The same could be said of Kaori's violin playing... she also dreamt of being on a beach, playing their music. For the two of them, this might as well have been their Grey Cup final, which is the Canadian Football League's championship game held in late November. Kaori, being that she now liked the CFL, as she played, also fantasized of her and Kousei hoisting the Grey Cup.

After a few minutes, they completed their playing of _Love's Sorrow_. The crowd applauded the two. Kousei stood up, and took a moment to take it all in. Kaori did likewise and smiled at Kousei. Kousei actually made _no_ mistakes, as did Kaori. Suddenly, Kousei abruptly left and had to somewhere. He was exhausted... and feeling like all that perfection had shorted out his brain.

Kousei later had gone backstage, sitting on a chair, panting. Kaori and Hiroko spotted him. He was sweating, and it had seeped through his suit. Hiroko, concerned, said "Kousei! The people... they were cheering for you! Are you feeling alright?" Kousei slowed down and said "Yes... I am... alright... I feel... like... all this... took a lot... out of me." Kaori smiled at Kousei and said "They loved you out there. We actually connected and melded together. I'm happy for you. You should be happy for me."

Kousei said "Yes... I'm happy... for you... Kaori. My mother... she saw... me... everything I... did... did this... reach her? She and... I... are... seemingly connected. Even though... she's gone. All of this... makes me... feel good... but I am... exhausted. I need... to go off... see you, Kaori, Hiroko..." Kousei then slowly got up and left the concert hall, with Kaori and Hiroko just shocked that he would leave this early. Understandably, being exhausted and mentally expended, he needed somewhere to go to cool off.

About 20 minutes later, Kaori, Hiroko, Tsubaki and Watari convened. They were concerned as to where Kousei had gone. Hiroko then got a message from Kousei. "Guys... I've been told he just walked home. He said his brain is feeling pretty worn out from all this. He said he went home... I just worry about the guy." Kaori reassured Hiroko. "I think he'll be okay... but I wonder what will happen to him in the future? Indeed, the four people became concerned about what would happen to Kousei as the summer approached. Nobody told Kaori and Kousei about this, but they had been voted as the best performers of the Gala.


	37. Losing His Touch

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 23, 2019

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CHAPTER 37: LOSING HIS TOUCH

_~ONE AND A HALF MONTHS LATER (JULY 17)~_

It was now in the middle of summer. School was out for the time being, and everyone around Japan and Tokyo were focused on having fun in the summer. While Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari were having fun with Kaori's CFL ball playing mock football (of course, this was when she wasn't playing her Famicom; the three hadn't heard from Kousei in almost a month, on top of this, only being kept up to date from Kaori's messages from Hiroko about how he was) Kousei was just at home, with the AC on, just relaxing on the piano bench. He wanted to be left alone, as his mind, while having shown no further signs of deterioration, had also not improved either. His body had mostly retained the status quo after the second accident. Kousei was not wearing his tank top on this day with his biker shorts; thusly, he was shirtless today.

He thought to himself on this warm July morning _Dammit, what do I care? I haven't improved much, but I haven't deteriorated either. Every day is just becoming a struggle for me._

Kousei, who had attempted to keep his mind sharp by playing the piano on occasion, was playing inconsistently again. "Dammit... I'm not... playing all... too... well. Was it... a miracle... for me... that I played... as well... as I did... at the gala? I've... lost my... touch... again. Here it comes... headache... again..."

He then realized he needed to take his medicine, but all of a sudden, Kousei was feeling a tightness in his chest, He was having a heart attack. "Heart... about to... explode... oh... my god..." Kousei then passed out on the piano keys, and all the keys made the sound of all of them being touched together. A neighbor noticed Kousei passed out on the piano. This time, however, Kousei did NOT hit his head on anything, he merely passed out on the doorstep, missing the door by a few inches/centimeters. "Kousei Arima... my god... please, help him out!" said the neighbor to her husband. Help was called immediately. He had forgotten take his medications, which why he passed out in front of his neighbor.

_~TWO DAYS LATER~_

Kousei was back at Totsuhara Hospital, with just about no memory of what happened to him. The first thing he saw, with his diminishing eyesight, which had now declined a bit further, was his father, Takahiko with Hiroko.

Kousei is writing in pain, just realizing how fragile he had become in the space of a few months. He was now looking more malnourished than before, and his ribs were starting to be visible when he was bare-chested. On top of all this, his skin was becoming cracked, and his face was starting to look almost like that of someone at least four to five times his age, and while the scars from the blows to the head were still there, they were less visible than during the Gala.

"Fa... ther?" Kousei said to his father. "Kousei, my son. I can't believe I'm seeing you like this. You've hit your head twice, lost your left foot... it's breaking my heart. And you do know you have your mother's disease, right? I think you were told this a month ago." Kousei then started to break down and cry. "I... do! I can't... believe it... I am fettered... to her... in more ways... than one. I had... a heart... attack... and I can't... remember what... happened. I don't... know... whether... I'm loved... anymore."

Hiroko then told Kousei "Don't say that, Kousei. I don't know whether you know, but there are many young musicians within this country that were inspired to take up piano by you. You _are_ loved. Hang in there, Kousei... your father is here with you." Even though it took him a minute to recognize him, Kousei's father had some words for his son, who was ailing. "Hang in there, please, my son. I know that this hasn't been the best year for you... but I want you to hold on, for another year."

Kousei said "Yeah... I hope... so... too." Takahiko said "Me and Hiroko have to go. We'll see you again soon." Kousei said "Thank you..." As the two left, Kousei was all alone. He looked down at his fragile body. The short-term memory loss, the messing up of the playing of the piano, it was all becoming apparent to him that he likely wasn't going to last much longer. He also had expressed feelings of being unloved. As he was alone, he cried to himself silently "I... am... not loved! Nobody... loves me... at all!" The hospital kept him for observation for a week, and then he would be released.

As this happened, Kaori wistfully looked at the night sky in Tokyo "Kousei... if only I could tell you how I feel about you." Just then, her phone came on, and Hiroko relayed this message to her: _Kousei had a heart attack last week. He was kept in observation, and he is back at home resting now. I'm not sure what is going on here, but he's not doing so well lately..._ Kaori shed a few tears. "Goddamnit... that Kousei... he's slowly fading into oblivion! And possibly taking me with him!"

Kaori then relayed the same message over to Watari and Tsubaki. The former's reaction was "Damn... the guy I knew for so long... isn't doing so well. Could his time be up before his time?" He pondered this as his longtime friend was slowly starting to deteriorate. As for the latter, Tsubaki sobbed endlessly, just thinking about poor Kousei. She _couldn't even_ bear seeing him like this. It was tearing her apart as well. "Damn it all to hell, shit! Kousei had a heart attack... he's become more fragile!"

Of course, little did they know, things would get worse for Kousei before they got better as the summer wore on. Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki would have to stay tough together, and for Kaori, having Hiroko by her side was of the most utmost importance to her.


	38. Lights Out

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 23, 2019

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CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter will feature a SEVERELY gruesome injury. Please DO NOT read any further if you are sensitive to this type of content. There is also a little strong language in here too.

A second brief word of warning: Some chapters of this story from here on out will get pretty dark, and may be objectionable to some readers. Again, I will mark these chapters that may contain such content with a CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING label at the top of each chapter.

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CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter will feature a SEVERELY gruesome injury. Please DO NOT read any further if you are sensitive to this type of content. There is also a little strong language in here too.

A second brief word of warning: Some chapters of this story from here on out will get pretty dark, and may be objectionable to some readers. Again, I will mark these chapters that may contain such content with a CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING label at the top of each chapter.

It was now July 25. It had been a few days since Kousei had been released from the hospital, again. Of course, he was still undergoing his weekly battery of tests, to make sure his speech would be sharp again, which it was not, even though he had also no signs of it deteriorating either, and while he was starting to look haggardly, he had not deteriorated much further either in the week that had passed.

He also wanted to just be left alone, and when he talked to Kaori, he wouldn't elaborate why he wanted to be left alone, and Kaori just left things at that; this left her concerned for Kousei, as to why he had become more secretive over the summer towards her, Watari and Tsubaki.

His musical tastes had drifted away largely from the classical music trappings of his type, and more into 1970s and 1980s rock and pop. He was listening to _Is This Love_ by Whitesnake, as he woke up in the late afternoon, shirtless and wearing nothing but his biker shorts. It was now becoming common for him to sleep in early evening or early morning and wake up either in the late afternoon or late night, depending on when he slept.

_Fuck it all, what do I care? It's 1pm, I'll just go play the piano and maybe go out to a pool or a park and walk. Everything is becoming a chore to me these days._

Kousei got up, and got out one of his favorite egg sandwiches, with some canned UCC milk coffee with him. He ate it, and while he could eat it, he was starting to realize that his sense of taste had faded considerably.

"What... the... hell?! This tastes... like shit. I can't... taste anything... decent... anymore!" Kousei then spit it out on the sink, because his sense of taste had faded away. By now, he'd tried to play the piano, but he still sounded just... awful now. Unable to get his touch back, his piano playing skills were as good as done to him. Unable to play the piano again, he just decided, with his limited mobility, to just walk around a park to keep his mind at ease. He put his charcoal gray tank top on, as it was 84 degrees F/29 degrees C outside.

Everyone he knew was just around having a good time doing various things as they would do in the summer, and Kousei decided to go incognito and put on a Toronto Blue Jays cap on which he had not worn for a while and sunglasses so people wouldn't recognize him all haggardly and leave his friends heartbroken over what he had become. He got his cane, as it was now the only thing that was keeping his mobility together.

One of the places he walked was the bakery that was run by Kaori's parents, Ryoko and Yoshiyuki. At first, they didn't recognize that it was Kousei, since he had the sunglasses and ballcap on. But then they knew it was him, judging by his messy hairstyle under his hat.

"Kousei... is that you?" Ryoko asked the teen boy. "Yes... how did... you know... it was... me, Miss Miyazono?" Ryoko told her "Please, Kousei, call me Ryoko. How have you been? You've been through a lot." Kousei, said "Eh, it's... alright. Life is... okay... I guess. I'm sorry... I haven't... seen Kaori... a lot... lately. It's... because of... personal... problems of... mine... I'd rather... not talk... about." He kept his hat and sunglasses on.

Yoshiyuki said "I see, Kousei. We saw you at the Gala, and you were quite amazing with my daughter. She really likes you." Kousei said. "Yeah... I guess. I need... to walk... around a... bit more. Tell... Kaori I... said... hello." Ryoko nodded and smiled. "Here, Kousei... have this, on me." Ryoko handed Kousei a small loaf of bread. "If you want to see Kaori, she's right by our home, and she's playing football with your friends."

Kousei nodded. "Thank... you... Ryoko. See you... soon..." Kousei then took the loaf of bread and got his cane and walked back on his merry way. As he left, those warm feelings Ryoko and Yoshiyuki had for Kousei when they saw him gave way to ones of concern. "He hasn't been doing so well, what is going on with Kaori's friend?" Yoshiyuki asked.

Ryoko told him "It's a long story, but he has basically lost his foot, hit his head twice and now he's looking pretty bad. I don't know... what will be this guy's future? What will happen to Kaori if Kousei finally goes?" Ryoko and Yoshiyuki just gazed at each other with looks of worry coming from the two, having known very well what Kousei had gone through on the TV news. Another point of concern for the Miyazonos was also how Takahiko, Kousei's father, was managing himself in spite of Kousei's problems.

Even as Kaori was playing with her CFL ball again with Watari and Tsubaki, the three were seemingly oblivious over how Kousei had been since the heart attack. They just kept playing football on this warm day, because even musicians like Kaori need time to unwind, especially on this warm summer day. He was eating the loaf of bread the Miyazonos gave him, and he ate it contently.

Just then, Kousei then came to a crosswalk. Kousei then started to feel a numbing sensation on his feet, and his chest was feeling tight. "God... no... not this... again... my feeet... where... are... they?" Before long, a Toei bus came towards Kousei at full speed. Kousei, whose eyesight along with his wearing of the sunglasses meant that he couldn't see the bus from that far, tried to get back up, despite the fact that his feet were losing sensation within him.

Kousei tried to get himself out of harm's way, but the Toei bus, travelling at its full speed, and the driver not aware of Kousei until he was very near the bus, alongside Kousei's fading vision and his sunglasses making him unable to see the bus meant it was too late to stop Kousei from what would eventually become his fate: The bus ran over the nearly-stationary Kousei over with full force, sending him flying a few feet/meters into the air, and tossing him several feet/meters away until his head came towards the concrete curb of the crosswalk, hitting and damaging it considerably with its impact; part of his spine also broke hitting the pavement as well. He didn't even scream upon getting hit by the bus.

Kousei had now suffered his third, and most dangerous blow to the head. The bus came to a stop as all 11 passengers on the bus looked in horror as to what they saw: Kousei Arima had been run over, his Toronto Blue Jays cap was a few feet/meters away, as was his prosthetic left foot, his sunglasses and glasses were broken, and he was keeled over with blood emanating from his head and most of his body. An ambulance, which had been driving over the area, came to Kousei immediately.

The passengers looked on in horror as to what had happened to the one-time child piano prodigy; quite a few were crying over this tragic event. This was a far cry from his days as recently as last year, and even a few months ago when Kousei had met Kaori. One of the passenger witnesses had a heart attack over the sight of the severely injured Kousei. The driver of the bus also had a panic attack over all this, and here police cars came over to help out the distressed passengers. It made for a very chaotic scene, and a few news reporters came over to talk to the witnesses to describe what they saw.

"We were just minding our own business when the driver runs over this boy! He was a sitting duck, this sucks!"

"I'm crying... I think this boy was the piano prodigy, Kousei Arima... he's been through a lot, but I can't believe this has happened to him!"

"Dear lord... this is the worst day of my life, seeing the poor boy being run over by our bus!"

Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari, who were several blocks away, noticed the sirens, but they didn't bother checking on what had happened, thinking it didn't concern them. They just kept playing football even long after the sirens had faded away. Little did they know, that their friend Kousei would be severely impacted by this, and the lives of the three would NEVER be the same after what had happened on this warm July day. Kousei Arima, most of all, would soon become a former shell of his old self... and that his depression would become even worse. His whole world was now fading fast.


	39. A Lost Soul-Metaphorical Trigger

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: More strong language, and a rather grotesque account as to what Kousei went through this time.

Indeed, in the days that followed Kousei's third and most severe accident, there was much chaos among Kaori, his father Takahiko, and even Hiroko Seto, over what had happened to him now. Their whole world had been turned upside down.

The day after, Kaori found out what had happened to Kousei on the TV news. If what had happened to Kousei in the past few months was shocking enough for her, she would be in for quite the rude awakening here.

As she finished up playing _Bomber King_ (author's note: called _RoboWarrior_ in North America) on her Famicom, she started looking for another game to play when she turned off the video game console, and there was a TV news report showing.

The TV news reporter stated:

_Yesterday afternoon, teenage piano prodigy Kousei Arima, who has seen two accidents happen to him in the space of several months, was reinjured, this time being struck by a Toei bus, which caused him to fly several feet/meters into the air, eventually hitting his head onto a concrete curb. He was taken to the Tokyo Neurological Center for brief investigation on his neurological state. The medical staff at Totsuhara Hospital are working on him frenetically at this time, to make sure that some semblance of his mental capabilities can function again, but while he will survive, thanks to the quick response of an ambulance that happened to be driving around the area of the accident, it is believed now that alongside with an unspecified disease he has, it is likely that the damage that has already been done on his brain will likely be damaged further, and his speech, already permanently affected, will be diminished even further; in addition, part of his spine was also damaged, and potentially broken..._

Kaori just broke down and cried over all this. "Godfuckingdammit! This has been a rough few months for me and Kousei! This guy was looking oh-so-happy a few months ago after I see him, and now he just keeps getting into these fucking accidents?! LIFE IS CRUEL!" Her sobbing was loud enough that Ryoko and Yoshiyuki heard her. They were also aware of what was happening to Kousei and were as equally as heartbroken as her over him.

However, since it was likely that their daughter would ask her to leave her alone angrily if they dared talk to her, they just left her be for the time being. Ryoko expressed sorrow over all this to Yoshiyuki. "Our poor daughter... she's just so heartbroken over Kousei. He was such a talented pianist, and a nice person." Yoshiyuki sighed and said, "We cry for her..." The two just looked at their daughter lamentfully as she sobbed. Their hearts sank for both Kousei and their daughter.

Meanwhile, Takahiko Arima was called back home as he needed to know what his son had gone through now. Kousei's mentor, Hiroko Seto, also wanted to know what was going on with him. The two were at Kousei's residence, on the phone with the hospital. Information was coming in slow on their end. "Slow down... a fracture to his skull? Broken spine?!" Takahiko demanded to know. Some indistinct chatter would be heard on the phone with the doctors.

Hiroko tried to calm down Takahiko. "Takahiko, I know this is a serious situation for him, but please try and keep yourself together." Takahiko then barked out "Goddamnit, his brain has malfunctioned? Nerve damage? What is it?" Hiroko just sighed and was feeling lamentful for Takahiko's son going through a slow-motion demise in the space of several months; the once-talented piano prodigy was now going through a very painful ruination, what with having her mother's disease and the head trauma episodes having aggravated it further; this was in addition to his damaged spine. "I don't want that bullshit out of you, I want to get a clear picture of what's happening to my damn son! What exactly happened to him, skull fracture? His spine is damaged?! I want to know if he's going to survive!"

Tsubaki and Watari were at Watari's when they saw the news. In shock, Watari said, fighting back tears, "Oh, my god... This is the third accident poor Kousei has gone through. Is he dead?! I hope he's not fucking dead!" Tsubaki was sobbing, as well. "Our biggest friend... His head is not the same... he's no longer the Kousei we all knew for so long, and this fucking sucks!" Both then hugged each and sobbed.

~ONE WEEK LATER~  
While Kousei did survive this whole ordeal, his eyesight and hearing had faded even further, as had his speech. He also could no longer walk again or stand up again (as a result of his partially broken spine, which is why he felt the numbing sensation in his feet and legs; and he was also emaciated, almost looking like someone that was malnourished and had quite a few bruises on his head, with his head being dented in a few places. Kousei was, if not fully becoming a vegetable, was slowly heading in that direction. It was now August, and it was still warm. This was now becoming the most tragic summer for Kousei's friends.

Hiroko Seto came over to Kaori's to have a little talk to her. Indeed, Hiroko and Kaori had become closer friends in the two months that passed by since their first encounter... their relationship had become sisterly, with Hiroko being the big sister Kaori so desperately needed. Ryoko answered the door. "Who are you? Oh, wait... you must be Kousei's friend, Hiroko Seto. You must want Kaori, I take it." Hiroko nodded. "Yes. I'd like to talk to Kaori, please."

Ryoko pointed Hiroko to her room. Hiroko spotted Kaori in her room, walking on the strip of tape she marked _WALK THIS WAY_, as she held her CFL ball; she was also listening to a CFL game on the radio; the game Kaori listened to was the Saskatchewan Roughriders playing the B.C. Lions in Vancouver.

Her face looked blankly at Hiroko. Her violin skills were also diminishing slowly, and the only things keeping her mind at ease were walking on that line and playing the Famicom. Kaori was becoming a lost, wandering soul. "Hiroko?" she said to her as the two met. Kaori put her ball back on her desk, and the two sat down on her bed. Kaori turned the radio off.

"Hi, Kaori. OK... I think I'll bring you up to date with Kousei. It's been a week. He is doing okay, but sadly, he suffered a slight skull fracture, which has destroyed his sight, hearing and his speech even further. Sadly, it is now official; all this damage is irreversible; meaning that even if he pulls through, he will be this way for the rest of his life. He has also lost a lot of weight, and all of this has altered his facial features, tragically. It's unfortunate, but I wanted to talk to you about all this right now to you."

Kaori shed a few tears, as Hiroko showed several pics of Kousei after his third accident. The pictures were quite grisly and ghastly. "Oh, dear lord... this is tragic! He looks almost nigh-unrecognizable! I'm so worried... and there's something else that worries me too, Hiroko." Hiroko then asked "Go on, I'm listening. What's bothering you?"

Kaori, choking up, said "Well, since I got wind that Kousei's disease or illness or whatever the hell it is might be life-threatening, and the fact that he's had quite a huge case of PTSD with him... my worry was that he just might, one day, decide he's had enough and commit suicide. Well... I'm now at my most concerned that he might follow through on this..."

Hiroko then told her "Seeing how I have known him the longest, his mother suffered the most and now I really regret that I pushed her to have him take up the piano. Maybe if I hadn't maybe he wouldn't be so close to death or inches from it." Kaori then continued. "Yeah... I guess... still, that doesn't take away from my concern that I have in me right now... he had some procedures on him last week, I just wonder how all those went..."

Hiroko then told Kaori "They went well, but the doctors are saying they will have to operate on him fully in early September, if not sooner. After that, they're not sure about what to do to keep him alive. He might have only a year left or so, maybe. I really wish it hadn't been him, I would be alright if was his dad. Then I would have to be his guardian from now on." Kaori was still choked up. "Oh, dear god in heaven... they're almost out of options for him? anymore? Now I'm gravely concerned that he will finally jump off his metaphorical cliff... it looks time might be up for him soon..." Hiroko then added "Dear God, I wish, oh how I wish he had lived a full life and had some rather adorable kids with someone, just somebody."

Kaori, who was now about to sob said "Oh, damn..." Just then, Hiroko asked Kaori "Kaori, are you going to be okay?" Kaori told Hiroko "No... I'm now extremely scared that he'll just finally pull the plug on himself... what... did he... ever do to deserve this? And possibly leave me behind? Why is it that this guy sweeps me off my feet, and leaves me with an extreme case of a broken heart? Why?" Hiroko said "Diseases, and death go hand and hand sometimes we can't exactly change or defy fate. Of course, if only we could."

Kaori tried to hold back her tears again. She then told Hiroko "I can't believe it... he was like, as shining star and he's become a fallen one... I feel like I have failed him... and now he might end his life by his own hand any day now... he's now a ticking time bomb..." Hiroko, with her warm, motherly voice told Kaori just then "Hell, you're not the only one who feels that way too. I at least tried to keep him good health even his father, you tried to help him realize his true strength and talent as a musician as well as a pianist. Somewhere we have probably failed. You are not to blame, Kaori."

Kaori then said as she finally sobbed, "I just hope that the next I meet him won't be the last time I meet him... I hope to see him again within the next few days... I just want to offer him words of hope, somehow..." Hiroko uses her warm motherly nature to console her and hug her, even though she feels the same and maybe this hug might make them feel better. "I know, but I suggest that you see him real soon and one last time before he pulls his metaphorical trigger." Hiroko says that to her in a rather sure voice whereas Kousei just might end his life real soon as if she knows. Like a foreshadowing that is to come.

"I will... meanwhile, I must keep myself together... my heart just sinks for me over Kousei..." Hiroko then said "Of course, they call it in your case love which is for the both of you. I am also sure that Kousei is absolutely conflicted about everything and with that very same choice and notion." Kaori continued with "Yeah... I don't know how I'll be, however... when that day finally DOES come where he sends himself off among the stars..."

Hiroko then said "Don't just think about yourself, you must also think about how I will feel and everyone else when he does put himself in front of a car or a bus, maybe even a train as well. Maybe even a cliff, or whatever, but I wish there was something that we could do, before he dies." Just as Hiroko let Kaori sob fully, she said to her "Okay..." As Kousei's world was collapsing, so was Kaori's strength to keep carrying on... but she, alongside with Hiroko had to keep a brave face on things for their sake.


	40. Fading Away

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 26, 2019

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CONTENT WARNING: Again, some strong language is in this chapter.

Given Kousei's rapidly fragile state by this point in time, the doctors decided to leave him in a coma, which lasted for a week. It was now August 10, and the time had come for him to wake up. He did, but now, given how severe this third blow to the head was, his speech was now even slower, and his eyes resembled that of a fish's.

He had tape wrapped around his chest, with some areas of it exposed. His ribs were now plainly visible, as he had lost more weight, and was now malnourished. Those egg sandwiches he loved, he could no longer eat, and one could see the scars and dents from the head trauma. Kousei was becoming almost unrecognizable, and he was briefed on his condition by his male clinician, Dr. Fujihiro Abe.

"Mr. Kousei Arima, in the past few months, we have seen you taken three major blows to the head. In addition to the fact that you have tested positive for your mother's illness that ultimately ended her life, the head trauma you have experienced has only served to aggravate this further. To summarize: Your speech, eyesight and hearing have largely diminished. You have lost a lot of weight due to all this, and the scans on you have shown the root of all this is: The rather extensive nerve damage you have sustained from these three recent blows to the head, which as stated, has served to aggravate your inherited disease, which is incurable, sadly. Also, the damage you have sustained is irreversible; you fractured your skull on that third blow. The middle part of your spine also got damaged on impact as well, and you are no longer able to stand up or walk. I'm sorry; you've experienced some heavy brain damage, and this is why you've said you can't remember anything about yourself, like what your name is, or where you are right now. We will have make you undergo a major surgery on September 7th. We believe you have, at most, one year to live, despite your rapidly deteriorating condition. After this, we are not sure what we will do, but we will try our best to try and prolong your life in some way."

Kousei, whose hearing was now at 25%, as was his sight said "Okay... I gue... sss... I now... knn... owww... what's... happened... tooooommm... mee. What... is... my... name?" His speech had become considerably slurred now, even worse than before the second accident. "I... want... too... tell... you... some... thing."

Dr. Abe said, "What is it, Mr. Arima, go on. Your name is Kousei Arima." Kousei said "There... was... this... gir...lll... that... I met... a few... months... ago. Her... Name is... Kaori... Miyazono. She is... a... violinist, and... I told her... that I liked... her... But I... told this... lie... that I... liked another... person. don't... tell anybody... about this... please. I'm... also... feeling... lonely... depressed. I was... once... a good... pianist... But those... days... are now... gone. I don't... know... what I... want to do... in life... anymore. Everything... is... fading... I feel... unloved... everything... is meaningless. Again... don't... say anything... about this... to my friends. Please." Mr. Abe nodded. "Okay, Mr. Arima. Your secret is safe with me. We won't disclose anything about how you feel today."

That night, Kousei became introspective about himself again. This time, he was feeling quite desperate. _Why...? Why did I have to be cursed with this disease? I finally get one chance t prove I'm not my mother's puppet... Now that I am slowly dying like her this absolutely sucks! It is dragging me down. Maybe if this damn surgery doesn't end my life, I'll do it myself by any means possible. All these years of training on the piano, winning all the competitions out there, WASTED! MEANINGLESS! ALL DOWN THE DRAIN! I have her damn disease, and there's nothing I can do about it. Fate is just so damn cruel. If I'm still around, then I'll try and find some fucking way to end my own fucking life. Nobody goddamn loves me... NOBODY! I'M UNLOVED!_ Indeed, as Kousei's health faded, he was now becoming suicidal. He knew his life was going to end, but if he were to survive his operation, he would try and think about ending it on his own terms.

He later asked for someone write a note to Kaori and Hiroko, well one note, anyway, in case he didn't make it. Because Kousei's speech was going slower, it took a full hour to get the letter done. The worker had a small computer ready, and it was all done by that day's end. It was only to be read after his possible death, whenever it would be; this was per Kousei's explicit instructions.

The next day, Takahiko Arima and Hiroko set came to see Kousei. They knew very well how Kousei was fading, but he was at least awake, and Kousei knew his father and his mentor were there to see him. However, any feelings of desperation and suicidal tendencies would have to be brushed off in front of them, as he didn't want to let any of his friends down.

Takahiko spoke first. "Da... ddd?" Kousei said. "Oh, my son. I really hate seeing you like this. How are you doing?" Kousei then replied with "Fine... and I'm... not... just... saying... that." Hiroko then spoke next. "Well, Kousei, the reason we're here today is that we want to check on you. It's hard to believe that you're in the state you're in. It really breaks our hearts to see you like this, but given how much you meant to us, we have to come talk to you."

Kousei added "Go... on." Takahiko briefed him again. "Obviously, given the extent of your injuries, you will have to be operated on September 7th. This will be quite extensive, and there is a good chance you may not make it. I don't know what to say son, but I'm not ready to say goodbye to you. I want to make sure I get to talk to you, even if it may before the last time. It's sad that you have fallen so far... but you still mean a lot to me. So many people love you... We love you... I may not be ready to say goodbye to you, but I hope you can also somehow make it. If the surgery doesn't go well, well... I guess I'll have to accept your loss as fact. Please... hang in there. Hiroko is shedding a few tears over you."

Hiroko, a bit choked up, said "Kousei... I know that date in early September, the 7th will be one that we all dread. Please... remember that there are people who will love you, always and forever. All we can is, don't fade away quietly into the light..." Kousei shed a few tears "Thank... you... Hiroko... dad... please... I want... to be... alone... now." Takahiko and Hiroko both complied with his order. Before they left, Hiroko said, "Goodbye, Kousei. I hope I can see you again soon..." Takahiko said "Remember me, Kousei... see you later, hopefully."

That night, Kousei started to reminisce about his life quickly, and how it was all flashing in front of him. _The piano... My mother... She got me into it. She made me into the best pianist in Japan... And all because I couldn't hear the music. Then this blond girl comes into my life... and brightens it up. She is the light of my life. Now, I've gone through so much that I'm fading away. Everything is turning into black. It's almost like a barren wasteland... and I'm finding out there's no turning back._

Kousei then put out a song out on his music player. It was again, not a classical piece, but a synthpop music piece, this time, an early 2010s piece called _Waste_ by Foster the People.

He then had another dream.

~DREAM SEQUENCE~

MUSICAL NOTE: "Waste" by Foster the People (song can be heard at the top of this page)

_I'll hold your hand when you are feeling mad at me_

_Yeah when the monsters they won't go and your windows don't close_

_I'll pretend to see what you see_

Kousei found himself holding a picnic by himself in a Tokyo park, wearing his charcoal gray tank top and black biker shorts on this summer's day. Just then, Kousei was joined by his usual friends, Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari. Not surprisingly, Kaori wore her Saskatchewan Roughrider jersey and brought her CFL ball to this picnic.

"Hey, Kousei! Don't forget about us! Save some room for us!" Tsubaki said. "Yeah, Kousei! Did you think we wouldn't be here?" Watari said. Kaori added "And I got my football with me! So let us join you!" Kousei smiled, and said "Hey, I always had room for you! Let's enjoy ourselves!"

_"How long?" I say, how long will you relive the things that are gone?_

_Oh yeah, The devil's on your back but I know you can shake him off_

Among some of the things the four teens did at the picnic was just tell jokes, talk about music, and even some non-musical things, especially Kaori's love of Canadian football. Just then, Kaori decided to play a game of pickup football with the other three. Kaori said, "Hey, you guys, can any of you play Canadian football?" Kousei said "We'll try!" Tsubaki and Watari nodded with Tsubaki saying "Yeah, we'll give it a try. We only knew about American football, but we'll join ya, Kaori!" Watari said "Well, it might be as fun as American football, so what the hey?"

_And every day that you want to waste_

_That you want to waste, you can_

_And every day that you want to wake up_

_And you want to wake, you can_

The four were enjoying themselves quite through and through. Kaori attempted to pass to Watari, but Kousei instead picked it off. Watari just laughed it off and knew that Kousei was just playing; he was quite nimble. He smiled and said "Yay, Kaori's pass is intercepted by Kousei Arima!" Tsubaki smiled and said "Nice interception, Kousei!" Kousei laughed.

_And every day that you want to change_

_That you want to change, yeah_

_I'll help you see it through_

_Cause I just really want to be with you..._

It was now Kousei's turn to throw a touchdown pass. And he did just that, and nobody intercept Kaori this time. As she caught Kousei's pass, Kaori said "And here is the catch by Kaori Miyazono, and it is a touchdown for the Riders! Kaori Miyazono has become a fan favorite in Saskatchewan!" The four later laid down on the grass and laughed. Kousei said "I wish this summer would never end... I'm having fun!" Kaori said contently "Yes, I'm having fun. I wish this feeling would never end, either..."

~END DREAM SEQUENCE~

Indeed, even though his hearing had diminished, that song was giving him a brief moment of comfort before his operation.


	41. Listless-Short-Circuiting

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 26, 2019

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CHAPTER 41: LISTLESS/SHORT-CIRCUTING

~TWO AND A HALF WEEKS LATER~

_And now, Japan World Sports Radio presents coverage of the Canadian Football League; today's game is the Hamilton Tiger-Cats vs the Saskatchewan Roughriders._

_Good evening, from Regina, Saskatchewan. It is week 11 in the CFL season, and the Saskatchewan Roughriders are at home against the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. The two teams are in second place in their respective divisions, with Saskatchewan trying to overtake the West-leading B.C. Lions, and the Tiger-Cats are trying to leapfrog the leading Eastern team, the Toronto Argonauts..._

For Kaori Miyazono, Tsubaki Sawabe and Ryouta Watari, this summer was turning out to the most tragic summer for the three of them. What information regarding Kousei, when it went through them, was Hiroko Seto relaying messages to Kaori in the form of text messages and pictures (which were usually ghastly). It was now August 30. Kaori was in her home, by herself, just tossing around her CFL ball and wearing her Saskatchewan Roughriders T-shirt.

She was looking listless, as she had already gone through much of her 20 Famicom games that had played since she first discovered it months ago. She got up out of her chair on the TV and looked in her room. Somehow, unbeknown to her, Kaori found another plastic box in her closet that she hadn't looked for in a while: Inside that box, were another 50 Famicom games. She looked in awe. "Well, will ya look at that? Just when I think I have completed all the Famicom games I have, there's more that I can enjoy. Eh, I'll get to that later, maybe I should get back on my violin. I haven't touched it in, like, weeks!" Even though she was going through the motions, she had tried to play her violin from time to time to stay sharp. She once again got it out of her case, and she began playing.

Unfortunately, her concerns for Kousei meant that she was playing even worse than before the third accident and the Gala. She was hitting the wrong notes nearly frequently. This was now a source of frustration for her, and she angrily put it away. "Goddamn it... I sound horrible! All these years of training... nearly GONE! What was I thinking picking up the violin?! What was I thinking choosing it? UGH!"

She then just decided to get back on her Famicom, as it was now one of the only things that was keeping her slowly descending mind at ease. Out of the new box, she picked up a newer CFL video game, this one was from 1992 (the original was from 1989). She was playing as Saskatchewan, when a knock was heard on her door. She was leading in the fourth quarter 20-12 against the Calgary Stampeders, but she abruptly stopped the game to answer the door.

It was Watari and Tsubaki. "Hey, you guys..." she said listlessly to the two. "Kaori, are you okay?" Tsubaki asked. Kaori just sighed and said "I guess..." Watari said "Yeah, it's about Kousei again, huh? My heart breaks for him. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying my best to keep a brave face, but it can be hard for me, too. I know your mind, and Tsubaki's is just tearing apart over all this." Kaori sighed, again. "Yeah..." Tsubaki then suggested something. "Are you up for a little walk around town?" Kaori agreed. "Yeah, sure. Let's walk."

The three discussed how their friend was seemingly fading fast, and what had happened to their dear friend since March. Kaori started with "OK, guys. I haven't actually seen Kousei since last month. All the information I'm getting from him is from Hiroko Seto, who is his mentor. I think you saw him before the Gala in May. She's been sharing all the info, and it's quite ghastly and scary. The guy's skull fractured when he got hit by the bus, and his spine broke because he went flying in the air, and it got damaged as he came down to the ground; and what's really heart-breaking is that tall the damage that's been done to him? Irreversible. I mean, this guy who was living in his own prison at one time, meets someone like me, and then gets into all these accidents and has some sort of disease his mother has? Good lord, that is a recipe for tragedy."

Tsubaki lamented "Tell me about it. We can't bear to see him like that, all messed up! He's fallen faster than the Roman Empire!" Watari then added "I've known the guy for a damn long time. I know he's gone through some crap in the past, and that sometimes he avoided the both of us, but to go through all this? It's like I don't even know the guy anymore." Kaori said "Tell me about it. All I've done this summer is listen to Canadian football games on the radio and play my Famicom. I haven't played the violin much, as I've been largely worried about the guy. My mind... It's like I'm wandering aimlessly. Wandering around in circles. He's becoming like a slow-motion car wreck, it just breaks your heart to even look at him, but at the same time you can't just look away! It's like... a morbid curiosity. Alas, I guess that must be human nature."

Watari said "By the way, how's your favorite CFL team doing?" Kaori said "You mean the Saskatchewan Roughriders? They're doing OK, they're at 6-3 and in second place in the CFL West Division." Watari then said "Good to know, Kaori. Well, you did mention Hiroko Seto earlier. What about her?"

Kaori then had a moment of clarity. "Oh, her. Yeah, she and I have talked quite a bit in the past few months. I think she is the big sister I never had... given how she knew Kousei so well, she's almost become like a pillar that's holding me up in this trying time." Tsubaki said "She is quite nice, from what I heard. She's also a talented pianist, who's pretty renowned around here." Watari nodded and said "Yeah. Now we're left wondering what's going to happen to him soon?"

Kaori then brought the two up to speed. "OK, Hiroko told me yesterday he'll have to go under the knife on September 7. Because of how badly damaged his brain has, alongside with the unknown illness his mom had that he has, they can only do so much to help him... but even at this, I do hope he will pull through. I also wonder to myself what'll happen to me if he doesn't make it?" Watari and Tsubaki grew even more concerned. Watari started with "Well... if he doesn't make it, then well... you will have us, Kaori. And Hiroko, too."

Tsubaki said "You poor thing, Kaori. Everything has just been a blur to you, and it has been for us. We're just as worried as you are." Kaori shed a few tears, then started to cry. "Yeah... .if this will be it for him, well... he's had a good life. I sometimes blame myself for pushing him, but..." Tsubaki said "It's _not_ your fault. We all tried to help him. And we tried our best. We can only do so much for a guy who's just been so severely damaged..." Watari then started crying. "Same here... our Kousei... now on the verge of death... I can't bear to look at him either."

Tsubaki had the bravest face of the three at this moment. "We all must keep ourselves together. Somehow, we'll pull through. But for now... Let's just try and keep ourselves from breaking apart over this. We have each other. We must have each other." The three then got their fists together, and both Kaori and Watari stopped crying momentarily. "ALL FOR ONE... AND ONE FOR ALL." This was the same battle cry that Kaori had Kousei say at the Gala.

That evening, Kousei was being kept under observation at the hospital. Not much progress had been made in the two and a half weeks since, but that would all change momentarily. He was being propped up by his hospital bed because of the damaged spine.

"Kousei, how are you doing?" One male nurse asked. Kousei replied with "Not... so... good... I have... no... idea... where... I... am... or... what my... name... is... who... am... I? Brain... short-circuiting... headache... incoming..."

As the two male nurses were checking on how he was, Kousei began trembling slowly, and this trembling became more violent by the minute. "Oh, my god... Mr. Arima is having a seizure! CONTROL HIM, QUICK!" one of the nurses said. As Kousei continued to tremble violently, this was one of the most apparent signs of his nerve damage: He was having a grand mal seizure and it took four doctors to keep him together and stable. This was now the biggest sign of what the blows to the head had done to him. His brain had all but short-circuited; his amnesia had grown even worse since the third accident; this is why he said he couldn't remember his name or even where he currently was.

Later that day, they had found out he had a brain aneurysm stemming from the head trauma (which was the cause of the seizure) and the decision was made to operate him earlier than expected... on August 31.

As the doctors engaged in a conference call, they briefed each other on the situation. "Mr. Kousei ArIma had a very huge seizure this evening. We did some scans, and it turns out the reason for the seizure was that he had a brain aneurysm" said one of the doctors. A second one said "As a result, we must operate on him immediately, due to the rather dire situation he is facing." The four doctors that met agreed that he would have to go under the knife much sooner than expected because of this turn of events; it was now imperative that he be operated on posthaste.

As this summer was coming to an end, Kousei Arima, once one of the most renowned young pianist in Japan, was now hanging on by a thread for his life. He wouldn't even know whether he would survive this ordeal this time, given his diminished mental faculties. It was shaping up to becoming the most tragic summer of all.


	42. Miserable-Piano on the Beach

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 28, 2019

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CHAPTER 42: DESPERATE, HOPELESS, ALONE, AND UNLOVED/PIANO ON THE BEACH

It was now August 31. Summer was nearing its end. Takahiko Arima reacted with fear at his home with Hiroko as they were informed of Kousei's dire situation.

At home, Takahiko was all by himself this time. "Mr. Arima, due to the three blows to the head your son has suffered in the space of several months, he suffered a very large grand mal seizure yesterday, stemming from a brain aneurysm he suffered. As a result of this, we have had no choice to move up the surgery to today. We think it is rather unlikely he will survive, but if by a very small chance he does, we'll let you know either way."

Takahiko said with tears flowing from his eyes, "Understood..." In turn, Takahiko briefed Hiroko over the phone. "Hiroko, my dear Kousei had a seizure because of a brain hemorrhage, and he has to be operated on today. They've flown in three neurosurgeons from the United States and Canada to work on my son." Hiroko shared just about the same feelings as Takahiko. "I see... this is unbelievable... Kousei, in dire need of surgery... yes, I hear you, Takahiko."

After two more minutes over the phone between Hiroko and Kousei's father, Hiroko then hugged her daughter Koharu tightly. "Kousei... hang in there... if only there was a way to express how you are loved..." Takahiko looked wistfully at the bright sunny summer sky. "My dear Kousei... there are lots of people who love you, who care about you... please, stay with me..."

There were 20 people in the operating room on this very warm and muggy day. Because of the oppressive 88 degree F/31 degree C heat outside, the operating theater had its air conditioning turned on, with a few electric air circulator fans surrounding it, as most of these people would be here for most of the day; they didn't want the area to be spread around by the very hot temperatures on this summer day. The whirring of the fans could be heard throughout the room. The three neurosurgeons from the United States and Canada had flown in the day before, and were ready to work on Kousei and his severely damaged brain. Kousei would be surrounded by mostly men in white or light blue suits.

With so many people ready to operate on the just about severely ailing Kousei Arima, who was slowly drifting off into oblivion. As an oxygen mask was on his mouth and just before they sedated him, all the once-bright Kousei, with his bare chest exposed again, could think about was how desperate, hopeless, alone and unloved he was now. He had another inner monologue before the surgery was to begin; he was to be operated on his head and his mid-section.

_What happened to me? My whole world... just when it seemed like I was finally to start seeing color after being in the dark for so long, starts to come back in to monotone, and worse yet, things are now fading into black. I'm very scared. It feels like I am losing the struggle within, I feel like I am falling down and falling apart with each passing day. I don't know whether I can take this anymore... I'm in so much pain... I feel so unloved... nobody goddamn loves me... I want to be alone... I just want to be in another world... please... take me now... I can't take this much longer! If I survive this, then I'll try and end my own damn life! Take me to another damn world! Please, just TAKE! ME! NOW!_

As he thought about this, tears were actually flowing from Kousei's eyes. One of the operating doctors wiped away his tears, trying to reassure Kousei that everything would be okay. "It'll be okay, Mr. Arima..." However, by now, his hearing was nearly gone, so he couldn't hear those reassuring words. Just then, his operation started. Kousei was now under anesthesia, but even at this, tears continued to flow from his eyes. The doctors could see the rather extensive damage Kousei had undergone on his brain, what with the head trauma having aggravated his condition inherited by his mother...

Kousei then had another dream, and this one would take him to quite an idyllic place.

~DREAM SEQUENCE~

MUSICAL NOTE: "Crystal Ball" by Miya Yamase

_じっと見つめて  
__魔法のボール  
__あなたと生きる 未来が今  
__映るはずよ_

_Jitto mitsumete  
__Mahō no BŌRU  
__Anata to ikiru mirai ga ima  
__Utsuru hazu yo_

_Watch closely  
__At the magic ball  
__With your life, the future is present  
__As it should reflect_

In the dream, Kousei found himself dressed in an all-white tuxedo. His dream took him to a beach, almost like that on the Santa Monica Harbor in Los Angeles, California. On that beach, was a white platform. Kousei put his hand above his eyes to get a better look at what was on that white platform. "What... is that? Is that it, a piano on the beach?" Sure enough, on it, was a grand piano. "Hey, look at that! It is a piano on the beach! I was right!" Kousei looked in awe at the piano. He started playing, and in this dream, at least, he was his old self that was the master of the piano. As he played the song, a smile beamed down on his face.

_たとえ不幸が  
__待っててもいい  
__愛がさすらう運命だけ  
__知りたいから_

_Tatoe fukō ga  
__Mattete mo ii  
__Ai ga sasurau unmei dake  
__Shiritaikara_

_Even though misfortune  
__Is currently awaiting  
__And love wanders, it's only destiny  
__You wish to know_

Of course, it wouldn't be a nice dream for Kousei without Kaori showing up. She was wearing a white dress, and high heels. She was quite beautiful. Kaori smiled at the tuxedo clad Kousei as she ran onto the platform, with her violin and bow in her hands, saying "Hey, Kousei! Don't forget about me, buddy!" Kousei smiled at Kaori and said "Would I ever forget about you, Kaori? NO!" he said cheerfully. Kaori looked at Kousei's white tuxedo. She smiled, and remarked "Hey, our dress and your tux both match!" she said with a happy voice. "You look handsome today, Kousei. Let's perform a duet at no one will forget on this beach!" The two performed the song _Crystal Ball_.

_白い霧が晴れてゆくわ  
__そして固く抱きしめあう  
__二人..._

_Shiroi kiri ga harete yuku wa  
__Soshite kataku dakishime au  
__Futari..._

_The white fog will clear away  
__And so firmly embraced  
__Are two people..._

As the two continued to perform on the white platform on the beach, people watched in awe over these two young musicians perform. They were quite entranced by what they saw.

_いつか別れに  
__引き裂かれても  
__水晶の中 見えた愛を  
__信じていて_

_Itsuka wakare ni  
__Hikisaka rete mo  
__Suishō no naka mieta ai wo  
__Shinjite ite_

_Sometimes, there are goodbyes  
__And separation too  
__Inside the crystal, see the love  
__And believe in it_

It had finally reached a point where many of Kousei and Kaori's friends, even Kaori's mother and father with Kousei's father were watching the two perform on that platform. As the two performed, both of them just smiled at each other approval over their performances.

_青い月の光浴びて  
__輝き出す水晶球  
__ごらん_

_Aoi tsuki no hikari abite  
__Kagayaki dasu suishō-kyū  
__Goran_

_Bathed in the light of the blue moon  
__Is the bright surface of the crystal ball  
__Have a look_

As day turned into night, their performances over the full moon lighting up the night sky on the beach made for a wonderful scene. By then, most of the people had dispersed, knowing that it was quite late now.

_白い霧が晴れてゆくわ  
__そして固く抱きしめあう  
__二人_

_Shiroi kiri ga harete yuku wa  
__Soshite kataku dakishime auF  
__Futari_

_The white fog will clear away  
__And so firmly embraced  
__Are two people..._

As the dream sequence end and the song neared its end, Kousei and Kaori, as they embraced each other, smiled at each other again. Kaori said "Kousei... I'm the light of your life." Kousei said "And you are the light of my life, too... may this wonderful feeling NEVER end..." Kaori said as the two hugged "Yes, may this wonderful feeling of ours be never-ending..."  
~END DREAM SEQUENCE~


	43. It's All Gone'

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 29, 2019

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CHAPTER 43: "IT'S ALL GONE..."

~TWO DAYS LATER~

_And now, the results of this week's CFL action. The Saskatchewan Roughriders lost the Toronto Argonauts, 32-21, the B.C. Lions beat the Winnipeg Blue Bombers 30-24..._

It was now September 2. It had been two days since Kousei's operation. Having been largely left in the dark about Kousei, Kaori was feeling listless, going through the motions daily and just running on emotional fumes. She woke up on this warm early September day, clad in her Saskatchewan Roughrider team T-shirt. She was feeling all blah inside.

"It's too damn hot today... what am I doing? Poor Kousei... I want to know how he is... but I don't know what's going on with him. Oh, what do I care? I should probably get back on my violin."

With that, Kaori just got out her violin and bow out of its case once again and started playing. Unfortunately, it was now clear that thanks to all those worries about Kousei consuming her, her violin skills were now completely gone. She sounded like someone that had no experience on the violin at all. This was now all coming home to roost for Kaori, her worries over Kousei. She stopped playing, looked at her hands, looking somewhat frail and weak, and she looked over her situation.

"What happened to me? It's gone... It's all gone. This just sucks! My mind... is all jumbled up because of poor Kousei! Oh, I can't do this anymore... I've faltered completely! I'm doubting myself, and worst of all, I can't even play the violin worth shit anymore! I used to play the violin so magnificently. But all these months worrying about Kousei and doubting myself... they've caught up with me. My violin skills have gone kaput! Oh, dear lord, this is terrible! All these years of training, wasted, down the drain! Ah, screw this, why did I ever choose the damn violin! I'm going to just play my Famicom! What's the use, dammit?! The violin is now of no consequence or interest to me anymore!" She then just put away her violin and bow back in its case, just feeling defeated over this turn of events.

Kaori then went back into the living room of her residence and looked over the new plastic box that contained the additional 50 Famicom games that she had found recently. One of the games that caught her eye this time was Konami's _Road Fighter_. Indeed, given the fact that she just couldn't play the violin to save her life anymore, all that was keeping her from going full-on catatonic was playing her Famicom games and walking on the _WALK THIS WAY_ line she had marked in her room. Both seemed to be doing a good enough job from stopping her from going insane completely. However, this would soon change, as a huge dam of emotions would break through her.

Meanwhile, Watari and Tsubaki took a walk around Tokyo. They, too, were left in the dark about Kousei, and had no idea how he was holding up. They also were unaware of the seizure that led to his emergency surgery.

Watari lamented "This has been a terrible summer, Tsubaki. I can't believe that our Kousei, in such a short amount of time went from being all happy about things after shunning us for a while, to just about on the brink of death."

Tsubaki nodded. "You know, I can't help but think about this... what if that day comes when he finally does go? I know I don't want to think about, but sometimes, for me... it just creeps up in my mind. What did a guy like Kousei Arima _ever_ do to deserve three blows to the head and lose his left foot?" Watari said "I don't know. I just found out that had PTSD from all those times his mother was just, well... cruel to her. I guess when you have that, plus all these tragic events that happen to you now, it's a recipe for tragedy."

Tsubaki then said "And poor Kaori... we're just with her, just watching Kousei from a distance, just slowly deteriorating into nothing. How do you think _she'll_ be when Kousei finally bites the dust?!" Watari then noticed "You know, you're right. She's now walled herself off from us, just watching Canadian football games and playing her Famicom. Is this what's become of her, too, like Kousei before she met Kaori? I hope that she gets better soon, and that Kousei, does too. I think we're _both_ getting worried about Kaori and Kousei... and quite frankly, I'm scared." "Me too, Watari... I fear of what will happen when Kousei's world finally collapses, and Kaori's does with it, as well..."

Later that night, Takahiko and Hiroko received a phone call. They would be in for quite a surprise over how Kousei fared in his major surgery. He had to be operated on his brain, mostly, but they also operated on him on a few other places that was related to the condition that his mother had.

"Good evening, Mrs. Seto and Mr. Arima, we do have some good news regarding your son, Kousei. By some miraculous way, he DID survive the operation. There is some bad news, however: Your son is in _even_ worse shape than before. In addition to the fact that he can no longer walk, he is nearly both blind _and_ deaf. On top of this, he is confined to a wheelchair, and he is malnourished as well, because of this, he can no longer eat solid foods; his speech has also now slowed down to a near-crawl; he is nearly paralyzed. Sadly, what we will do with him next remains unknown, but will try and revisit this issue sometime in the near future with you, Mr. Arima." Takahiko started to cry. "Oh, my god... so he's doing okay, but is worse off than before? Oh, damn..." Hiroko then asked "Well, what is going to happen to him?"

The doctor said "The problem is, he is a semi-vegetable now. He is usually up for like, 6 or 7 hours per day, and then goes back out of consciousness. The brain damage he suffered was so severe, we do believe that he has CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy), which is normally a condition seen in athletes. It is hard to believe, but Kousei has been in the equivalent of about, by our count, 100 car crashes because of these three blows to the head. Sadly, this is why we think he has only a year, at best, left in him. I'm sorry, Mr. Arima, and Mr. Seto, we have tried our best, but we are almost out of options left for Kousei..."

Takahiko broke down and cried, and abruptly ended the call. "Thank you... goodbye. I'm sorry, I can't talk any further... my heart just breaks right now..." As the phone call ended, Takahiko was now sobbing. "I can't believe it... my son... once the brightest musical stars in this country... is almost on his last legs now..."

Hiroko then tried to comfort Kousei's father. "It's not your fault, Takahiko. We have tried _our_ best to help Kousei get out of his personal hell... but these unfortunate events were just too much for him. I think I, alongside with his friend, Kaori, should see him again soon... because who knows where he'll go from here." Takahiko said "Okay... thank you for coming by to see me... life is just damn unfair..." Hiroko then continued to hug the sobbing Takahiko Arima into the night.


	44. Beyond the Point of No Return

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 29, 2019

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CHAPTER 44: BEYOND THE POINT OF NO RETURN

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: Some strong language is in this chapter, again; also, mentions of suicide. Reader discretion is advised.

Even though Kousei survived his surgery, the fact that he was in a worse off state than before had him even more suicidal than before. He was only awake for at least 6 or 7 hours a day, and what little movements he made were mostly limited to little speech, and mostly movements to his arms, which were slow. His eyesight was nearly gone, as was his hearing; as a result of his diminished eyesight, his glasses, which were part of his look, were of no use to him anymore, and he could no longer wear them; he was being kept on life support for most of the day; only waking up sporadically for special care when needed. His neurological state was just severely bad, and he could no longer communicate in full sentences, or even remember simple things, like his name.

With what little he could see, Kousei looked at his body, which was looking malnourished with his ribs in plain view, but they were mostly covered up by bandages, and his arms and legs were also frail looking. He couldn't believe he _even_ survived the operation, when it was expected he wouldn't. Kousei had another inner monologue.

_What? I'm still here? I thought I was going away. I can't believe it; I survived this damn thing? That's it! I need at least a day to stew over it, but I will try to find a way to just end my damn life on my own terms. I don't know how I'll do it, but I'm going to do it! I'm beyond the point of no return... I can NEVER play the piano again, I have my mother's damn illness, and she's dragging me down! I guess this must be her way of punishing me from beyond the grave. All of my achievements, accomplishments, years of training... WASTED! ON ALL THIS SHIT!_

However, he would have to try and brush off any suicidal thoughts if Kaori, Hiroko and/or his own father, Takahiko, were present with him. He knew he was at the end of his rope, but he couldn't _dare_ tell his friends about that, or even any of his medical staff that was overseeing him.

At Kaori's residence, she was sitting on her bed, wearing a tank top and sweatpants, just looking listless. She was listening to a CFL game on the clock radio of hers, but it didn't involve her Saskatchewan Roughriders, but instead the Edmonton Eskimos and Montreal Alouettes. She was listening to the game while tossing around her CFL ball. Just then, a call from Hiroko Seto came in. Kaori answered it, as she put down her CFL ball.

"Yes, Hiroko? What's new?" Hiroko then briefed Kaori on what had happened to Kousei. "OK, Kaori, it's been a week or so, so I'll get down to the nitty-gritty. A few days ago, Kousei had a very large seizure, as a result of a brain aneurysm from the head trauma and had to be operated on the next day. While he _did_ survive the surgery, he is, unfortunately, in worse shape than before. He spends only six hours out the whole day awake, and he is just sleeping for the remainder of that. It's just that dire, Kaori... the medical staff is saying he's experienced major amnesia, and cannot remember his own name or other such things; they also stated he doesn't even have any memory of his life before the third accident."

Kaori then shed a few tears. "Okay... let's go see him this afternoon, Hiroko." Hiroko then continued on. "By the way, Kaori, if I may ask... How are you doing?" Kaori sighed and said "Not so well. I can't even play the damn violin anymore to save my life because of Kousei. Now I'm just spending my days playing on the Famicom, looking up stuff on the internet about Canadian football, and walking on that strip of tape that says _WALK THIS WAY_ in my room. It's just that dire." Hiroko said "I hear you. I've been spending quite a bit of my days just cuddling with my daughter, Koharu. I'll see you later."

That afternoon, with Kaori wearing her Roughrider jersey, ran into Hiroko at a bus stop. Yes, it was early September, but that part of the month is still in summer, so it was rather hot and steamy today. "Nice jersey, Kaori... you know, I can tell you like the Riders a lot..." Kaori said "Yeah... so, where is Kousei?" Hiroko said "Well... He is in the hospital, but he can be seen pretty soon. I must warn you, though, you and I will likely have a hard time seeing him in the state that he is in now. So, with that said, are you ready to see Kousei?" Kaori, choked up, agreed and said "Yes..."

They got to the hospital, where a wheelchair bound Kousei, with a nasal cannula attached to his nose, wearing a neck brace, and whose eyes were like that of a dead fish, almost blank without any sort of life at all. He was without his glasses, as his eyesight had largely disappeared and they were of no use to him anymore. Understandably, the two looked heartbroken over seeing the almost-moribund Kousei. It was a far cry from what he had looked like in spring when he first met Kaori and actually brought him happiness. The male nurse said "This is Kousei, right here. You will have one hour together."

Kaori thought to herself, as she put her hands to her mouth in horror _Oh, my god... this guy's got one foot in the grave!_ As she thought this a few tears cascaded down Kaori's eyes. "I tried to tell you, Kaori... this is what has become of Kousei, sadly." Kousei then said to Hiroko "Hiroko... has... my head... finally... fallen... off... now? What... is... my... name?" Again, the amnesia was a side-effect of what he had gone through in the past several months.

Kaori asked Hiroko to have a moment to herself and Kousei on the rooftop. "Can I have some time with Kousei, please?" Hiroko agreed. "Yes, Kaori. Take a little bit of time for him." As Kaori and the wheelchair-bound Kousei, who was clad in a hospital gown, a pair of sweatpants, and his head wrapped in bandages over the blows to the head made their way to the rooftop of the hospital, taking an elevator up there, one could see how muggy and warm it still was. Just then, a few of the bandages fell of Kousei's head, exposing his hair.

As Kaori tried to pick up the fallen bandage, a few locks of Kousei's hair fell on her hands, and a few strands of it flew away in the mild wind. There were a few bald spots on Kousei's head because of all this, and now one of the side effects of the operation was that his hair was falling in places. Also present was the stump on his left leg were his left foot once was. His situation was now at its most dire.

"Dear lord... you're losing weight, and now you're losing your hair. What happened to you?" Kousei couldn't hear much of what she was saying. "Kaori... is... that... you?" Since his eyesight was almost gone, and on top of the fact he was no longer wearing his glasses, it was hard for him to tell that it _was_ Kaori talking to him. But he saw a little glimpse of the green jersey she was wearing and recognized it. "Yes, it is me, Kousei. My god... I just can't stand to see you like this. My heart's going to break in many pieces..." Kousei then asked, "Will... I... ever... be... okay... again?" A butterfly came up to Kousei's left hand. He said, asking Kaori "Is... this... a... butterfly?"

Kaori then said "Yes, it is a butterfly." The butterfly then flew away. "And you have to be. You were once one of the greatest young pianists in Japan, but then all these goddamn accidents happen to you and now you're a shadow of your former self. I just can't help but cry seeing you!" Kousei then asked "I... still... want... to... believe... that... I... will... see... the... piano... again. Come... with... me..." He then pointed to an area on the observation deck.

Kousei then pantomimed, slowly, with the hands of his frail body, him playing the piano once again. "This... was... my... dream... my... mother... prodded me... for... a long... time... I... loved... her... despite... her... constant... coldness... towards... me... then... you... saw... me... I... promised... you... I'd... play... with... you... again... can... I... tell... you... how... I... really... feel about... you...?" Kaori had come to the stark realization that her mother, Saki, had made her play the piano and eventually molded into someone that would eventually be machine-like in his playing... until he met Kaori. Sadly, even as she put two and two together, Kaori was just rather heartbroken.

She then broke down and, in the heat of the moment, angrily realizing that even though he was her motivation, the constant worrying about him over the past few months had caused her violin skills to diminish completely, yelled to him, "God-fucking-dammit! I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TAKEN UP THE VIOLIN BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU KILLED OFF MY SKILLS! AND NOW, SINCE ALL THESE GODDAMN ACCIDENTS HAPPENED TO YOU, YOU WANT TO JUST TRY AND END YOUR LIFE SOON! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I SHOULD NEVER HAVE PLAYED THE VIOLIN! I SHOULD NEVER HAVE FUCKING MET YOU, KOUSEI ARIMA!"

Kaori left behind Kousei on the rooftop. She stormed out of the hospital sobbing and pulling her hair out in anger. All of this was becoming overwhelming for Kaori, who just left Hiroko in the dust, metaphorically speaking. Hiroko, realizing how distressed Kaori was, left her alone. It was then Hiroko's turn to talk to Kousei.

Hiroko, being more motherly, said "Kousei... we believe there might be some hope you, but we are all so worried about you. Hang in there..." Kousei then whispered into Hiroko's ear. Since Kousei was borderline deaf, he couldn't hear much of what Kaori had yelled to him. "Don't... tell... anyone... else... any... of... this... but... I... don't... know... how... much... time... I... have... left. First... Kaori... means... the... world... to... me. Secondly... I... just... might... end... my... own... life... soon. How... I'll... do... it... I... don't... know... but... it... will... happen... soon. I'm... sorry... Hiroko..."

Both of them shed tears together. "You are the light of everyone's life, Kousei, despite what your mother did to you... remember that. And remember us, please..." Kousei, with his limited speech, then said to Hiroko "I'm... a... goner..." to which she responded with "No you won't, not in any of our hearts..." Little did Hiroko and Kaori both know, that this would be the last time either of them would see Kousei alive again.

That night, Ryoko and Yoshiyuki saw their daughter, sobbing into her Rider jersey. Ryoko asked her "Are you okay, Kaori, dearie?" Kaori said "No... Kousei Arima... he's fading into oblivion. I yelled at him that I should never have taken up the violin because of him, and that I should never have met him... but yet, just before his surgery... he texted me this."

_Kaori-chan... please, don't tell anyone else, but on some days, you are the only thing that makes me to get up in the morning. _

She kept stored in her phone log for a while, but she finally told her parents the truth. Yoshiyuki told Kaori "Kaori, darling... he does care for you. I don't know whether you want to tell him again... but I hope you can get that chance. People you know, even though he's gone through so much... they love him for his piano playing." Kaori said and said "But yet, there's part of me that feels like I've failed him... and that it's my fault he suffered three blows to the head and lost his damn left foot! Life is unfair!"

Ryoko then saw Kaori about to sob completely, which she did, and the two embraced each other "Kaori, dearie... I know, you are not to blame for Kousei's problems... they've just been strokes of bad luck for him. You have to be there for him..." Kaori "Yes, I understand..." and then bawled like a baby over all this. She was on the verge of becoming a complete emotional mess. She was now filled with regret for yelling at Kousei earlier, and realized she had made a major mistake, as well.

Even though Hiroko and Kaori were trying to keep brave faces in spite of Kousei's decline, it was becoming hard for both females to do so, seeing that he had declined considerably since the successful surgery.

Meanwhile, that night, Kousei had continued to stew over his decision to end his own life by any means possible. However, a chance encounter would make him decide that decision...


	45. Out of Hope, Out of Time

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 29, 2019

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CHAPTER 45: "I'M WAITING FOR YOU..."/OUT OF HOPE, OUT OF TIME

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: Needless to say, this is the darkest chapter in this whole story. It contains a description of suicide and substance abuse. I know that both topics are sensitive to some people, so if these things offend you in any way, please DO NOT read any further. If you do choose to read this, please do so with an open mind and a sense of responsibility for your own actions. Reader discretion IS ADVISED. Thank you.

Also, this is NOT the end of the story yet.

* * *

Kousei was, by now, connected to a bunch of machines that kept him alive, in spite of the fact he was only awake for six hours on any certain day; he was just about near-paralyzed; the brain damage he had suffered was very severe; he was more or less kept on life support (being put into a medically-induced sleep for most of the day due to the state of his brain), only awakening for a few hours out of the day for observation by his medical staff (so he could try and talk to them, even with his slurred and limited speech); He still couldn't believe he had survived his operation; he was feeling even more desperate by the day.

An old friend of Kousei's came to visit him in his hospital room that night. Who visited? Why, the ghost of his mother, Saki, came to visit him again in his dream. This was during the time he was awake for the sake of observation.

"Kousei... Kousei... it's me, your mother, Saki." Kousei woke up temporarily. "Yes... who... is... it? Mom? Is... that... you?" The ghost of his mother smiled and said, "Who else? You remember me, dear son. Alright, let me tell you some things. So, you've hit your head a few times and are now in this state? Well... I have some news. The disease that killed me? It's hereditary, and sadly, you have it too. And given what you've gone through, son, it's only a matter of time now that your life will be over." Kousei then said "I... guess..."

The ghost of Saki continued on. "Well... I never thought I'd say this, but try and please, end you life soon. By any means possible. Whether it be naturally, or by doing it yourself by any means possible. I don't know how you will be doing it, but just end it. Please forgive me for all the pain that I inflicted on you in the past. Know that I love you deeply, and that you are my son. NEVER forget this. I just wanted you to be accurate to the score, and I demanded NOTHING but the very best from you. And, I felt, by the time I died, I did my job, too. Those friend of yours? Please, leave them behind... I want to be with you again, by your side. I miss the days when I would talk to you and help mold you into the best pianist out there... so please, won't you join me on the other side? Take some time... to remember me. Think about me. I am your mother... and I want to be with you again soon. I'm waiting for you, Kousei, dearie... remember that I will always love you." The ghost of Saki disappeared. Kousei had made up his mind.

He had now made firm in his decision, that he would try and end his life by _any_ means possible. _That's it... my mom... I want to be with her again. All this pain inside... is becoming too much for me... almost like a huge weight on my shoulders. It is time... to finally end my life... should I do it naturally or just end it all right now?_

But Kousei preferred doing it himself, if given a choice between ending his life naturally or ending with it on his own terms, as his whole body was just about on its last legs by now; he was also clinically depressed. It was clear he was, deep down inside, feeling hopeless, desperate, and unloved, something which he had concealed well when anybody near and dear to him was near him. He then thought to himself _That's it. I'll end my life by my own hand... it's my only way out of this purgatory I'm in..._

The next day, on the 4th of September, Kousei ordered someone to make a second letter, explaining why would try and take his own life to one of the hospital staff members. Kousei asked that this be kept hush-hush, so as to not surprise anyone. Because of how slow Kousei was speaking, this took several hours, but it got done, and it was printed off a computer, alongside with Kousei's first letter explaining his feelings towards Kaori and his friends; these two letters made out to his friends were NOT to be read until after his death, whenever that would be.

However, it seemed like most of the ideas of ending his own life, because of his limited strength, namely, running himself over with a train or even another bus was out of the question, as it would require too much strength to pull off. On top of this, he didn't want to disturb the hospital staff that were overseeing him, who oversaw him for most of the days, outside of late nights.

Almost a week passed, and by the wee hours of the morning of September 10 and being forced into sleep for much of the day and sometimes during the night, Kousei was largely out of ideas to end his life. No other ideas were coming to him, as all of the ideas he had drummed up would require too much effort. Stabbing himself was out of the question, cutting himself would also require too much strength, in addition to having the hospital staff monitoring him constantly. He was slowly withering away, and his body was still failing him.

The doctors discussed their options with Kousei, but another operation would be the likeliest course of option for someone like him. While he would normally be kept asleep for most of the day and night, on this particular occasion, however, somebody forgot to follow the procedure of putting himself into the medically-induced slumber.

Just then, something sprang to Kousei. It was an idea. _How about... I just end my life by overdosing on some pills? Why didn't I think of this earlier?!_ _I am just about out of hope... and soon, I'll be out of time. This is my only way out, overdosing!_ Just as he made this decision, Kousei found a bottle of sedatives, Chlorpromazine, used for sedation for surgery, on a counter that was actually within his reach. He looked at it what it was with his very limited eyesight.

_Chlorpromazine... So, this is what this hospital uses for surgery. Well, this is it. I'm going to swallow these pills, and it will be the end of my suffering. Nobody even goddamn loves me anymore... no one will miss me._ Kousei opened the bottle, which took him quite a bit since he couldn't move his hands that well. He looked at how many pills there were. Ten of them.

Kousei, with tears flowing from his frail eyes on his face, swallowed all ten of the pills simultaneously without any water, which took him a good amount of time with his limited strength to consume. He also had limited time to give out his final words. "Kaori... Tsubaki... Watari... Hiroko... dad... this... is... goodbye... I... love... you... Kaori... I'm... sorry... I've... failed... you... all..."

With that, the teary-eyed Kousei's eyes shut for the last time. One minute had passed by after he consumed the pills, that Kousei Arima's life had officially ended. He was filled with regret over this decision, but it was for the better that it was to be done for him.

Kousei did it. He finally pulled his metaphorical trigger, and it was end of his life and his suffering; five months' worth of accidents and having his mother's disease had finally been too much for Kousei Arima to bear; he had become clinically depressed, and was feeling just about unloved; the head trauma had severely scrambled his brain.

His heart monitor went flat. Nobody was with Kousei when he died. However, two nurses heard the non-functioning heart monitor, and realized what had happened. One of the nurses said in sheer shock "OH MY GOD, MR. KOUSEI ARIMA IS DEAD!" Two doctors came to see what had happened. "I can't believe it. Mr. Arima has died... and I think he overdosed on these pills right here! Who the hell left them here?" As the medical staff convened to figure out what happened, they covered him in a white cloth. They were just in utter shock that Kousei had accessed the pills to end his life, and they realized someone had made a large and fatal mistake; certain procedures had not been followed in Kousei's case here, which led to Kousei's suicide. He had died on the morning of September 10, at 1 AM Tokyo time. Soon, news of this would be disseminated nationwide, then worldwide.


	46. The Most Tragic Day-Empty Rooms

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 29, 2019

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CHAPTER 46: THE MOST TRAGIC DAY/EMPTY ROOMS

CONTENT WARNING: Not surprisingly, there is quite a bit of language here.

That morning, Kaori, who was just about as listless as you can get as she wore her Saskatchewan Roughrider team T-shirt, was playing Tecmo Bowl on the Famicom, playing as Denver. _What do I care? I can't play the damn violin anymore, and all I can do is play video games. What is with me? _She had beaten the game fully and felt happy about herself over this. For her, this was one of those rare moments of comfort, completing a video game in its entirety.

Little did she know, that her whole world was going to be turned upside-down, as she turned off the Famicom momentarily to find another game to play.

A news report flashed on the TV. It read _Piano Prodigy Kousei Arima dead from apparent suicide at 14_.

_The teenage piano prodigy, Kousei Arima, after five months and three episodes of head trauma, died at Totsuhara Hospital this morning at 14. While unconfirmed at this time, it is believed he committed suicide by overdosing on sedatives. Hospital staff are still probing this matter..._

Kaori's (and everyone close to Kousei's) worst fears had finally come to pass: Kousei Arima had pulled his metaphorical trigger. Kaori then began sobbing very hard.

"Oh, my god!" She clutched her hands on her heart. She was devastated. This was shaping up to be the worst day of her life. "GODDAMNIT, HE FINALLY DID IT! KOUSEI KILLED HIMSELF! OH, NO... NO... THIS CAN'T BE FUCKING HAPPENING! NOT GODDAMN KOUSEI... I HAD A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS, AND IT HAPPENED!" Ryoko and Yoshiyuki also saw the news on the TV. Suffice it to say, they were heartbroken as well. They didn't dare talk to Kaori at this very moment as she would try and brush them off again in a fit of rage. It was clear, however, that they were grieving with their daughter.

At Hiroko's place of residence, upon discovering this, she nearly fainted. However, she got back up, and started to cry as well. Hiroko said, "Oh, god, I have just lost something like a little brother or an actual son in Kousei... this pain has me feeling like that my heart just got ripped out of my chest cavity... dear god..."

Takahiko Arima had also found about the news on TV. "My own son... is goddamn dead! What did my son do to EVER deserve this? Was it the blows to the head? Was it because he had same disease my wife had that was passed on to him? I have so many questions, but this is the worst day of my life!" He was sobbing as he hugged a framed picture of his now-deceased son.

That night, Ryoko and Yoshiyuki found their grieving daughter sobbing, looking at a different framed picture of Kousei on her desk. She was still wearing her Rider team T-shirt.

Ryoko asked Kaori "Kaori, darling, what's wrong? Why are you crying? It's about Kousei, right?" Kaori screamed at the top of her lungs "YES!" Yoshiyuki came up to her daughter, saying "Oh, dear! Him... oh, my, Kaori, I am so sorry for your loss! I can't believe it! He was such a great pianist..." Kaori said "Yes, he was... it's not fair that he's dead, dammit!"

Yoshiyuki then said "Kaori, dear... I know how you feel, my dear. I feel your pain. Your mother feels your pain….. we're just as shocked as you over the news of Kousei's death... we saw it on the TV news as well. He killed himself... how very heartbreaking. We can't think of the emotional pain you are going through, Kaori..."

Ryoko then embraced her sobbing daughter, with Yoshiyuki comforting the two females. Ryoko and Kaori then had a tender mother/daughter moment. "It's just so hard to believe... that a guy like Kousei who was once full of life, went into a sharp decline and decided to end his life on his own terms! What would make him do that, Kaori, dearie?"

Kaori said "He hit his head too many damn times! And he had some sort of unknown disease his mom had, and he was just about dying!" Ryoko then told her daughter "That's awful! Kaori, dear, me and your father, dearie... our hearts... they weep for you... please, be brave, dearest Kaori." Kaori then told her mother "I'll try... I'll try to be okay... thank you, mom, dad, I needed this...

The next morning, Kaori was in a state of severe emotional shambles. Having just about cried herself to sleep the previous night, she was now sobbing again, clutching the framed picture of Kousei against her chest. Her Rider T-shirt was still stained with her tears. "I'M NOT OKAY! I'M A COMPLETE EMOTIONAL WRECK! Oh, Kousei... I thought we had something special, I thought we were going to make beautiful music together... it has only been a day and I already miss you so much... LIFE IS GODDAMN UNFAIR!" For Kaori, the pain was just all too unbearable. She had been a girl who had everything got swept away from under her feet, but what she got in return was a severe case of a broken heart.

~START MONTAGE~

MUSICAL NOTE: "Empty Rooms" by Gary Moore

_Loneliness is your only friend,  
A broken heart that just won't mend,  
is the price you pay._

The scene around Sumiya Junior High School, which had restarted classes that week, was a very morose one: A makeshift memorial for Kousei was set up near the entrance, with many students of both genders crying their eyes out. In the music preparation room where Kousei would frequent, a picture of him was posted on the door, with various messages of condolences posted on the door surrounding it. Inside, another picture of Kousei was put on top of the piano that he used to play a lot on. There were also notes of condolence on it, as well.

_Words cannot describe our sorrow in our hearts over your death. A lot of people will miss you, Kousei Arima._

_Kousei Arima... you are forever loved... we will always love you._

_This feeling in our hearts is just very bad for us... Kousei Arima... you were very talented. You will be missed._

_We love you, always and forever, Mr. Arima... may you play that piano in heaven._

Now that he was gone, without Kousei and his iPod in his ears, the empty music room in the school had become way too quiet. There, it was quiet, like an empty husk, and that husk was a mere shell and a shadow. Watari and Tsubaki sobbed into each other as they embraced each other; their long-time friend had finally given up on his life. Their whole world had been frozen. "Our best friend, goddamnit, Tsubaki!" Tsubaki said "Damn it, I would have never had thought it would come down to this! We were childhood friends, and I loved how he was so into music, in truth I really loved him a lot, because of how close we were. I am glad that we got you him and Kaori together though..." They were both sobbing. Nao Kashiwagi was also in tears. "I can't believe it... Tsubaki's friend, Kousei, gone... all because of he hit his head so many times... hard to believe he was going through so much hell, but those accidents, were just goddamn ridiculous..." Nao then sobbed with Watari and Tsubaki.

_It's hard to take when love grows old,  
The days are long and the nights turn cold,  
when it fades away..._

Also feeling shocked over this were Kousei's longtime rivals, Emi Igawa and Takeshi Aiza. Also grieving with them, was Takeshi's little sister, Nagi. "Goddamn it! Kousei took his own life!" Takeshi said first. Emi then said, "Takeshi... I never knew that such a great talented pianist has left us... and by his own hand, at that! All of us young musicians feel a lot of pain today." All three of them were crying. Takeshi said "This guy was our rival, and then all this crap happens to him... dammit... he didn't deserve this! He was just... a god among piano players!" The three embraced each other tightly. "Not Kousei!" Nagi cried as well.

_You hope that she will change her mind,  
but the days drift on and on.  
You'll never know the reason why she's gone..._

_Empty rooms - where we learn to live without love,  
Empty rooms - where we learn to live without love..._

Hiroko Seto, the woman who was Kousei's ward after Saki's death and mentor, was feeling the most pain, right up there with Kaori. She hugged her daughter Koharu as the two cried together over the news. Koharu said "No, mommy! Not Kousei! Why, mommy, why?" Hiroko said in a calm tone of voice in spite of her tears, "He was very sick, Koharu... we are all heartbroken today."

_You see her face in every crowd,  
You hear her voice but you're still proud so you turn away.  
You tell yourself that you will be strong,  
But your heart tells you - this time you're wrong._

Kousei's father, Takahiko, was the most shocked over this news. He had lost his wife, Saki to this illness, and now Kousei had gone her way. Takahiko's life, it seemed, had been a cursed one. Sobbing, he said, as he looked at a picture of her deceased wife and now deceased son, "Kousei... my son... I cannot believe it. I never thought you and your mother were connected, but this is tragic. I wish you had deserved a better fate... but some things were not to be. Life and fate can sometimes just be too cruel for words..."

_Empty rooms - where we learn to live without love,  
Empty rooms - where we learn to live without love,  
Empty rooms - where we learn to live without love..._

~END MONTAGE~

While Kousei had, in his final days, felt unloved, the whole world would soon show him how loved he truly was... even beyond Japan.


	47. Picking Up the Pieces

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 29, 2019

* * *

CHAPTER 47: PICKING UP THE PIECES

It had been three full days now since Kousei's suicide. It was now September 13, and Kaori still hadn't changed out of her bright green T-shirt. She was also all cried out by now. She screamed at the top of her lungs as she covered her face with her hands in anguish, "MY LIFE SUCKS!"

Kaori had literally fallen apart emotionally. "I change this guy's life... this guy captivates me with his piano playing, inspires me to take up the violin, then I get him out of his shell from his tragic past and make him see color... and this is how he repays me, by killing himself?! What the hell did he ever do to deserve that kind of a fate?! He's left a huge hole in my heart! I can't believe I yelled at him when I last met him... my heart, it's been broken into a million little pieces!" She was still filled with remorse over how she yelled at Kousei that she should have never met him when they met for the final time.

On this day, Hiroko Seto knocked on the door of the Miyazono residence. She had one letter that Kousei had written out. Yoshiyuki and Ryoko went over to the door, with Yoshiyuki saying, "Who is this?" "My name is Hiroko Seto."

Ryoko then recognized the name. "Oh, you must be Kousei's friend, and now Kaori's." Hiroko nodded and said, "Yes. I would like to talk to Kaori, please." Ryoko then informed her "Kaori is in her room... she hasn't left in a couple days. She is so horribly distraught over this news, and so are we. I take it you are, too."

Hiroko then said "Yes, very much so. Kousei was like the son I never had." Yoshiyuki then directed Hiroko to Kaori's room. She knocked on the door. "Kaori, are you in there?" Kaori replied with "Yes, it's open. Hiroko, is that you? Please, come on in." Kaori said, a bit choked up, "Hi, Hiroko. You can't imagine how big this crater in my heart is. I've imprisoned myself these past two days, thinking about Kousei. She had a letter in her hands intended for BOTH Hiroko and Kaori.

She had received from Kousei's father, Takahiko which was mailed to him the day he died. "Kaori. I need to talk to you about Kousei. Our hearts, as you know, are still in such severe pain for him. By now, we all know he took his own life on September 10. He wrote this letter, that's meant for both of us. Here, let's give it a read."

The two looked at the first letter. It read:

_Dearest Kaori and Hiroko, if you can read this: It has come to my mind that I cannot continue on my seemingly downward spiral any longer, and that I will end my life on my own terms. Ever since my mother died, I turned tone-deaf because of it, and since this disease of mine came to light, it's really taken a toll on my emotions and my physical health, compounded with my PTSD over her and an increasing sense of failure within me. All of these problems have become too large of a burden for me to bear, and even though she was rough on me, I want to be with my mother again. I've already given all I've got on the piano and with music in this life; even if I was given just this one chance to be free of the figurative shackles my mother bound me to, but this disease has really hindered my playing skills, and I cannot play again, nor can I walk; I'm nearly both blind AND deaf. I'm just about irreparably broken as a person. So, the time has come for me to leave this Earth. Also, consider in mind that the doctors said I had only 3-6 months longer to live, had I chosen to continue down that path. Lastly, please, PLEASE, do NOT consider my choice to take my own life as a sign of cowardice. Instead, see it as a way of freeing myself from all my suffering... and as my only really best way out of all that.  
Once again, to my dearest Kaori and Hiroko: I love you both... Godspeed and farewell.  
-Kousei Arima_

_P.S.: Kaori, I've enclosed a second message for you; it includes my thoughts on things- please read that when you get the chance..._

Kaori was quick to rush to judgment over Kousei's decision. "Dammit, Kousei! How could you still do something so rash and reckless?!" Just then, Hiroko put her hand on Kaori's shoulder and explained the situation to her. "Kaori, hear me out on this, please. You obviously seem to have forgotten about how much pain he was in over the past month or two... he looked rather emaciated, and he could only speak softly and rather slowly; you also could only barely hear what he said. He was nearly paralyzed due to the rather severe brain damage from the head trauma. That, and he was just about borderline deaf and blind, and all that is what led to his decision to end his life... as stated in the letter, the doctors only gave him 3 to 6 months tops to live. The head trauma had only made his disease even worse."

Kaori had a moment of clarity about all this. "You're right... he just wasn't looking good at all in the past month... I almost couldn't recognize the guy. He was a shell of his former self. Now I understand... still, it doesn't take away all the pain it's left on all of us. It sucks, and we hurt from it all." Hiroko then said "It hurts me too, Kaori... but I know all too well what led to him choosing to end his life on his own terms... he just felt completely empty and alone. And, he was just too ill... it really broke my heart seeing him in such a poor state. Except he wasn't alone at all, he had all of us like his own family, even though his mother left him." Kaori then said "You know... now I understand completely, Hiroko... but it still hurts me, you, Tsubaki and Watari bad... it feels like part of me has died, as well... the worst part of this is that we only got to perform twice, and that was it..."

Kaori then sobbed, and Hiroko embraced her. "We are all going to need to be together, because our friendship will keep us strong..."

Later that day, Kaori and Hiroko got a message online stating that Kousei's open-casket memorial viewing would be on the 19th, with a memorial concert to follow at Towa Hall on the 26th of September, the next week. They would have one last chance to say their farewell to Kousei, to a life that was cut short by an unfortunate set of circumstances.


	48. Love Lives On

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 30, 2019

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CHAPTER 48: LOVE LIVES ON

On September 19, a shrine in Nerima, Tokyo, was the site of the open casket viewing of Kousei Arima, whose life was cut short because of a suicide via overdose triggered on by his hereditary disease, exacerbated by three accidents that also produced three episodes of head trauma.

It was 75 degrees F/24 degrees C, near the end of summer, but still fairly warm for this time of year. Many of the mourners that had gathered to see Kousei were many of his friends from within Japan; namely, Kaori Miyazono, Hiroko Seto, Takeshi and Nagi Aiza, Emi Igawa, to name a few.

Kousei's body was dressed in that blue suit he wore at the Gala in May. His head had been shaved off, completely, because the bald patches from the hair loss after his operation made his hair uneven. One could see the scars and dents from all the head trauma he had went through.

Surrounding the casket were a floral arrangement, and a picture of Kousei framed on a fancy frame, with his name in kanji going diagonally on the right side.

Many of the people at the shrine paying their final respects to Kousei Arima, once one of Japan's, and if not the world's brightest young musicians, were crying a lot, as such a bright star had fallen down to Earth, in a dramatic way.

Kaori, in her school uniform, gazed at the lifeless Kousei. She could NOT bear seeing the once-vibrant boy with his life having ended so abruptly. She was crying constantly. "Where's his damn glasses? He can't see without those damn glasses!" She then stopped being hysterical and had some words for him. "I'm sorry, Kousei, that you were going through so much hell. I can't believe I have failed you, and so have many of your friends. You meant so much to us, and me. I just can't bear to see your face like this... it's just tearing me apart! But, yet, we hope that you may rest in peace... I hope so, too..."

Hiroko then spotted the sobbing Kaori. "We should probably go, burn some incense for him though. Kaori, dear, I know how heartbroken you are..." The two females momentarily left the area of the casket.

Next, one of Tsubaki's best friends, Nao Kashiwagi and her friend Keiko (not Keiko Tamura, whom Kousei had run into during his last-ever public performance) wept as they saw Kousei's bald head. "Tragic, beyond tragic... all of these accidents that led to this really became too much for Kousei..." Nao said as she sobbed. "We can't believe it either..." Nao said "Please rest in peace, Kousei... you are now in a better place..."

Then, Takeshi Aiza and Emi Igawa, Kousei's two former rivals, came up to the casket. As expected, the two were also shedding tears; they were just heartbroken that their former rival had ended his life in a very tragic way. Emi said "Takeshi... I never knew that such a great talented pianist was going through so much... he has now left us... all of us young musicians feel a lot of pain today."

Takeshi said "It's just sad seeing him like this. I can't believe he went through those accidents... it seemed like the gods were against him..." Nagi, Takeshi's little sister was sobbing. She was unable to form sentences and seeing Kousei in that state was just too gut-wrenching for her as well. Takeshi, Nagi's older brother, just hugged and embraced each other. Emi said, "Thank you for everything, Kousei." Takeshi then followed with "I hope you rest in peace, Kousei... you're no longer suffering, and you're now among one with the stars now..." At that time, the three left, and as they left, Kousei's father, Takahiko, walked over to Kousei's casket; as his father, he was understandably the most devastated over Kousei's death (and the way that it occurred).

Takahiko was just sobbing, and he took off his glasses as his tears were drenching his glasses, as he said to the deceased Kousei, "My dear boy, I always wanted you to bury me, NOT the other way around. I wanted you to have a full life, and give me grandkids, oh, how I will miss you so much... after all you are my son, but first losing your mother and now you has been a bitter pill to swallow for me... fate is such a cruel mistress. You didn't deserve all these damn accidents to your head and having your mom's disease. Please say hi to Saki for me. This is really heartbreaking... I love you forever, Kousei..."

Just then, Ryoko and Yoshiyuki Miyazono, Kaori's parents, then comforted the sobbing Takahiko. Ryoko said to Kousei's father "It is very sad to see such a young boy, who had his whole life ahead of him, just disappear quietly into the night. Mr. Arima, our hearts, and Kaori's, our daughter... they do weep for you. As a mother, it is just shocking to see what your son went through, and why he ended his life..."

Yoshiyuki said to Takahiko "We can't even fathom the extreme pain you are going through... my daughter is just as devastated as you are over all this... it's really hard to swallow. But remember this, Mr. Arima: Love lives on. He may be gone, but the love for him will live on forever. I speak as a father." Takahiko, Ryoko and Yoshiyuki left the casket and Kaori's mother and father continued to console and comfort Kousei's grieving father, who having lost his wife to an incurable disease, had now seen his own son go her same way.

Hiroko then briefly went back to Kousei's casket. His mentor had some words for his fallen friend, she wasn't sobbing, but was shedding a few tears as she spoke.

"Oh, you poor guy with such great prodigal talent, you left us much too soon, Kousei. When I first saw you, you were a bright young boy, who had his whole life ahead of him... now your flame has been extinguished... snuffed out in an instant. All I can say is that, well... if it is any consolation, you have been reunited with your mother. I hope that you can find comfort in the fact that you are no longer suffering." Hiroko then paused momentarily, then said her final words to Kousei.

"Until we meet again, Kousei..." Hiroko said in a very wistful tone as she left Kousei's casket.

For the rest of this day, so many of Kousei's fellow musicians from across Japan would pay their final respects. It was a very solemn day, indeed. While Kousei himself felt feelings of being unloved due to his clinical depression in his later months after the third accident, a memorial concert at Towa Hall the following week would show how there was much love for him, not just in Japan, but around the world, as well.


	49. The Wind Beneath Our Wings (I)

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 30, 2019

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CHAPTER 49: THE WIND BENEATH OUR WINGS (I)

Three days later, on the 22nd of September, with Kousei now cremated a day earlier, Hiroko Seto briefed Kaori Miyazono at her house about the memorial concert for Kousei on the 26th.

"Okay, Kaori. I think it's time to give you some information on the memorial concert. It will be at Towa Hall, on the 26th. It is called _Kousei Arima: The Wind Beneath Our Wings_. There will be hundreds of young musicians, from all across Japan, and 30 different countries around the world, like the USA, Canada, Germany, Ireland, to name a few. They were specially invited by the World Young Orchestra Foundation, which is organizing the concert. Unfortunately, you have not been invited to perform, but a couple friends of Kousei's will. There will be a mix of old rock songs and classical pieces to be performed. We will attend together, as will Kousei's friends."

Kaori then told Hiroko, "Now that you remind me, my uncle from Canada, Seiya, is coming over from Canada to be with me." Hiroko then said "Wonderful. I think you will like this concert... It will show you how Kousei Arima was loved not just in Japan, but all around the world."

~FOUR DAYS LATER~  
The 26th arrived. Towa Hall was quite packed; as expected, there were many young musicians and their families from Japan, and even quite a few from all around the world as well, all wearing formal wear for an occasion like this. They had come to Japan to remember how Kousei Arima had touched so many lives around the world in his relatively short life. Kaori and Hiroko were amazed by how many people from all over had come to this memorial concert, and the diversity of the crowd in attendance on this day. Tsubaki, Watari, Emi and Takeshi were all there, and were also in awe over the diverse group of people had come as well.

"Wow... my goodness, Hiroko... I can't believe how many people have come. They apparently have come from all over the world... oh, Kousei, I had no idea that your music and death affected everyone from just about every corner in the world... so many people really loved you." Hiroko then said to Kaori, "This has to be a grand stage for him right now. Wow... isn't this wonderful for Kousei? They all came to see and hear him perform... even though he isn't here today." Kaori then said, "Even if it wasn't the quite the way he wanted it, and he can't see it for himself." Hiroko then asked "When will your uncle Seiya show up?" Kaori then informed her "Well, he said he'd show up today. He'll be here any minute now, I think..."

Even in death, Kousei Arima had ultimately achieved his goal. Watari then said "Yeah, it's tragic that Kousei died. But since we're all here, this isn't so bad. We aren't alone in the world after all." Emi nodded. "Yes, Kousei was far from alone..." Takeshi then added "It'll be nice to see all these people from around the world today." Tsubaki then said, "This was Kousei's last dream, to perform in concert for the whole world live... and now he's going to fulfill it..."

Takahiko, Kousei's father, who was being escorted by Ryoko and Yoshiyuki Miyazono, was saddened, but also amazed, like so many of Kousei's friends that were close to him, that so many people had come from all over to pay respects. He said to himself "My dear boy would be so proud..." Ryoko and Yoshiyuki nodded and concurred. "It is really amazing how so many people the world over have come today. So many people, not just within Japan, loved him..." said Ryoko. "This has got to be, despite the sadness that consumed you, Mr. Arima, a very proud day for you and your son." Takahiko said "Yes... I wish Kousei would've been here to see this."

With 30 minutes left until the concert began, each of the attendees had a program for the memorial concert that was called Kousei Arima: The Wind Beneath Our Wings. Hiroko, Kaori, Watari, Tsubaki, Emi and Takeshi all took their seats. As the audience was being seated, there was a lot of chatter going on. On the stage, was a piano and a large picture of Kousei Arima. There was a floral arrangement behind the picture.

Kaori then began to cry a little. She asked Hiroko "Excuse me, I need some time to myself momentarily..." Hiroko agreed.

With the concert attendees still being seated, Kaori went into the hallway, and sat on an empty chair to sob silently to herself, which she did for a minute. Just then, two foreigners came up to her, one male, one female. The male said, "Is your name Kaori Miyazono?" Like many of the attendees from overseas, they had heard of Kousei mostly on YouTube. He was very much known around the world for his performances outside of Japan that way; one such video had Kousei and Kaori performing together, so that's how they knew about her.

Kaori said softly, "Yes." The female foreigner, with dirty blond hair, introduced herself. "I see, Kaori. My name is Lisa Deslauriers (AUTHOR's NOTE: pronounced DEH-lor-E-eh; it's a French-Canadian surname), and I am from Montreal originally, and I live in Vancouver now. I'm from Canada." The male foreigner, with a messy sandy blond hairstyle, then introduced himself. "My name is Brian Madigan, I live in Seattle, Washington. I'm from the USA." Kaori then said to the Canadian and the American, "The concert hasn't started yet, but nice to meet you both... and thank you for coming today."

Lisa then said, "Anytime, Miss Miyazono. Can I talk to you about Kousei? Firstly, how well did you know him?" Kaori then said to Lisa, "He was my best friend and love interest..." Brian then asked "I see. It's just so sad that someone you love the most leaves you behind... what did he mean to you, Miss Miyazono?" Kaori then told them "A most valuable person to my heart. He affected my whole life."

Lisa then said "Good god... that's tragic. Someone that captivates you and us from half a world away... it's just heartbreaking. We got to know Kousei by watching videos of him, and us and a couple of our friends were invited here by the Orchestra Foundation to Japan to pay our respects to him." Kaori then added "Hmmm... I see. He did inspire others to pursue their dreams." Lisa then said Yes. Imagine the heartbreak in the both of us when we found about that Kousei had died... I was getting up for school that day and found out that he had committed suicide... my goodness, it just breaks my heart to know how loved he was, not just here in Japan... but all across the world, even half a world way as both the U.S. and Canada."

Brian then added "I was doing the same thing, when I checked on the internet that Kousei had left this earth... I was shocked, to say the least." Kaori then said to the two, "Kousei would be happy to hear that..." Brian had another question. "If I may ask you, Kaori, what instrument do you play?" Kaori said, "The violin." Lisa remarked "I think I have seen a video or two of you, Kaori. You play magnificently, just as much as Kousei did..."

Kaori said to the two "People have said that, I can play it so recklessly and ruthlessly if anyone can keep up it is sort of like an all fist brawl." Brian then said "Heh. Lisa and I also feel your pain, though. We're just a few people from the U.S. and Canada here for the memorial service... alongside with people from at least 30 different countries. Come here, Kaori, we want to hug you... we feel your pain, too." Kaori said tearfully, "As sad as a day this is, it is nice to see so many people from around the world, especially you two." Lisa told Kaori "This should give you a good idea of how loved he was, not just in Japan, but all around the world over."

Brian then said "Kaori... Lisa and I feel your pain... it also hurts us too..." Just as Kaori was about to sob, she said "More than any this pain is the worst. It hurts." Kaori then sobbed, and as the two foreigners comforted her, she said to them "It's nice to have such good new global friends here."

Brian said, "It's nice to see you, too..." Lisa then said to Kaori "And I speak from Brian's neighbouring country, it's nice to see people from all across the world today." The concert was about to begin, and Kousei Arima, even in death, would be shown at this concert how truly loved he was not just in Japan, but from all corners of the globe.


	50. The Wind Beneath Our Wings (II)

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD MAY 31, 2019

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CHAPTER 50: THE WIND BENEATH OUR WINGS (II)

The concert was about to begin. Kaori was seated with her by-now closest friend, Hiroko Seto, and sitting next to Hiroko were Brian and Lisa. The atmosphere at Towa Hall for this memorial concert was somber. The 600-strong crowd, from Japan and all across the world, began to become silent, as a 40-something man in a tuxedo came to the center of the stage.

"Good afternoon, musicians of Japan, and across the world. I am Shigeru Okada, the emcee for this concert, and the chairman of the World Young Orchestra Foundation. Today, we are here to gather and remember our beloved Kousei Arima. On September 10th, Kousei Arima's life, after a few months of struggles, came to a tragic and abrupt end. However, even in his all-too short life, it should be known that he had touched many lives, here in Japan, and even across the globe. We are here today, as a group of musicians from both Japan and abroad come together to help remember Kousei Arima, and while he may be gone, the love for him and his music will live on forever. Our first performance will be the Bette Midler song _Wind Beneath My Wings_ on piano. To perform the piece, from Japan, Keiko Tamura, and performing vocals, from Canada, Michelle Weiss."

Keiko was on the grand piano, wearing a black mourning dress. In the center of the stage was Michelle, who had chestnut brown hair and was in a white dress. Keiko started playing the song on the piano, and Michelle began to sing.

MUSICAL NOTE: "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler

_Ohhhh, oh, oh, oh, ohhh.  
It must have been cold there in my shadow,  
To never have sunlight on your face.  
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.  
You always walked a step behind._

_So I was the one with all the glory,  
While you were the one with all the strength.  
A beautiful face without a name for so long.  
A beautiful smile to hide the pain._

_Did you ever know that you're my hero,  
And everything I would like to be?  
I can fly higher than an eagle,  
For you are the wind beneath my wings._

_It might have appeared to go unnoticed,  
But I've got it all here in my heart.  
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.  
I would be nothing without you._

_Did you ever know that you're my hero?  
You're everything I wish I could be.  
I could fly higher than an eagle,  
For you are the wind beneath my wings._

_Did I ever tell you you're my hero?  
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.  
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,  
For you are the wind beneath my wings,  
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings._

_Oh, the wind beneath my wings.  
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.  
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.  
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.  
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings._

_Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,  
So high I almost touch the sky.  
Thank you, thank you,  
Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings._

The audience applauded lightly. Shigeru got back on stage, and Keiko and Michelle left the stage. "Our next performance is the Mr. Mister song _Broken Wings_. On vocals, from the United States, David Madigan, and performing on clarinet, from Japan, Akihiko Fujimoto, and on piano, from Germany, Chiara Schulte."  
Brian told Kaori and Hiroko: "David's my brother."

MUSICAL NOTE: "Broken Wings" by Mr. Mister

_Baby, I don't understand  
Why we can't just hold on  
To each other's hands  
This time will be the last  
I fear unless I make it all too clear  
I need you so_

_Take these broken wings  
And learn to fly again  
And learn to live so free  
When we hear the voices sing  
The book of love will open up  
And let us in  
Take these broken wings_

_Baby, I think tonight  
We can take what was wrong  
And make it right  
Baby, it's all I know  
That you're half of the flesh  
And blood makes me whole  
I need you so_

_So take these broken wings  
And learn to fly again  
Learn to live so free  
When we hear the voices sing  
The book of love will open up  
And let us in_

_Take these broken wings  
You've got to learn to fly, learn to live, love so free  
When we hear the voices sing  
The book of love will open up and let us in yeah, yeah_

_Let us in  
Let us in_

_Baby, it's all I know that you're half of the flesh  
And blood that makes me whole  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah  
Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_So take these broken wings  
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free  
And when we hear the voices sing  
The book of love will open up and let us in_

_Take these broken wings  
You got to learn to fly, learn to live and love so free  
When we hear the voices sing  
The book of love will open up for us and let us in_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah  
Yeah, yeah, yeah_

More light applause followed. The three performers left the stage. Shigeru then announced the next performers. "Our next song will be _If You Leave_ by Orchestral Manoeuvers in the Dark. Performing on vocals, from Canada, Jennifer Warren, and on piano, from Japan, Mayumi Imoto, and on violin, from Brazil, Almir Amaral.

MUSICAL NOTE: "If You Leave" by Orchestral Manoeuvers in the Dark

_If you leave, don't leave now  
Please don't take my heart away  
Promise me just one more night  
Then we'll go our separate ways_

_We've always had time on our sides  
But now it's fading fast  
Every second  
Every moment  
We've got to, we've gotta make it last_

_I touch you once I touch you twice  
I won't let go at any price  
I need you now like I needed you then  
You always said we'd still be friends someday_

_If you leave  
I won't cry  
I won't waste one single day  
But if you leave, don't look back_

_I'll be running the other way  
Seven years went under the bridge  
Like time was standing still  
Heaven knows what happens now  
You've got to, you've gotta say you will_

_I touch you once, I touch you twice  
I won't let go at any price  
I need you now like I need you then  
You always said we'd meet again_

_I touch you once I touch you twice  
I won't let go at any price  
I need you now like I need you then  
You always said we'd still be friends_

_I touch you once I touch you twice  
I won't let go at any price  
I need you now like I need you then  
You always said we'd meet again someday_

_If you leave  
If you leave  
If you leave  
Don't look back  
Don't look back_

The concert went on for two hours. All in all, both ballads from the 1980s and classical musical pieces were played. When it was all over, the host said "This has been our memorial concert for Kousei Arima: The Wind Beneath Our Wings. On behalf of all the young musicians in Japan and across the world today, thank you for coming, and goodbye." The crowd then murmured as the concert came to an end. Kaori was not able to find his uncle Seiya, until Seiya, a 30-something man with glasses and short hair, found the blond-haired girl in the hallway. "Seiya!" Kaori said to his uncle.

"Dearest Kaori! I haven't seen you in a while!" The two hugged each other as they met. "My dear and favorite niece... How are you, Kaori? I've heard you've been distressed. I came in from Vancouver yesterday, and things have been hectic..." Kaori replied with "Imagine so, we haven't seen each other in so long. I thank you for the Rider gear." Seiya smiled "No problem, Kaori. I love the Riders, Kaori. I'm glad you like them, too. Not ashamed of it. Who's this nice lady that's with you here, and these two new people? Just asking."

Kaori then introduced Hiroko, Brian and Lisa to Seiya. "This is Hiroko Seto." Hiroko then went up to Seiya and shook his hand. "Pleased to meet you, Seiya. I was Kousei's mentor and tutor." Lisa then introduced herself. "My name is Lisa Deslauriers, I am a pianist from Canada." Brian was next. "And I am Brian Madigan, I am a clarinetist from the United States." Seiya then said "I see. Nice to meet you all here. Kaori, you've told me about Kousei Arima. I understand that he died recently, which is why I'm here today. You've told me he meant a lot to you..."

Kaori said "Yeah, he was important to me. He was the man I loved." Seiya then said "I see. It's really heartbreaking to hear that, my dear niece... I heard his music, and he was enthralling." Kaori replied with "Yeah, he was so amazing..." Seiya had an idea. "Say, Kaori, Hiroko, Brian and Lisa, do you have some time? We should have dinner together." All five of them nodded in agreement. "Yeah!"

The five went off to Murphy Fries, and all five of them had a good time, talking about how Kousei would always be remembered. Even though this was a sad day, the fact that Kaori and Hiroko got to meet some new friends from half a world away helped allay the pain of the loss of Kousei a little. It also made them feel less lonely in the world, as well.


	51. Breaking Point

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD JUNE 1, 2019

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CHAPTER 51: BREAKING POINT

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: A suicide attempt and some language.

Two days had now passed since the memorial concert. On that day, Seiya returned to Canada for work. Even though that dinner had helped her get her mind off Kousei's death momentarily, those good feelings would turn out be only temporary, and she was now back to her broken self. She was in her green Saskatchewan Roughrider retro T-shirt, and she was sitting on her bed.

She was now just about angry and frazzled over the events of the past several months that had culminated in Kousei's suicide. She looked at her melodica and violin, and the emotions from the fact that the man she had the deepest feelings for, Kousei Arima, had been gone for almost two weeks now, was now becoming too much of a burden for her heart to bear; Kaori had now reached her emotional breaking point.

She started by pulling her hair angrily in frustration, yelling "GODDAMNIT! I HATE THE SOUND OF MUSIC!" Kaori then slammed down her melodica in frustration, breaking it. "I HATE THE DAMN MELODICA! WHY DID KOUSEI HAVE TO KILL HIMSELF, AND MY OWN MUSICAL MOTIVATION?! I DON'T NEED MUSIC, MY VIOLIN OR THIS MELODICA ANYMORE!" She then put her violin away in its case angrily and she shut the case once the violin and bow were inside.

"AND TO HELL WITH THE VIOLIN! I'M NEVER GOING TO PLAY IT AGAIN!" She then kicked the violin case in anger and continued pulling her hair in frustration. "WHAT THE HELL DID THIS GUY EVER DO TO DESERVE DEATH?! I MEAN, THIS PTSD GUY WITH GLASSES JUST SWEEPS ME OFF HIS FEET, HE FEELS HAPPY, THEN HE GETS INTO TO THESE FUCKING ACCIDENTS AND HIS HEAD GETS DAMAGED LIKE HUMPTY DUMPTY AND KILLS HIMSELF TO REPAY ME FOR BEING MY FRIEND AND HELPING HIM GET HIM OUT OF HIS SHELL?! UGGGHHHH! I JUST CAN'T... TAKE THIS PAIN IN MY HEART ANYMORE! HE'S LEFT THIS HUGE CRATER IN MY HEART, AND IT'S GETTING BIGGER BY THE DAY!"

Kaori had now become suicidal. She then angrily went into the kitchen and tried to find some way to end her life. Kousei's death had finally hit her hard like a hammer. She wanted to find some way to end her life. But how was she going to do it? "This hole in my heart... is too much for me to bear! Why, oh why, did Kousei have to be cursed?! This is too much! I want to be reunited with him again... and I'm going to find something that will help me with that! The sleeping pills have to be here, somewhere... or maybe some knives will do the trick..." she whispered to herself.

Kaori's first option was finding sleeping pills. And there the sleeping pills were, in plain view on the countertop in the kitchen. "I can't take this anymore, Kousei Arima... you meant a lot to, and you chose to repay my friendship by killing yourself... this is goodbye..." Hiroko Seto, looking in the distance with Tsubaki, Watari and Kaori's parents, would try and intervene. Just then, Hiroko, who spotted Kaori with the sleeping pills, said "Ryoko, Yoshiyuki, Tsubaki, Watari, GRAB HER!" With that, all five of them came up to Kaori, and before she could even open the bottle of sleeping pills, Hiroko swiped them, and the remaining four people grabbed each one of the hysterical Kaori's limbs, and she tried her hardest to resist the four of them. However, the strength of Tsubaki, Watari, Ryoko and Yoshiyuki's grip on Kaori made it near-impossible for her to move. She was now flailing her arms and legs in frustration.

"LET ME GO, YOU STUPID IDIOTS!" Kaori yelled at them. Tsubaki, Watari, Hiroko and even Kaori's parents had some words for her. Watari spoke first "No, don't do it, Kaori! Don't even thinking about killing yourself!" Tsubaki was next. "We are _NOT_ going to lose another friend this month, _not_ like Kousei! Kaori, don't even think about doing the deed!"

Kaori begged to the five people, as she was being restrained, sobbing, yelled out "LEAVE ME ALONE, DAMMIT! I CAN'T TAKE THIS LOSS ANYMORE! IT'S LEFT A HUGE HOLE IN MY HEART!" Ryoko, Kaori's mother was next to speak. She pleaded with her daughter "No, Kaori, dearie, don't! We love you too much to take your own life!" Kaori's father, Yoshiyuki begged her daughter "We can't let you do that, Kaori, we would all miss you too much! We know how much Kousei meant to you but doing this would be taking a cowardly way out! Please, Kaori, think about this!"

Kaori continued to flail and fight, but the four people had grabbed her almost so tightly, it was a nigh-impossible proposition for Kaori to break free from them. "DAMMIT, LET ME GO, YOU GUYS! LET ME GO! THIS CRATER IN MY HEART IS TOO BIG!" Hiroko Seto had the strongest words yet for Kaori. "Kousei _wouldn't_ like seeing you like this, and he wouldn't want _you_ dying in the same way he did, either. YOU STILL HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU!" Hiroko calmed down momentarily and told Kaori "Kaori... we all know you are heartbroken, but being a coward, and to not face a full life is absolutely foolish, and a waste. You have to keep going! Winston Churchill said, 'If you're going through hell, keep moving.'"

That did it. Kaori started to stop resisting, and she slowly began to slow down. With this, each of her four friends let her go. Kaori then started to break down and sob. Hiroko then hugged her. Kaori then said as she sobbed "OK, OK... you all win... I'm an emotional mess... I will check myself into a mental hospital, tomorrow... it's the only thing that will save me..." As the two females hugged each other, Hiroko told Kaori in a soothing and motherly tone of voice "There, there, sweetie... it is going to be alright..."

Ryoko told the other friends, "Guys, please put the sleeping pills in the toilet, and put all the knives away, so that she doesn't think about ever pulling this thing off again..." Tsubaki, Watari and Yoshiyuki did just that. Kaori would voluntarily put herself in a mental ward the next day. However, in another part of Tokyo, was another girl who would also try and end her life (but in a different way), that would set Kaori on her eventual path to redemption.


	52. On the Edge of the Bridge

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD JUNE 1, 2019

* * *

CHAPTER 52: ON THE EDGE OF THE BRIDGE

Meanwhile, that same night, on this warm 68 degree F/20 degree C night, in another part of Tokyo, near the city's famed Rainbow Bridge, was another girl who was in a different school's uniform, just crying her eyes out over the suicide of Kousei Arima. She looked at a news article on her phone which said _Kousei Arima's death ruled a suicide by overdose_.

~NEWS ARTICLE~  
_The death of teenage piano prodigy Kousei Arima on September 10 at the age of 14 has been confirmed as a suicide by overdose. The doctor that had left the pills of Chlorpromazine that were intended for another patient, whose name has not been disclosed, has resigned from the hospital to atone for this oversight; the doctor was also fined 100000 yen as well, and banned from any medical practice for five years for this act of negligence. Mr. Arima had suffered three different episodes of head trauma prior to his death, and it is confirmed that he had Friedreich's Ataxia, which was inherited by his mother, Saki Arima, another famous musician...  
_~END NEWS ARTICLE~

As she looked at the phone and read the news story, the girl said to herself, sobbing, "Kousei Arima... you don't know how much you meant to me... you helped me get into the piano, and I can't believe you're gone... well, I've made it to the Rainbow Bridge. This is the place... where I shall end... my life. Goodbye, mom, and dad, goodbye, cruel world... life is unfair..."  
Just as the girl put her feet near the fence of the bridge's sidewalk, the girl's mother and father, came up to her and looked shocked. They grabbed her immediately.

"Keiko, darling, what the hell? You're going to kill yourself because of Kousei Arima?" It was Keiko Tamura, the pianist who had performed at the Gala and Kousei's memorial concert, who was just very frazzled over Kousei's suicide. Keiko's mother and father, Seiko and Masahiro, found her trying to jump off the bridge.

Masahiro, Keiko's father, said "Please, Keiko! I know you are heartbroken over Kousei Arima, but don't even think about jumping off that bridge!" Keiko was now being restrained by her parents, who pleaded with her not to take her life. "Keiko, darling, don't leave your younger brother behind all because someone you liked died! It would be foolish and cowardly! You aren't terminally ill like Kousei was! We love you too much for you to do this!"

As Keiko's parents pleaded with her to not and her life and restrained her, two police officers, one male, one female noticed what was going on and came over to intervene and help. The male officer said "What is going on? Another suicide attempt?" The female officer said, "You two, we'll help out."

The male officer said to Keiko, "Come over here, please." She then approached the two officers. "What's your name?" Keiko said "Keiko Tamura." The female one then said "What brought you here on this bridge? To end your life? Why?" Keiko said, "Yes, and I wanted to end my life because Kousei Arima killed himself. He meant a lot to me, and there's this big hole in my heart that's just too big to mend. I'm heartbroken."

The two police officers became sympathetic. The female one said to Keiko "Miss Tamura, we're with the police. We want you to know, that what you were trying to do, was just bad. Please, you are not alone in this world. We are aware of what happened to Kousei Arima, and we've had to stop a few musicians in this city, successfully, I should add, from doing what you did." The male officer said "A lot of people love you. You are not alone. But please, by doing what you were about to do would not only hurt you, but everyone around you emotionally. Think of all the emotional scars you would leave, not just on your family, but your friends as well."

About 30 minutes and three other police officers showing up to the scene later, Keiko decided that it would not be worth it to end her life by jumping off the Rainbow Bridge.

She started to break down and cry, saying "You're freaking right... I can't jump off. I'm a freaking emotional mess. I want to take myself to wherever the hell I can fix myself up emotionally. A mental hospital will be the only place where I can go now..." The first female officer that showed up on the scene hugged her. The four other police officers then reported the incident back to their headquarters. They would not arrest Keiko, but rather, they would instead send her to the nearest psych ward in Tokyo.

The female officer said to Keiko "It'll be alright, sweetie. That is the choice, a mental hospital. Well let's get you fixed up, shall we?" The police then briefed Seiko and Masahiro on the situation. "We're not going to arrest your daughter, Keiko, Mr. and Mrs. Tamura. We're going to try and send her to a mental hospital instead. She's in a state of severe emotional distress over Kousei Arima, and we've also successfully talked her out of committing suicide by jumping off the bridge. She will be taken to the mental ward shortly, for her sake."

The parents nodded. They knew that their daughter, Keiko, who was an excellent, happy-go-lucky pianist, whose whole world was turned upside-down over Kousei's death, was in a state of emotional disarray, and she needed to go somewhere to get her straightened out. Little did she know, that she would meet a new friend at the mental ward...


	53. A New Beginning

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD JUNE 2, 2019

* * *

CHAPTER 53: A CHANCE ENCOUNTER, A NEW BEGINNING

Kaori was all by herself, sitting on the bed of a room in the Tokyo Metropolitan Matsuzawa Hospital. She found it hard to believe that she had actually attempted suicide but was stopped by her closest friends from even doing the deed. She just had a blank look on her face, looking quite placid, wearing a blue that was given to all psychiatric patients at the mental ward. She had voluntarily checked herself for observation due to her severe emotional distress.

The room she was in was awfully quiet. All Kaori could think about was why she even attempted to do this, why did she have to lose it over Kousei, and how her Saskatchewan Roughriders were doing. _Why? I can't believe I did this. Attempting suicide over the death of this guy with PTSD and depression, that got into a lot of accidents. Kousei... I hope you can forgive me. And how are my Riders doing? Since Kousei died, I haven't been able to check on them..._

Just then, a teenage girl with short hair and glasses showed up on Kaori's bed. She was also wearing the same gown and noticed the rather emotionally exhausted Kaori just looking down on her hands blankly, almost like a ghost.

"You sure look like you've been through a lot." Kaori said to the girl, "Tell me about it. I've gone through so much: I lost the person I loved the most, and tried to overdose over it, and that's what's gotten me here right now." The girl said to her "Me too. Only thing was, I attempted suicide by jumping off a bridge, you know, the Rainbow Bridge in Odaiba?"

Kaori said "Oh, yes, _that_ bridge. What brought you here, if I may ask?" The girl said "Well, my parents noticed what I was going to do. Then a few police officers showed up and talked me out of it... and here I am, under observation, like you, because I'm just so emotionally drained."

Kaori's mind then realized something. "Wait a second... you're here too, because you attempted suicide because of Kousei Arima?" The girl said "Yes. I tried to jump off the bridge because of Kousei." Kaori then realized "So did I... he was my love interest, and after he ended his life, I wound up going in an emotionally downward spiral... it's amazing that we're here now? What is your name? My name is Kaori Miyazono, and I play the violin."

The short haired girl then said "My name is Keiko Tamura. I am also a pianist. I last saw Kousei in May at the gala. He was looking a bit frail, but nothing of the sort at that point in time that would even suggest he would end his own life... let me tell you something about Kousei, Kaori. I saw him play when I was a young child. He inspired me, like so many other people I know like Emi Igawa." Kaori said, "You knew Emi Igawa, too?"

Keiko nodded and said, "Yes. I was friends with her for a while, going back to grade school. You might say she was one of my best friends. In regards to Kousei, every time I saw him play the piano, it put me in a trance... he was just that good. Seeing him perform... it made me want to play like him. Which I did. Granted, I wasn't as good as he was, but I was good enough. And then when he committed suicide, I felt like I was at my wit's end. Which is why I wound up in a deep depression, and even though I performed at his memorial concert, I was crushed deep inside. So, I decided to try and jump off a bridge, and as I said, my parents and a few police officers intervened. And here I am in this mental ward."

Kaori then said "Wow... Kousei Arima really did touch so many lives here in Japan, and around the world. My story is that I saw him at a park, and I initially thought he was going to get a panty shot of me when he found my leggings, but they were actually blown up a tree. The guy was just living in his own bubble, which is why shortly after I met him as a friend, he didn't want to perform as my accompanist... but he eventually gave in. I later found out that his mother had verbally and physically beat him up so often because of how such a perfectionist she was... and that made me understand his situation a bit clearer. After he met me, he felt, for the first time in a long time, very happy and optimistic. It was as if his whole world was starting to open up, and he found a light at the end of his tunnel. But then, he gets into three accidents, and along with the fact that he was diagnosed with the same disease that took his mother's life... well, what do you do? He was just backed into a corner and found his whole world fading into nothingness... and then he ends his life by his own hand. And then I tried to keep myself together... but then I tried to commit suicide in the same way as Kousei, by overdosing. My parents and my friends stopped me, however, and here I am, in this mental hospital, just all messed up..." Keiko said "Well, damn. That makes two of us..."

That night, both Kaori and Keiko were looking out the window of the mental ward and into the night sky. Even though summer had ended, and September was almost over, it was still fairly warm, and the sky was clear. Both girls had a moment of clarity with each other.

Keiko started with, "You know... why did I attempt suicide? What am I doing here? It was because I liked Kousei so much, and I was crushed by his death, so I went over to that bridge, but my parents and police stopped me from jumping over the bridge. Now I realize... that is a cowardly way for me to have left this Earth. The same goes with you. Kaori, please, listen to me. Make yourself these vows: That you 1) NEVER ever think of suicide _again_, and 2) NEVER think about abusing drugs, legal or illegal... I am sure you and me would like to see where you go, and where I go in the next twenty years. You _have_ to live. You _have_ to carry on. You have to make Kousei proud... in fact, we _both_ have to make Kousei proud. Kousei would rather see us succeed and live for a long time to come. We should also keep playing music. I think I want to have a husband and two children later and make my parents happy and proud once I finish school... It would be a great dream to fulfill."

Kaori also had a moment of clarity. Keiko was right about everything. "You're right, Keiko... what I realize now is that what I did was rather cowardly. I shouldn't have thought about trying to overdose on sleeping pills. My life may be a wreck right now, but I need to, for Kousei's sake... carry on, pick up myself back up, and get back on the violin and let me, be well, me again. Hell, I'd like to be a successful, world-renowned violinist, but that is years away. Keiko, I think you and I have become friends... you've really struck a nerve with me... and this means a lot..." Kaori shed some tears of joy over how Keiko had reminded her to carry on in the face of adversity. The two embraced each other, and Keiko said to Kaori, "You've got to be brave... and I must be too. Consider me your new best friend, Kaori Miyazono." Kaori replied with "And you are my new best friends, Keiko Tamura..." Keiko smiled and said "That-a-girl. I'm proud and grateful to have met you here..."

Several days passed. October had begun, and Kaori had spent a week in the mental ward. She had been released, and as she left the psychiatric hospital, Keiko had some words for Kaori.

"Kaori... you're headed back to reality now. I hope we can meet again... I think that in the week that we've known each other, we've become friends." Kaori smiled and said, "Thank you. I hope I can meet you again, too... someday."

Keiko and Kaori shook hands once more, and Keiko said "Thank you, Kaori. See you around..." Kaori was then headed home, where Hiroko Seto had some words about Kousei. Kaori was slowly becoming a changed woman again, about to gain a new sense of resolve in spite of all the adversity she had faced in the past six months; her life was about to undergo a new beginning thanks to a chance encounter with Keiko Tamura.


	54. Healing Together

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD JUNE 2, 2019

* * *

CHAPTER 54: "REMEMBER ME"/"WE CAN HEAL TOGETHER"

That afternoon, Hiroko Seto, had a second letter from Kousei that was to have been read after his death. Kaori was out of the robe and into her Saskatchewan Roughrider team T-shirt.

As Hiroko and Kaori gathered in her room to talk about things, Hiroko asked "Kaori, how was your stay in the mental ward?" Kaori said "It was alright... I was messed up before, but I met this pianist named Keiko and she helped set me straight. I feel a little better now, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself, now that I'm out of the mental hospital." Hiroko then showed the letter to Kaori. "Kaori, this is from Kousei. This is a second letter from him, and I think you should read it..." Kaori then opened the envelope. Unlike the first letter, this second was for Kaori only. It read as follows:

_Hello, Miss Miyazono._

_It's hard to believe... that I can actually remember the day I first met you many years ago. We were little, and we were such kindred spirits. I remember when you first saw me... you laughed at me as I fumbled with getting myself situated with the piano. I was also just about tuned in with it; everything just happened naturally to me when I played. Then my mother died, and there went my whole motivation. I became just about tone-deaf, lost, someone who was up a creek without a paddle. So, I just about gave it up. But all I could think of was my mother and music. They were just about inextricably linked with me. Still, you saw me from afar and you were captivated by me. Quite a few years passed, and then we found ourselves in the same middle school. Don't get me wrong, you looked good with glasses, but I just wanted to see how cool you looked without them. You were also self-conscious about yourself. Yeah, I was still a bit tone-deaf... but your free spirit really captured my heart. Our styles were different, you held a more looser style in playing your music, and I was a much more rigid kind of guy. Despite that, you really enthralled me with your skillful violin playing. You also found my faith in the playing the piano again. But then, this illness hit me. It's hard to believe, but you've somehow managed to be a very bright beacon of hope, even as the months went by, when all hope seemed lost within me. OK, I'll just cut to the chase... I told a lie. I told Tsubaki I liked her, when the truth was... I love you, Kaori. I never thought I'd say this... but I fell madly in love with you. I wish were meant for each other. I also wish I could have told this to you face-to-face. You really brought me out of my shell, and what can I say? You freed me from my metaphorical shackles of my mother, and of my "metronome" style. You play the violin oh so damn well. You always put me in a trance when I hear your skillful playing, and we complimented ourselves awesomely. I also have this to say: It's hard to believe, but I wish you could lean on my chest, and embrace me. I really wish I could be by your side, gathering happiness. If I ever see you again, we'll know our love is true; on days when I can't sleep, I send my heart far away to you. So, Kaori, will you remember me long after I'm gone? Will you remember me in 5 years? In 10 years? Or even 20? When the time comes that I do leave this Earth, I hope that a thousand points of light will radiate... knowing that I have left behind a wonderful impression. Kaori... remember me. You gave me a chance to expose my real self at the piano. Tell Hiroko, Tsubaki and Watari to remember me as well. And so, Kaori, in conclusion: I love you. But, please, don't think of me too often. I don't want you getting sad about me. Always remember all this. And so, Kaori, I must now say farewell to this life, and wish you Godspeed. You've been a good, kind, and loyal friend to me, if not one of THE best friends to me, and you've made a real difference in my life. I will always treasure our relationship and think of you with fond memories, warm feelings, and a special place in my heart... please, live well, Kaori. Just LIVE. I'll be walking beside you every step of the way. Thank you for everything._

_-Kousei Arima_

Kaori was touched by how Kousei really had felt about her, she started to cry. "Oh, it all ties together now..." Hiroko then said, "That's how he really felt about you after all this time, you meant the world to him." Kaori then said "You're right! He really did have feelings towards me... he said, more or less, he was my oxygen."

Hiroko then passed along some information. "By the way, the hospital said the pills that Kousei took to end his life, were actually meant for another patient and that a staffer had unwillingly left it there on accident. That employee has since resigned from the hospital to atone for this oversight; he was also fined 100000 yen and banned from working in any medical practice for five years for that act of negligence. Also, have you thought about the implications of yourself if we hadn't stopped you from overdosing like Kousei did? Remember, Kousei decided to end his life because he was terminally ill, and his brain was giving out; the brain damage he had was quite severe. The blows to the head made him almost crippled and just about paralyzed, and only made his disease much worse; the coroners stated he had been in the equivalent of at least 100 car crashes. You, on the other hand, are healthy as can be. Kaori, please remember this: No matter how hard it is to control your grief after the loss of a loved one... life still has to go on."

Kaori, having a moment of clarity, then pondered and said "You're right! I shouldn't have touched those pills or even tried to get my hands on a knife to stab myself. ... thank god you guys stopped me. I know that Kousei was in such deep pain when he killed himself... I'm far from that, and that would have been a cowardly way for me to go... and, how would the other people I know viewed me had I succeeded in my suicide attempt? Would they have either understood, forgave or hated me for such an act? Now I know this... that week in the mental hospital really straightened me out. And now, I must get back my violin skills, try and play the Famicom less often, and get ready to get back on the violin again... and I have to carry on without Kousei. I need to have it in my heart to perform my heart out for him, because I have to make him proud and know, he wouldn't have wanted it any other way!"

Hiroko then smiled at Kaori, and said, "Now that is the proper way of thinking, Kaori dear." Just then, a door knocking was heard. Since Kaori and Hiroko were the only ones who were in the house at the moment, they were surprised. "Who is it, Kaori?" Kaori said, "I'm not sure... I guess we'll find out." It was Keiko Tamura. Being from a different school, she wore a different uniform. Kaori looked surprised, but in a good way. Keiko had come back from the mental hospital and needed to talk to Kaori.

Keiko said, "Kaori, am I glad I saw you again. I think I stumbled my way here, so don't look surprised that I found you here." Kaori said "Am I glad to meet you again, Keiko. I know you now, so I'm not mad that you found my place."

Keiko then said "OK, I think I need to talk about what is going on. There will be a December musical festival contest. It is in early December, and it is for the Christmas holiday. I think I need a new accompanist to help me out in it... and ever since I met you, I never forgot about you. You're the one who can help me get me back on my feet on the piano. Kaori... our hearts were both broken in September. When we met each other, I realized... we should be friends. We are now. You had something in you that made me believe in you. We can heal together and make Kousei proud. We've had our share of regrets, heartbreak even, but I realized... I could be a worthy successor as your accompanist. We will work hard to make Kousei proud here, and after all we have a competition to win after all... this is the last major musical competition of the year."

Kaori, realizing that Keiko is her key to getting her back on the path to the violin, agreed. The two shook hands, and as they hugged each other, Kaori said, "You got yourself a new accompanist. Our hearts may have broken for Kousei, but we're the ones that can help ourselves heal from our devastation. The show must go on, Keiko... like that song by Queen. We can't be foolish in ending our own lives in the way we did anymore. We have to press on... because, no matter how hard it is to control your grief after the loss of a loved one... life still has to go on, Keiko. I'm ready for you."

Hiroko then looked at the two females. She smiled at them. "Well, Kaori, Keiko, you certainly have made a new friendship, as much as you have me now, Kaori. Come on, we have to get you both ready for December... and like you said, the show must go on..."


	55. The Show Must Go On

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD JUNE 2, 2019

* * *

CHAPTER 55: THE SHOW MUST GO ON

Since Kaori had made a friend in Hiroko Seto, she would be the perfect coach for both Kaori and Keiko. All three were becoming fast friends, and Hiroko saw something magical in Keiko and Kaori. The pianist and violinist had to get ready for the big December competition, since it was now early October. The show had to go on for both of them.

MUSICAL NOTE: "The Show Must Go On" by Queen

_Empty spaces, what are we living for?  
Abandoned places, I guess we know the score  
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for?  
Another hero, another mindless crime  
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime  
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore?_

At first, Kaori was somewhat hesitant to touch her violin again. She finally had the nerve to do so, and at first sounded rusty. Sometimes, it seemed like Kaori couldn't get her violin skills back. But with Hiroko and Keiko at her side, with each playing, it seemed like the Kaori of old had returned. On one playing, Kaori was like "What? Have I completely lost my touch for good?" Hiroko fired back with "No! Keep going... you've got to get your fingers balanced on that bow, and hold your violin firmly!"

_The show must go on  
The show must go on  
Yeah  
Inside my heart is breaking  
My make-up may be flaking  
But my smile still stays on_

For Keiko, getting back on the piano was also a struggle for her. Slowly, but surely however, Hiroko Seto, who had known Kousei Arima so well, helped her get back her touch on the piano. With each passing day, it felt like everything that she had seen from Kousei was coming back to her. And that's what she wanted. "Keiko... You sounded a little out of tune, maybe because you were playing so fast. Slow down!" Hiroko told Keiko. Keiko said "Alright, I'll slow down the pace."

_Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance  
Another heartache, another failed romance  
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?  
I guess I'm learning (I'm learning), I must be warmer now  
I'll soon be turning (turning, turning, turning), 'round the corner now  
Outside the dawn is breaking  
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free_

As October progressed, both Kaori and Keiko were coaching each other, and giving motivational speeches to each other. Kaori said one day to Keiko, "You ever heard of the Canadian Football League's Grey Cup? That's the championship trophy and game held every November. The Grey Cup is won in November. We've got to give it our best, throw every pass, and hope it lands in the end zone!" Keiko said "You got it, Kaori! The Grey Cup is won in November, and we can win in December!" Hiroko said to the two "That's the spirit, you two! You are the last piece of each other's puzzle! You're becoming mighty!"

_The show must go on  
The show must go on (yeah yeah)  
Ooh, inside my heart is breaking  
My make-up may be flaking  
But my smile still stays on_

_Yeah_

Having Hiroko by their side proved to be a big boon to both Kaori and Keiko. Her motherly approach to everything was just what the two needed. As October ended, it seemed like both of their playing styles were meshing in well together; in fact, Keiko's piano playing was much like that of Kaori's playing of the violin: Free-flowing. And this really impressed each other, and Hiroko also approved of the two. They had something special together.

Hiroko said in awe as the two of them played together, "Wow... I never thought you two free-spirited musicians could mesh well together... you truly deserve each other. Keiko, Kaori... you are going to be unstoppable now." As November approached, Kaori and Keiko had finally found their magic touches again. They were quickly becoming ready for December, when the Annual Japan Young Musician's Roundup would take place.

_Ooh, I'll top the bill, I'll overkill  
I have to find the will to carry on  
(On with the show, on with the show)_

_Show (show must go on, go on)_

As November ended, and both Keiko and Kaori had finally found their way again, Keiko briefed Kaori on what they would play. "It's _Dvorak - Sonatina Op.100 1st movement_, and I picked this only recently, only because I struggled to find what to play this whole time, Kaori." Kaori looked amazed. "Whoa... something up-tempo. Given how my playing style is... I think we can accomplish this together. It's taken us both a while, but I think we can manage. As I said once, the Grey Cup is won in November, and we can win in December."

Keiko then asked, "By the way, how did you favorite Canadian football team, the Saskatchewan Roughriders do?" By this time, Keiko had become well aware of Kaori's love for the Saskatchewan Roughriders of the CFL. Kaori lamented "They didn't win the Grey Cup. They lost to the B.C. Lions in the West Final, and they won the cup. For the Riders, there's always next year. But not for us. We have one chance to prove ourselves, and as your new accompanist, this is also your only chance. Let's give it all that we have, give it our best, and make Kousei proud... and make sure that this all reaches both him and his mother... because I think he'll watch us from above... which will give us a big lift."

Keiko then said "You got it. This is our time... our time to shine. Our time to make Kousei happy, and proud... because you know he will be watching us every step of the way, as you say, from above." Kaori got out her fist. Keiko got out hers as well. "Alright, Keiko, let's do this. ALL FOR ONE, AND ONE FOR ALL!" Both girls then said, "ALL FOR ONE, AND ONE FOR ALL!" The two were now ready for the big show.


	56. Showtime

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD JUNE 2, 2019

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CHAPTER 56: SHOWTIME/IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS

Once again, Towa Hall would be site of the biggest competition of Kaori and Keiko's lives. The Annual Japan Young Musician's Holiday Roundup was now here on December 10. Many young musicians from across the country had come, hoping to wow a judge of five people for this holiday competition. Would Kaori and Keiko finally reach the next level, and mesh well together and make Kousei proud, or would they fall flat and disappoint him from above? Two months of preparation after his death had come down to this for both Kaori Miyazono and Keiko Tamura.

Kaori was in her white dress, waiting for Keiko. She wondered to herself, with Hiroko by her side "Crap, where is Keiko?" Sure enough, the short-haired glasses wearing pianist ran over to Hiroko and Kaori. She was somewhat late, but she was ready with her score for _Dvorak - Sonatina Op.100 1st movement_ ready to go.

"Sorry I'm late, you two. The trains here were rather slow today, for some reason. Please forgive me." Kaori was more understanding than Kousei when he showed up late to the Gala. "It's alright, Keiko. You got the score in your hands?"

Keiko said, "Yes. I do. We've prepared two months for this. Can we have a talk together? You know, when I first met you, Kaori Miyazono, two months ago, we were both lost souls who were grieving for the loss of a loved one. Then we tried to end our lives, and we crossed paths at a mental hospital. And then we realized... we have to live. For us, two young musicians, ending our lives... by our own hand, at that... would have been a cowardly way for both of us to go out. We also found out... we had something special together. Your violin playing... is like mine. I'm not too rigid, I'm very loose, free-flowing, free-spirited... just like you. And that's what made me realize we complete each other. Kaori... I am glad to have met you, and your friend Hiroko. It's been a couple months, but whatever happens today... I'm going to be very proud of you, and Kousei would be too."

Kaori said "Keiko... you're right. Kousei would not wanted to have had it any other way... you do complete me too. It's amazing that just two months ago, we were a mess. Now, we are on the brink of something amazing... and I could not have gotten back on my feet on the violin without you, and Hiroko. Hiroko is something like a big sister to me, and you are a worthy successor for Kousei to me. It is on both of us to make him proud now... we both also have to live, for our sake, and for Kousei's. He would want to see us succeed now, and in the future."

Hiroko had something to say to the two. "Kaori, Keiko... I'm really impressed in how far you have come in these two months. I never thought that either of you would even get your musical skills back, but once you realized the power of love and friendship between each other, it all started to meld together. I am proud of you two in enduring through adversity, and I will be pulling for you today. No matter what happens, Keiko, Kaori... I'm forever proud of the both of you."

Keiko then smiled. "Alright, Kaori, let's do this. It's showtime. It all comes down to this... all for one, and one for all. Ready, Kaori?!" Kaori got out her fist, as did Keiko. "ALL FOR ONE, AND ONE FOR ALL!" they both said. They were soon going to be up, but before that, there would be a little moment of silence as a tribute to Kousei Arima.

Just before the two took the stage, an announcement on the P.A. system came over the auditorium. "Our next performers Annual Japan Young Musician's Holiday Roundup for this will be Kaori Miyazono on the violin, and Keiko Tamura on the piano performing _Dvorak - Sonatina Op.100 1st movement_. Before this performance begins, we would like to observe a 15-second moment of silence, in memory of Kousei Arima, whose life was cut short on September 10."

A 15-second moment of silence was observed. After that was over, Watari and Tsubaki, who were slowly beginning to move on from Kousei after his death, were in the audience. Watari said "Wow... Kaori has come so far in two months. I never thought that she'd finally get back on the violin... but thanks to Hiroko, and this new girl Keiko... she's back. From the depths of hell and back again... I'm proud of her." Tsubaki beamed with pride "Indeed. Even though we have lost Kousei, life still has to go on. He'll always be looking at as from above, forever... I'm glad Kaori has come through in spite of this emotional trauma."

Just then, Keiko Tamura and Kaori Miyazono took their places. It was the first time Kaori had ever been seen with her violin in public since May. For Keiko, since the memorial concert, it was her first time at the piano in front of a large crowd. They knew that Kousei loved performing in front of large crowds, which was his dream, and Keiko looked at the piano bench. She then pointed and looked skyward. Kaori then looked skyward, and pointed her violin bow skyward, as if she were looking up at Kousei. _Kousei, I hope looking towards me from above, and I know you'll help me here._

Keiko and Kaori started playing _Dvorak - Sonatina Op.100 1st movement_. Everything around them... it sounded lovely. They were fantasizing that Kousei was looking at them both, and he was feeling proud of the two.

~FANTASY SEQUENCE~  
The spirit of Kousei then looked at Keiko "Keiko... you are making me feel wonderful. I know that we didn't meet much, but you have really impressed me. Look at Kaori, as well!" The spirit of Kousei smiled at the both of them, and even though he wasn't really around, he felt a feeling of pride, joy and excitement over Keiko and Kaori's playing together. It was really making the spirit of Kousei feel warm and happy. He wanted to tell them something. But he couldn't, because the two were playing the piece together. But even at that, he knew that his spirit was living on... In both Kaori and Keiko. It was the last dream that Kousei wanted... and it was being fulfilled in a large way. Keiko was performing magnificently, with her piano playing meshing in well with that of Kaori's violin playing. Kousei was now beaming with pride at the two. "Kaori... please... don't feel too melancholy about me. You are what you are... and don't EVER change." Kaori smiled at Kousei's spirit. "Kousei, silly... you know I live in you." Kousei smiled "Yes, you do." The spirit went over to Keiko. "And you, new girl... erm, Keiko... you're like Kaori if she played the piano... it feels so wonderful!" Keiko said, "Yes, it does! I'm alive!" The spirit of Kousei then said "Wow... I am alive! I feel alive! You two are making me come alive...! It feels so great! You are making me proud! Go, Keiko and Kaori!"

~END FANTASY SEQUENCE~

Four minutes later, the piece ended. The crowd cheered loudly for Kaori and Keiko. The two girls looked at each other with pride. They were filled with joy for each other. From the depths of emotional hell two months ago after Kousei's death, to putting on the best performance of their young lives, they had finally gone from hell... to heaven. And the audience reaction was a huge indication of what they had accomplished.

A bit later, when it was revealed that Kaori and Keiko had won the first prize for the competition, the two then hugged each other, with tears of joy streaming down their faces.

"Kaori... thank you for helping me heal. Music can heal even the biggest emotional wounds, and you have accomplished this for me, and Kousei. I think you have a bright future ahead of you." Kaori said "Same here, Keiko... you rescued me from my darkest emotional hour, and we rescued each other. Where would I be without you?" Hiroko shed some tears of joy, looking at the two, saying to herself "I've done my job... Kousei, you may be gone, but you are beaming down with pride and joy at these two girls you've brought together... you truly have inspired many to take up their dreams."

The next day, on this somewhat cold December day, Kaori saw Kousei's grave. It was right by Saki's, and she thought to herself _Kousei... I've made you proud. This girl Keiko, she rescued me from emotional hell... and here I am, having won the Holiday Music contest with her... feeling happy and looking up at you... I'm glad I've made a difference in your life._


	57. Forever and Ever

FIRST PUBLISHED ON WATTPAD JUNE 2, 2019

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CHAPTER 57: FOREVER AND EVER

~20 YEARS LATER~

_And so, for me, Kaori Miyazono, even though it's been 20 years since you ended your story, Kousei Arima, I'm glad that I have been able to carry on my own for your sake. You've inspired so many people, not just in Japan, but around the world, to help pursue their musical dreams. And now, thanks to you, Kousei Arima, I am a world-renowned violinist, who is loved the world over. I'm a changed woman, thanks to you. You've really made a very big difference in my life, and I'm glad I was able to change yours... Kousei, people still love you, and they always will, forever and ever._

Kaori Miyazono woke up on March 28, on what would have been Kousei Arima's birthday.

She was now 35 years old, a world-renowned violinist, and a mother to a cute 5-year old son named Hikaru, who shared her same blond locks. And who was Hikaru's father? Why, it was a man named Hayato Minamida, who happened to be the stepson of the late Kousei Arima's father, Takahiko, who had moved on with his life after Kousei's demise and remarried to another musician named Atsuko Minamida; Kaori had married Hayato. Hayato was the very spitting image of the deceased Kousei Arima, and it was hard to tell sometimes whether he was Kousei or Hayato.

Hayato smiled at the framed picture of Kousei Arima to Kaori. "You know, I look at this picture, and think about Kousei. He really was loved." Kaori smiled and said "He sure was, Hayato. I still have those two letters he left for me when he died... he said in one of them, 'Will you remember me in 20 years?' And, yes, I do. We both do."

Kaori looked at her son and smiled. "Hikaru, you are so wonderful! How have you been today?" Hikaru said "Great, mom! I love you!" Kaori said, "I love you too, Hikaru!" Hayato smiled. "Aah, a nice mother/son relationship." Kaori, of course, still loved the Saskatchewan Roughriders. She was wearing the team's polo shirt today.

On this day, there was a gathering at a park to remember Kousei Arima. Among some of the guests were Kousei's father, Takahiko, who was almost nearing his retirement with his second wife, Atsuko, Kaori's parents, Ryoko and Yoshiyuki, who were filled with nothing but effusive pride and praise for their daughter for having pulled through during her most emotionally distressed hour (and also in the fact they were also grandparents to a cute son), and were about to sell their bakery to the next generation, but it would stay within the Miyazono family; Tsubaki Sawabe, who had become a hairdresser, Ryouta Watari, who had become a sportswriter.

Hiroko Seto, who had a hand in helping Kaori after Kousei's death (and still was a music teacher). was accompanied by her daughter, Koharu, who was now in her early 20s, and quite a few others, including Keiko Tamura, who still played music, but was also now a music teacher; she had both one son and one daughter. Emi Igawa, Takeshi Aiza and his sister Nagi had also become professional piano players; Nagi was now all grown up, being in her early 30s, with a son and daughter of her own; Emi had a daughter and Takeshi a son. Also present was Nao Kashiwagi, who became a newspaper journalist, and had a son. The World Young Orchestra Foundation had set up a scholarship called _Kousei's Wish_; it was eligible for any teenage orchestra musician anywhere in the world.

20 years had passed, but the love for Kousei still lived on. The mood at the gathering was quite a happy one. They all had some stories to share about Kousei, his short life, the impact he left on young musicians across the world, and how loved he was to this day. Kaori then saw Koharu, with Hiroko. Kaori smiled at Koharu, "Koharu! I remember you! You've grown a lot since I last saw you a while ago!" Koharu smiled, and now that she was in her early 20s, she had blossomed into a beautiful young woman. "Yes, I have!"

Kaori said, "Your mom and I go back a ways... we're still pretty close after all these years!" Koharu said "Yeah, she's told me all about it in fact we've met a few times when I was younger. She even taught me how to play the piano as well." Kaori smiled and said, "You play so excellently... you've grown up quite nicely, I must say!" Koharu said "Why, thanks!" Takahiko then spotted Kaori. "You know, ever since Kousei left us, your family and me have developed quite a kinship. Ryoko and Yoshiyuki are nice people... and remember those foreigner friends you met?"

Kaori said "You mean Brian and Lisa? They work in computers now, the both of them, but they still love music. They couldn't be here today, nor could uncle Seiya, he's busy back in Canada... but he still loves the Saskatchewan Roughriders, Takahiko!" Takahiko hugged Kaori. "I'm glad you married my stepson. It means a lot to me... he does look like Kousei. I can't help but be reminded of him." Kaori said "Yeah... he's a wonderful guy." A lot of chatter went on during this gathering, and it was a joyous time, despite the fact that Kousei Arima was gone. The love for him really did live on.

Kaori then talked to Nagi Aiza. "20 years since Kousei left us, huh? It's hard to believe what a young life taken so soon... can have a long-lasting impact on all of us." Kaori nodded, and replied "True, true, Nagi..."

Just then, Kaori, Hayato and Hikaru gazed at a painting of Kousei on his piano that was being displayed at the party. Kaori closed her eyes and smiled at the painting. She took this moment to express her gratitude to the friends that had helped save her from her worst emotional episode 20 years earlier, and how she made a difference in Kousei's life.

_Hiroko... Tsubaki... Watari... Lisa... Brian... Keiko... I'm so glad I've been able to meet and know you all... and you, Kousei... I'm forever grateful to have made a difference in your life..._

**~FIN~  
**_**THE STORY OF "HIS LIE IN APRIL" IS CONCLUDED.**_


	58. (BONUS) Thought Process

NOTE: This chapter contains thoughts from the author. As the title indicates, there are SPOILERS regarding this story, and the original one this story is based upon, _Your Lie in April_. Please do not read this chapter unless you have read/ this story or read/watched _Your Lie in April_ in full.

The rest of you, please enjoy this insight from me about this fic.

* * *

I love the Naoshi Arakawa manga series and anime _Your Lie in April_. However, I was crushed by the fact that the beautiful Kaori Miyazono dies in it (a fate she did _not_ deserve, she's such a cute and sweet gal). I couldn't bring myself to watch episode 15 to 22 of the anime series in full, seeing that I was somewhat bothered by the content if I watched it (hey, we all have our different ways of watching anime and reading manga). So that had me going through a huge rabbit hole. What if the fates in this story were reversed, with Kousei being the sick one, and Kaori not being in that position instead? Well, back in January of 2019, a friend of mine and I explored all this, and we came up with some great ideas. There was also a fic with the facts reversed called _Musical Sorrow _(on ), but it stopped being written a few years ago (and is incomplete is a result; a link can be seen in the comments). Ultimately, this was one factor that made me want to write this whole story to completion; _Musical Sorrow_ was one the inspirations for this story.

Unfortunately, given that Kousei Arima has a big case of PTSD and depression, if he found out he had this disease that his mom had, he'd lose his will to live rather quickly (and this makes for a perfect storm of a tragedy for him). And the fact that he loses his foot and hits his head three times in this story to compound his problems (and has it comparatively worse than Kaori in the original story), led to me writing this story. I mostly wanted to feel better about myself and wanted something that people could read all the way through.

Yes, this story is darker than the original. Yes, I know that some of the content in this story is quite sensitive to some viewers. But having written it down in full after six months, I feel like I have a certain sense of accomplishment within me.

When you reverse the fates of Kousei and Kaori, the story becomes sort of like the 2012 Jojo Moyes book (and its 2016 movie adaptation starring Emilia Clarke of _Game of Thrones_ fame) _Me Before You_. Before I wrote this down and proposed this idea on reddit at the start of 2019, a redditeer pointed out that my fic that you have just completed would be just like it, I had to watch the movie and read the book. Let me tell you, I was touched and crying by the end of both the movie and book _Me Before You_. If you haven't read it or seen the movie, DO IT. It is just as good as _Your Lie in April_ and this fic. As a result of this, I did include a couple homages to _Me Before You_ near the end. You might say Kaori is Louisa Clarke and Kousei is Will Traynor in this story. One of the working titles for this story was "They Couldn't Save Kousei's Brain", but that gave away the plot a bit too much.

Also, you may have noticed that Kaori Miyazono has become a fan of the Canadian Football League's Saskatchewan Roughriders, a team and league that is almost unknown outside of Canada and North America. Before you criticize me for adding that aspect of the character (in making it a bit more international), let me tell you that her love of the Riders _DOES NOT_ have any bearing on the plot at large (nor does her playing of the Famicom in certain points), and I, as a big fan of the CFL and the Saskatchewan Roughriders (and I sincerely apologize if you felt I overdid it with the references to them, I just like the CFL so much XD), thought it would have been fun to include, as I wanted to also exhibit that even young teenage musicians like Kaori Miyazono should stop and have some fun once in a while. I mean, life can't be all just working on music, ya know. You've also noticed quite a bit of 1980s rock and pop music in this story. Because of the alternate story, I thought it would have been cool to incorporate that kind of music in this fic.

On the note of the CFL, because of how sad this story is, to help me keep my spirits up, I would watch old Canadian Football League games. It really helped me out in writing this story.

One person told me that reversing the fates of the characters would defeat the purpose of the plot. I say this: No, it doesn't. If you have read this fully, you will notice that the message in this new story is this: Endure to the end. It is also why this story exists; there would still be a story, but it would take on a different scope, one that is more Kaori-centric. This story has given Kaori Miyazono the ending she didn't get in the original story, but the ending she also _DESERVED_. And I am a happy man for writing this story.

Having now completed _His Lie in April_, I feel like this would make for a great movie that people would watch. A man can dream... so who knows? It could happen.

Before I end this, I'd like to thank my friend, Daniel for helping me out with parts of this fic. Without him, I'd be a just another scrub writer. He's a pretty good friends to me.

And thank you, the reader of this fic, for staying with me. I am satisfied that you have enjoyed this story. It means a lot to me, as both a person and a writer. See you around...

Johnny Garfield  
June 2, 2019


	59. (BONUS) Production Notes

Here is a chapter where production notes about this fic will appear; namely, obscure references and other notes related to this story will appear here.

CHAPTER 8: Stand By Me, Kaori

THE SASKATCHEWAN ROUGHRIDERS: They are a team in the Canadian Football League, as mentioned by Kaori, and play in the CFL's West Division. The team is based in the Saskatchewan provincial capital of Regina, and play their home games at Mosaic Stadium (since 2017). The team was established in 1910 as the Regina Rugby Club, and are the second-oldest team in the CFL (and the oldest surviving team in the West Division). They were renamed the Regina Roughriders, becoming the Saskatchewan Roughriders in 1948. The team has won only four Grey Cups (the CFL's Super Bowl) as of this writing, in 1966, 1989, 2007 and 2013, the least of all the nine current CFL teams. The team is known in the CFL for having the most diehard fans in the league, with fans not just in their home province of Saskatchewan, but all across Canada and the world. Some people get married at their games, have their honeymoon at their games and even propose there, too; it is common across Canada to see a Green/White Roughriders logo somewhere. Among some of the star players in the history include quarterback Ron Lancaster, running back George Reed, quarterback Kent Austin, receiver Ray Elgaard, kicker Dave Ridgway, to name a few.

CANADIAN FOOTBALL: Canadian football is sport that similar to American football in many ways. However, there quite a few rules differences, to name a few: 1) The field is bigger, in that it is 110 yards long by 65 yards wide, with two 20 yard long endzones on each end (as opposed to 100 yards by 53.3 yards wide, with two 10 yard endzones; including the endzones, the Canadian field is 34% larger than the American one). 2) Each team fields 12 men on offense and defense, not 11. 3) The offense only gets 3 downs, not 4 to convert 10 yards. 4) In the U.S. game, where one backfield on offense can move prior to the snap, ALL backfield can move before the snap in Canada. 5) The 'fair catch' rule in the American game, which allows any punt or kickoff to be returned without any interference, is no in effect in Canada; however, there is one caveat: The kicking team must give the the return team a 5-yard halo to catch the ball, otherwise, a "no yards" penalty will result. 6) The goalposts are on the front of the endzone, not the back in Canada. 7) Canadian rules allow a drop kick to be attempted at any time by any player, but this is rarely done. 8) The most unique part about Canadian football is there is an additional way of scoring, called a rouge (but more commonly referred to as a "single"): One point is scored when the ball is kicked into the end zone by any legal means—other than a convert (successful or not) or a successful field goal—and the receiving team does not return (or kick) the ball out of its end zone. A single is also scored if the kick travels through the end zone, or—other than on a kickoff—the ball goes out of bounds in the end zone without being touched.

THE CANADIAN FOOTBALL LEAGUE: The league was founded in 1958 when nine clubs (the B.C. Lions, Calgary Stampeders, Edmonton Eskimos, Saskatchewan Roughriders, Winnipeg Blue Bombers, Hamilton Tiger-Cats, Toronto Argonauts and Montreal Alouettes), who came from two different football leagues, merged to form the CFL. The league plays a 18-game regular season spanning from mid-June to early November. The playoff format features the top team from each division having an automatic home berth in the division final, and a bye week during the division semifinal. The second-place team from each division hosts the third-place team in the division semifinal, unless a fourth-place team from one division finishes with a better record than a third place team in the other (this provision is known as the crossover rule.) The winners of each division's semifinal game then travel to play the first place teams in the division finals. The two division champions then face each other in the Grey Cup game. The Grey Cup has been awarded since 1909; but has been awarded exclusively to the CFL since 1958.


End file.
